Heart beating
Heart bleeding
Hand shaking  
stone cold as ice
i cant see
it hurts to even think i once loved you
and you left me.
Yet i stand with tears rolling down my face I fight for you to love me and you kept saying you do But you didn't.
All i want to know is why did you you lie to
why did i let you hurt me.
I held on so dam tight i couldn't see
what was right in front of me.
You were married to all the hoes in the streets you didn't give a dam about me.
Just like everyone else you used me and lied and you left me.
why did i think you were any different
why did i believe
You said you were changing to be a better man
son and father to your kids and never said anything about a better man for me.

i stood by you even when you tried to push me away. I am still here fight til this day I have made mistakes yes and i know i can do better but you don't want me.  So all I can do is say thank you for the broken promises and lies that you told me.

I have so much but feel nothing I am empty never satisfied always alone even when I have someone next to me. I stand tall yet I am falling flat on my face no one to catch me to tell me I will be okay. I forget where I came from because it's better to leave the pass where it lies but in the end we all bleed red when we die.

You left me at my weakest moment I stood by you when you failed and you fell I know you broken soul wont ever change or take my word at the truth nor its best. You hid things from me and I did the same thing. I thought we were better then that , you thought the same thing.  I stayed slight to lesson the pain and when the truth came to light I kept fighting because i am stronger You left because you are weak. They say men are so supposed to be stronger then women but they break and rip just as fast as a rubber band a piece of paper there is no putting them back together. You want the truth women can take more pain then anything but I have had enough. I stand on my own two feet I always have and I will stand strong I will stay focused. Not because of you, but because that is who I am, I am not ashamed I am broken I am hurt and I can breath. I thought i couldn't live with out you and here are a few things. You need to know about me, It  is pain that make me stronger and what make me sing, I am a great writer because i believe. I force myself to love and keep loving because one day someone will love me and i have hope in one day that person who loves me is you.

In The touch of one.
You feel safe with that makes your day a little better.
On who says a simple word gives you a simple smile.
It takes to broken souls to be come one strong heart, Threw friendship comes love, hope happiness and endless laughter.
Because we have shared so much, this my dear I hope one day will fill you heart with happiness as well as mine and we become one. It is not love we fear it is the thought of being alone that hurts. I share with you my inner most thoughts and feeling. Because i thought you were my best friend. Everything changed when you hurt me and it only took one touch. I kept silent and kept fighting thinking things would change. I was wrong and  am still fighting but i can no longer breath. I thank you today and I love you still. I will keep fighting.  Till I can breath again.

Don't touch me, or I will scream.

Let me fall I am bleeding, I scream for you don't save me...

Do as you told...

Here you are you listening and when I need your help you left, I asking you not to help me so that you would as my heart beats out of my chest.
You looked at me and laugh and thought I was kidding when i was saying all of of these things.

You never really loved me it was all a game i see.

As i take my last breath here are my final words even though I know it wont change anything you think of me.

I am Sorry Please Forgive me

I can no longer tell you I love you, It wont fix a thing I can no longer say I am sorry because you do believe me. I am not sure how to fix things if you don't let me I am not perfect and I never will be. My heart is breaking everyday and my heart was once broken to. We are 2 broken souls trying to fix each other because we were lonely we were two uncomfortable souls needing and wanting someone to hold and make us feel loved even if it was only for a moment.  When i was loving you wanting you, you were loving and wanting someone else I knew what you were doing and I allowed you to do so just to feel that for that one moment those few second you looked at me and said babe i love you and I miss you. Then it was right back to being broken and unsafe again until next time you needed me and I needed you to because all we do it work and take care of everyone else when we should have been taking each other instead of take care of each other. Threw good and threw bad I was with you. I still am with you but you don't see it.