It’s in those hours that flicker between dusk and dawn,
those hours where but a few lone creatures
carry the emotional weight of the world,
that I find myself- with reckless abandon-
pursuing ******* and bards on a one way trip
toward hysteria and decay.
                                            I stand
at the crossroads where the devil purchased souls
back when they were worth something.
‘Cause now the devil has gotten too good;
souls aren’t worth anything if they’re not worth saving.
I shake in rage at how he throws us away,
the ones willing to sell ourselves to him
so we could grasp at the straws of immortality,
and revel in sin for the sake of something
that doesn't matter anymore,
and perhaps never did.

I remember those days, sweating down in Savannah
muggy misery washing over us as we schlepped
across a city that was as hot as hell could be,
yet an angel like you was able to glide
through with no problem, demons all in awe.
Transformed at night into a beautiful disaster
spending all night drinking and dancing,
I carried you home and was by your side,
holding your hair as you hurled throughout the night.

I look fondly back at the cooler moments,
in that air-conditioned museum,
and I remember thinking to myself
the true art walks around the place,
these sculptures and paintings don't know
how lucky they are to be
surrounded by such beauty.

Hands clasped in Forsyth Park,
a sundress simply stunning,
trying to hide weird sweat patterns on my shirt
******* in the gut I've got.
I'm self-conscious, but then get lost
in pale green eyes that chill me.

Nighttime highs of holding you
in ungraceful, crooked arms
are usurped with force by the thrill
of knowing you're safe from harm.

But memories like these are all false,
that trip to Savannah never taken,
all this an exercise in making my own misery.
I have nothing but my realizations,
like realizing that I'm in love with you,
and realizing that I'm thoroughly ******,
for it's agony to fall in love with a friend.

Let this serve as a eulogy for a Love left wanting;
god help me for the pain I've welcomed.

Sitting in the haze of smoke, arranging
thoughts of mine that are so quickly fleeting
and flying from my mind towards my thumbs
as a Dante singing praise of Beatrice,
or a man in black walking the line for June.
With you and misery as my muse, I stumble
to my room, dazed, focused on remembering the words
and the arrangement they first held in my head.
And here I am, a long-haired ***,
a beatnik marching to the beat of his own drum.
This is too much about me, not enough about you,
here’s your spotlight, it’s long overdue.

It’s a frigid night, I peer through the window and
you’re there, wearing ripped jeans, a faux leather jacket,
a punk rocker somehow avoiding cliche.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve
instinctively smiled just at the sight of you, knowing
that for at least a while, in my mind,
all is well.

You reach to give me a hug
and I don’t shy away; I’m not one for hugs,
I don’t even like hugging my mother, but
with you it feels right:
a one-armed hug with a two-armed intensity.
Food is ordered,
seats are taken,
chatting commences.
I don’t particularly like the food; that’s fine,
It’s not the reason I’m there anyways.
I’ll barely remember what you said afterwards
but I’ll always remember how you made me feel.
Even with the brief time we have
we find ways of making it last, after all,
happiness has the longest half life of all emotions.

Like that, it's over, as if a snap of the fingers
is all it takes to lose you. I tell myself
it's better to have loved and lost,
then to have never loved at all.
But that doesn't help in the moment.
In the moment, all I can think of is how I'd ****
to be by your side, for just another minute.

You may wonder why I did what I did,
it was for the many times I've leaned on you,
in my most tortured times you've given me peace,
so it's only right that I give
as much as I can back to you.

Forgive me for lying, but I was afraid
that you might not accept the gift I gave.
Had I kept it, it would go unused,
you have more need for it than I do.

Maybe I'm presuming too much but
whatever happened, I think you've suffered enough.


I hope this world won't
make you jaded and cynical,
that's why I wanted to show you that
there's still humanity left in the world
and if ever there was a person who
deserved the world's kindness and love,
it's you my dear, you deserve it all.

I found heaven on this earthly plane,
it lies in the hours of a gentle night
spent whispering, to not disturb the elders.

A hazy greeting, good food consumed,
A dog barking at the strange people he sees.
A restrained heart throbbing from a rare excitement shown,
A surprise unknown was a sweet green delight.

Returned from the darkness, the haze ever stronger;
for dessert, apple pie, that American treat.
My smile threatening to burst at the seams,
till we bid adieu with long hugs and goodbyes.

It was everything and more than I'd dared to dream,
by far the best birthday I've ever had,
though age has robbed me
of the memories of older ones.

It makes me want to fall to my knees and pray
to a god I don't even believe in
to thank him for bringing you both into my life.

Let these words be your Northern Star,
a beacon in the darkness of night.

Heavy is the head with the noblest of thoughts,
hair laced with forget-me-nots falls
over shoulders that carry Atlas' burden
with a firm and determined grace.

Soaring is the heart
that's lighter than the feather
that Anubis will one day use
to proclaim your worthiness.

Beautiful is the soul
with the purest of intentions;
your soul is truly
god's greatest invention.

Hold on tight when life causes you pain
for it's just its way of teaching you
all the lessons worth learning.

You hugged me once and said
that everything would be ok,
but I'm pretty ******* far from fine
as nothing calms my fragile mind.

Once upon a time we were
as thick as thieves in the dark of night;
now I must seem like a stranger to you,
a forgotten friend you know no longer.

Speaking all in tongues, I land
on the beach of a foreign shore.
where the sand came from the hourglass
that Kronos used to keep time.