I have come to the understanding that it’s an impossibility for another human being to fathom the darkness of my mind.  I can only trust in my infinite creator. Praying that the life He breathed into this mortal body, has served some measure of His divine purpose. Perhaps the births of my children..? I pray He will forgive the rest. How will I exist in depravity with no relent?? I realize that only my savior will reach down and pull me from this pit of muck and mire. My heart is one of stretched empathy for the broken and hurting, knowing, I am in my own prison! Grief and sorrow are my legacy.  I see no enlightenment beyond this moment, this day ..

Oh God where are you?! Am I to stay bound with the links of my own chains.. Oh God, my redeemer! Have you turned your face from me? What sin and shame have I bestowed before you?! How then shall I pray thee? Where will I go from your omnipotence? I cannot,, there is no escape of your love! Waiting to live., to die? Is there forgiveness for me Father?.. I beg of Your merciful kindness, hear me O God..raise my head and lift my heart, My tears have overtaken me.. My eyes are dim Lord., my vision has waned. Ohh Holy God, My Jesus.,, search me in your love and grace.,,Holy Spirit let me know your presence once again. Lest I breathe the dust of the earth. I beseech you my beloved, in your holy magnificence ,..please find me here. Forgive me Lord and let me breathe your life once more.

Even so..,
I will worship You.
I will sing praises to your Name.

Thy kingdom come...
Selah



Written by
Tammy Cocagne
9/23/19
Cry of my heart

This day seems long, much harder than most,
My trust is in The Lord of hosts!
No matter the sting and ALL that it brings,..my King, stays close in all the hard things!
Keeping me here...
so I persevere,
with reverence and sound fear,..
..be it this day or that., it’s all comin’ back. Ten fold.
Holdin’ Him dear, each trial draws clear..,
Just another day near.

Tammy Cocagne
7/23/19

My mind spins, it tumbles,..It roars!
Dear God please show me,??
Should I,,,can I,..shut this door?
Will I shake it.,,,
My thoughts are of you!
What am I to do?!!
How will I make it!!
My heart can’t take it!
I’m captive you see
My hearts mind, and me.
I want more,,..more of You.

It’s all a pipe dream,..
Hope shines through the smoke..

Battlefields to Blessings

My mind is s battlefield. Oh Yes, indeed!
Though, God is my Father and Master of me. Its not just a moment or folly, don't you see?
He has breathed to me life, and He's all that I need.

Yet,.Satan has tried to sift me as wheat!!!
My Jesus abides,..and He never leaves!

He drys my tears, as I search His decree, with trembling and fear I follow His lead.

Blessings will come for all to see. My hope is in You, as I pray and believe. Jesus my savior my God, my King!  It's not by chance, but all given to me. My life is for You,..oh finally I see!
Oh Lord, its you, only you that I seek.

Worship and praise to my Father, I do sing!
Give my voice ear Lord drawing more unto thee!
I will speak each time you give unction to me!

All glory to You
You are worthy, and I am free...

~Dreams never rhyme~

When you feel someone
but his thoughts are not of you..,
chasing,..longing
.. that he’ll feel you too.

Can’t turn it off,
Whats one to do?
Keep pining away,
..for a fresh start anew?

.heartbeat is slow
aching to know.,
his simplest thought
When I know.,,
I will not...

My mind is stunned
disheartened and shunned,
yet my feet cannot run,
..can’t even imagine..,
..nor begin to fathom,
not knowing his love.

Was it all in gest’
Perhaps a test?
Do hearts ever heal?
Oh darlin’ I wonder,
Was it,..is it real?
..just need to rest,
...a long peaceful slumber.
It’s where I still find you.

I’ll think about it tomorrow
Yes, a new day awaits,
..more bittersweet sorrow.
My heart may just break,
I'll pray.., I'll wait.

~Only in time~

Written by
Tammy Cocagne
3/27/19

The sun hangs high..,
the stars still shine!
There’s vision and courage,
..in one more rise..
Good things will come,
....others will go.
God teaches, He delivers, He restores,..
I know!

So I’ll recognize gain and cast off restraint.
It’s all obedience,..
blind trust and chase.
I’ll lift my eyes and
I’ll seek His face.
God help me!
It’s like me to drift,..to always stray!

Tomorrow brings its own pain.
Time passes
It’s all perspective.

Written by
Tammy Cocagne
March 24, 2019