I cursed, Heaven and Hell
For the lost ******, the silent bell
I tried so hard to create
That Eternal peace, that teases fate.
Trapped in my pain, heavy as lead
I struggle to lift my head.
And tired, I sit and moan
While watching others on their own
Smiling happy in their sleep
My cheeks burning as I weep.
Spending every hour, night and day
In that bed where my loves lay
Crushed by the silence of this grave
Of that bed I am now slave.
And as my sins I now renew
I sense the world has a grim view
Of a soul broken, into tiny pieces
Each reflected by the creases
And shed through many lonely tears
While others sat enjoying beers.
Bitterness turned my world small
I couldn't forgive them all
To watch them burn
Back to Hell I'd gladly return.
Deaf to the loudest of bells
Carelessly trampling on eggshells
I know it is my own fault
That I am empty and old!
I sat ignoring all the bells
While others loved their own selves.

A grey sky, heavy as lead, dulls my window
Listless I lie, propped up by a pillow.
A restless little bird chirps the world awake
Watching from my bed, I feel cold as a snake.

Death has darkened every ***
What was once alive now sticky with rot
On a mouldy stem, hangs a red rose
A patch of colour that time froze.

And all the bugs have crawled away
Sensing destruction's here to stay
Oh... how I wish that winter came
Its white veil...  to shroud the decay.

Death only ever shies away...
When crisp white flakes fall on the day
And all that's ravaged is now frozen
Suddenly  Autumn's curse is broken.

I love to love...
I yearn to love, to be in love.
My heart, a faint flap of a mute dove.
I listen to you and wonder at your touch.
I follow you, wondering....wondering so much.
So smart .... only having said little.
Always smiling, so noncommittal.
I talk, staring at the void rolling around in your eyes.
The story of us, spun from too many goodbyes.
My thoughts on life, your thoughts on cars.
Our paths criss cross on the diffrent parts
Of a flat so small and yet too big...
I meet you at the fridge, munching like a pig.
We walk through
Speckles of dust that dance in flat rays...
I love you all the way to the bottom of the driveway.
You peck my cheek, caress the car, fly away.
The cat breaks the silence, yawnig at the moon.
I sit stunned, wondering why I love a buffoon.
We need each other, in order to be seen.
Welded together, some see you and some see me.
A union complete, a match made to beat.
Both bored and too lazy to cheat.
United in friendship, each for the other, a mate.
Not unseprable lovers, but friends that love to mate.