G oodness in the morning dew
O penness in the afternoon
O bstinate in the early night
D ay light fades to black
B eauty is in my dreams
Y earning for this all to change
E nding back to start a new.
!

This is just not working,
Our marriage is just jerking.
I didn't realize your pain,
You think we need counseling.
Yes we do it must be stressed,
by the way I think I am depressed.
Why did you not tell me this,
I was afraid  I would have to go fish.
Counseling failed for you had decided
Long before we even tried it.
I am broken lost and lonely,
I gave you all even the Home.
You said we would be friends but I new different,
I moved away so I wouldn't be flippant.
You are happy that's for sure,
You ripped my heart with just one word.
As our divorce becomes final I love you still,
You tell me you don't but act and care like I am a spill.
Life with you was all I wanted,
Your happy now and enchanted.
I am glad that you are Happy!
Do you care that I feel ******?
You are Happy and have changed your style your voice and me,
I am left with out a voice in this entire thing has been your choice.
Lastly I must say to you, Jen I love you,
even-though you make me blue.

No Pants day Hurrah!
Had to wear them anyway,
Do to work today.

I have always tried  to be the one who helps the lonely and the small.
Always telling them that they will get through things will get better I am here with you through it all.
I have helped many and have heard there thank you’s and praise.
Dismissed those praises for many reasons mostly because I felt I did not deserve them.
The other day in happy passing I made a comment of years long passing of a friend who tried and failed
Many times over for attention it was blamed. But this person said something that blew my mind.
She doesn’t understand and is glad she never has the thought of the often end and those that go with it.
I was shocked and had nothing to say for I did not know that people could feel this way.
I thought my mind was one of normal not of one who is lost with sadness, lost with the mind.
My mind does not let me feel no such thought it is always grabbing hold to tell me my losses.
Reminds me of my failings and how much I am a burden it leaves me with crosses that make become halted.
So this is such a break through but hard to comprehend I am worthy to be in God’s Plan.
I am allowed to love myself as others show me, I am allowed to accept praise when others can see.
I am not the loser **** that always breaks through I am a nice person who loves all of you.

Feeling Tired from the day I can't see.
The path that has been gone before once more,
Slowly I resolve to change my design.
But still I know I could not be to blame
Then my heart can only pretend right know.
I am trying to be compelled  once more
To change the way I feel abhorred by you
I can not change what you have laid to waste
You may feel that you're are being chased away
You pushed and ran without explanation,
The more you're asked makes you like an Ostrich
Pain is real and silence is to easy.
Anguish comes from not knowing the real facts
But when the anguish asks you just attack.

You need to change But,
Change is not just coins in pockets
But just as heavy!

I am sorry for today
I did not get to even play.
My plans were taken away
because they called off in trey.

I haven't been able to grieve of
the best friend who chose to leave.

one sixty seven and counting the days of work
A string of time with no time off it really is a thing to irk.
It makes me seam like I am a ****.
But how can coffee even perk with out a rest from a day at work.

When you try to figure out why sorry is the things that is why.
I am sorry I lose my friend because it seems my work can not end.
I am sorry I cant say no it make my life a freak show.
I am sorry that I am left alone and sad with happiness pretend.