I feel all eyes on me,
searing into my flesh,
as I break into a cold sweat.

I'm a bundle of nerves,
jangling like pins and needles,
chest completely sealed up.

My heart's in my mouth,
skipping a beat or ten,
about to near my wits' end.

Butterflies rush through
the knots in my stomach,
my skin crawling with bugs.

My legs feel like jelly,
my boots quietly quaking,
there's no mistaking it,

I'm hanging on tenterhooks,
at the end of my rope,
about to lose all hope.

As I go back home,
hoping for some respite,
the only thoughts in my dome,
are of tomorrow's plight.

It's nothing but a friendly smile
Then why am I still up at night?
Just her way of being nice and polite
Then why doesn't it leave my mind?
She likely forgot about it a minute later
Why is my mind still buzzing like a pager?
She already has a billion suitors
My presence means little to her
Yet the thought returns like a looper
Whether together we could have a future
She's focused on her work and nothing else
Yet I wonder if her heart could melt
In all honesty, to me, she's just a really pretty face
I'm just projecting my desires on a blank slate
I don't know what she's into or what she loves
I don't know what she hates or what she thinks *****
I don't know what she wants out of life
Only reason for my obsession is that smile
I already have my problems I barely keep at bay
Why do I fixate on something I'll never attain?
Even if she's all I have made her up to be
Am I anywhere close to someone she needs?
I'm certainly not a great catch myself
Ain't got much to display on my shelf
And I'm not the only one lining up
Many others here looking to be the one
Despite my rational mind screaming 'no way'
I'm still up late looking at her photo again
They say a picture's worth a thousand words.
I find the thought to be patently absurd.
To think a million terms could possibly describe.
What my racing heart feels when I see her smile.

It's not about what you do
It's about how you spin it
Even if the actual truth
Gets a bit shifted and twisted

You aren't bullheaded or stubborn
Just doing things your own way
It won't work for all others
But you and them ain't the same

Your failures aren't defeats
They're foundations for future victories
Even through the same mistakes repeat
Throughout your personal history

You don't have any addictions
Just some harmless predilections
You can  always quit them tomorrow
After this one last swallow

You are never in wrong
The world is always at fault
Even through all your afflictions
Happen to be self inflictions

If ignorance is bliss,
Then delusion truly is
As great as pie in the sky
So what's a few convenient lies,
To soothe your uneasy mind

It's not about what you do
It's about how you spin it
Even if the actual truth
Is replaced by complete fiction