why does it feel so good to be hurt
on the outside
when you already hurt so much
on the inside
a well placed punch
releases the pain of being born
when you shouldn’t have
hands around my neck
squeezing the air thin
feel like home
                probably because of my dad
pinned helplessly down
slapped too hard
          just watch those brain cells
          that’s how I pay your bills
it all seems fitting
fair even

loving you has made me
a terrible weak selfish person
and he knows it