We are lilacs in bloom.
We're conceived, then born,
then begin the rest of our lives.
Without love, we will have no
fragrance.  Without love,
humanity will not become
a bouquet of goodness.
Without love, the perfume
of kindness will not waft
through our years;  no sweetness
will we taste. Let us therefore be
lilacs in bloom so we can share
our world in peace, so love can
permeate all lives.

TOD HOWARD HAWKS

Maggie was my mother, my emotional mother.
She came into my life when I was in third grade.
She and her husband, Floyd, lived in the apartment
on the third floor of our house. My biological
mother was too depressed to be my emotional mother.
She spent every afternoon taking a nap from 1 to
4:30 and watched TV by herself in the living room
from 7 p.m. to 1 a.m., then went upstairs to her own
bedroom and read detective paperbacks until about
3 a.m. So Maggie always fixed breakfast--two poached
eggs, grits, and two toasted and buttered slices of
wholewheat bread--for me every morning as I grew up.
Maggie also washed my ***** clothes, spanked me
when I need a spanking, and hugged me when I
needed a huge. I have never forgotten the time when
Maggie (I have no memory of my biological mother
ever being in my bedroom when I was in it) brought
me lunch when I was sick in bed with a cold, along with
an ice-cold bottle of Squirt. I remember loving the taste
of Squirt, which, for some unknown reason, I had never
tasted it before, nor was I ever going to taste it again.
Many, many times I would go up to the apartment around
dinner time when Floyd had gotten home from working
at the Santa Fe shops, knock on their door, and invariably
Maggie would say "Come in," even as she was cooking
dinner for Floyd and herself, because she knew it was
Tod. I sat with Floyd at their small kitchen table and
talked to him about, among other things, who we each
thought was the better center fielder, Willie Mays or
Mickey Mantle. I felt at home with Maggie and Floyd.
The two took my two sisters and me on occasion to
the drive-in to see a movie in their old car. What fun!
Maggie, a Black who had grown up in racist southern
Texas, was illiterate, but I was not conscious of it when
I was so young, and when I got older and knew Maggie
couldn't read or write, it didn't matter to me at all.
Maggie could love! That was the important thing.
I always felt loved when I was with Maggie. And Floyd,
even though he thought Mays was better than Mantle,
remained my friend for along time after Maggie had
passed away.

TOD HOWARD HAWKS

If you had been there in the beginning,
if you had gathered round a fire with others,
if, in your primitive language, would one you
had said to the others, "I wish sharing among us.
I wish no hurt or harm to any of you. I wish for
warmth when it is cold. I will lie with the one
I favor if he touches my face. When we hunger,
we will throw our spears only at four-leggeds
we will eat. I love all of you. You are my brothers
and sisters." All kissed the stars, then fell asleep.

TOD HOWARD HAWKS

It's 4:36 in the morning and you are lying beside me asleep.
The room, of course, is dark. I've been awake for a while now
thinking about things, things like the concatenation of wars
throughout millennia, men following orders from Generals
to **** other men, the corruption that has pervaded so many
facets of our lives, of the billions of human beings who were
not loved enough, if at all, when growing up. The world has
been turned inside-out for eons. Been thinking how to turn
the world rightside-in. And then I turn my head and look at
you and instantly realize the solution to world catastrophes.
Love. It's love, and only love, that can save the world, and all
living creations on it, from self-destruction. Bless your heart,
my dear. I lean over and give you a gentle kiss--gentle so that
I do not disturb your peaceful slumber.

TOD HOWARD HAWKS

If I touch your rosen cheek,
if I pour your golden hair
upon my face to bury it in
brilliant glow, if I place the lips
of yours upon my own and
leave them there forevermore,
if I press my finger now to
your neck of silk to begin
an endless journey down your side
unbridling all to bare beauty
to behold, if I told you what I
see, if I told how it makes me feel,
you would think me crazed and
amazingly your thoughts be true,
so lean your head on pillow blue
and I shall make love to all of you,
then afterwards again and again.

TOD HOWARD HAWKS

Played catch with me once
(as in "one" time)
Never had a conversation with me.
Never said he was proud of me.
Never asked me how I felt.
Had three letters typed
by his secretary sent to me
in the seven years I was at
Andover and Columbia;
the word "love" was typed.
Never  said he loved me.

TOD HOWARD HAWKS

If I touch your rosen cheek,
if I pour your golden hair
upon my face to bury it in
brilliant glow, if I place the lips
of yours upon my own and
leave them there forevermore,
if I press my finger now to
your neck of silk, to begin an
endless journey down your side
unbridling all to bare beauty
to behold, if I told you what I
see, if I told how it made me feel,
you would think me crazed and
amazingly your thoughts be true,
so lean your head on pillow blue
and I shall make love to all of you,
then afterwards again and again.

TOD HOWARD HAWKS