Goodbyes are the hardest part
Seeing you walk towards the door
I can feel my heart beat in my ears

You are one step from the door
Everything in me wants to yell
Stop please don't leave me

Silently I scream
I knew that even you stayed
Life would never be the same

Your love left long before you did
For months you were just phoning it in
Your love for me was nothing but fabricated

Even though we are long past
The thought of you takes me back
Can I ever be as happy as I was with you

When I was with you my heart skipped a beat
Butterflies filled my tummy
My mind would race with thoughts

To be with you was all I wanted
Every second of everyday
To just lay in your arms, that was the place I wanted to stay

You're smile was the best part of my day
You're laugh was so amazing I couldn't help but laugh with you  
You're heart was soft and kind that I couldn't help but fall for you

When people talk about falling in love I didn't think it would hurt this bad
I didn't know that falling for you would make my heart break like this
I didn't realize how loving you could break every part of me

In the end I was left questioning myself
Am I loved?  
Am I to much to handle?
Am I enough to make you happy

I questioned the very essence of my being
Loving you turned into hating myself
Something that I will struggle to fix the rest of my life

You made me feel less then what I was
For that is now something that is stitched on my heart
I now have made it a mission to never feel like that again

Because of you I fear love
Because of you I run from commitment
Because of you I know what its like to feel true heart break

Will I ever be able to allow myself to love again
Will this scar on my heart ever heal
Or will I forever be afraid to love with all my heart like I loved you

How is it that I could feel both extremes with you
How could I feel what it was like to truly love someone and also feel complete heart break with them
How is it that you could be the very one to fill my heart and break it

Trust is so fragile so easily broken
Because of that I have not loved as deeply sense you
I have been to afraid to feel heart break

Trust is such a frail thing and because of you I find it hard to trust him
What if he is the one that's supposed to love me forever
What if I'm missing out on so much because of you

I look back on all that we shared
the smiles the laughs the heartbreak and misery and
even though it has come to an end I wouldn't take any of it back

The memories we made are some I will cherish forever
sometimes all it takes is a smell to bring me back
to the times you would hold me so tight

Sometimes all it takes is a word to send me spiraling back
to all the late night talks that we one had
were nothing seemed like it could ever be bad

Sometimes all it takes is a name to send me done memory lane
The way you used to say my name so soft and so sweet
it rolled of your tongue like you were always meant to say it

Even though all of the times we shared are not great I cant help but think about you so fondly
you were once the love of my life and for that reason  I wouldn't take it back
My past with you is what has made me who I am

That is one of the many reasons I want to thank you
The day you broke my heart was the day I became stronger
Because of you I know what love is and what it isn't

When I look into your eyes all I can see is the reflection of her
Her blonde hair and blue eyes stare back at me
Locked in your gaze

How I long to be the reflection in your eyes
To be caught in your gaze
But can I really blame you
Her beauty is undeniable

If you were to look into me eyes you would see yourself
Dark brown hair and green eyes
I feel under your spell
Completely caught in your charm
Your captivating smile makes my heart melt

How is it that I want you when all you want is her
How is it that even though I see her in your eyes I'm defenseless

What does she have that I don't
Is it her light hair
Is it the way she laughs  
Is it her mesmerizing beauty

Or am I just not enough in your eyes
Am I too flawed
Am I too broken
Am I not pretty enough

Reflection is a tricky thing
Occasionally I can trick myself into thinking its my reflection I see in your eyes
That I am the one who catches your eye but that is just deception

I walk past you everyday
Your radiant smile catches my eye
The way you carry yourself is so striking

Do you notice me the same way I notice you
Is my smile enough to have your heart skip a beat
Is my laugh enough to make you smile

When you laugh I feel my heart beat faster
When you look at me I begin to melt
When you drive I cant help but want to ride with you

What is it you see when you look at me
A girl so mesmerized by you
Or will you just look right on through

Maybe we are just passing ships
Never to dock on the shore
We are to continue sailing right on through

They always say distance makes the heart grow founder
Me myself I don't believe that
The distance that separates you from me is anything but cruel

How I long to be near you
How I long to smell your cologne
How I long to hear your heart beat when we hug

I miss hearing they way you say my name
I miss you always being around
Why is it again that this distance must separate use

How I cant wait to see you again
In heaven is where I will see your face
A little piece of my heart is up there with you

My heart will be restored
When I enter into you presence again
Even though I cant feel you I know you are always with me

I grew up reading fairytales filled with happy endings
I believed that when things came to an end I would be happy
But looking back on all the things that have ended all I have is misery

The day you left everyone said I would be fine
but I felt my heart shatter the day you died
Something broke inside me that could never be fixed

I tried so many things to glue my heart back together
I tried drinking away the pain I tried forgetting about how special you were to me
but nothing seemed to work there was this hole I couldn't fill

I would lay awake at night remembering all that you had said
memories floated through my head
Why did you have to leave so soon

You were here one day and gone the next
you were gone in the blink of an eye
you missed out on watching me grow

I often times wonder what it would have been like if you stayed
but then I remember that your not coming back and that hole in my heart shall remain until the day I meet you in the sky

Sometimes endings are cruel and cold
they seal away what you once held dear
and make you shed a tear

There was always something about your green eyes
they always made me think about you and me
Is there something between us or is it all in my mind

There were so many things about you that made me want you
your laugh, your smile, they way you said my name
It really captured my heart. I wished with all my heart to be yours

They way you talked about her was what I always wanted
to her the way you loved her was something that I always craved
To hear you cry over the way she hurt you breaks me

All I want to do is tell you how much I love you
but I know that what help because your still so hurt
all I want to do is hold you in my arms but all you wanna be is with her

So here I am on the phone listening to the way she hurt you
knowing that I can never have you
knowing there is no story of you and me

I am stuck
stuck between two friends

What do I say
What do I do

trying to hold the world together
well I fall apart

I used to get lost in the lights of the night
Now I get lost in your eyes
The way the light reflects off them is so mesmerizing

How they change from ocean blue to an icy shade
How there are little specks of black that float through

Like little ships passing in the night
Such detail is shown in those little circles

I am captivated and cannot look away
Do you notice just how much I stare

Or just how much I would do to make you stay
you have caught my attention

When you told my you liked her I had to pretend
You didn't know my feelings for you so i pressed them deep
I looked at you and told you it was okay

I wanted to run I wanted to cry
but I couldn't let you see me vulnerable because you couldn't know
I couldn't let you know you hurt me

I couldn't let you see me broken
I couldn't let you know that you had caught my attention
because I knew you would try to comfort me

All I wanted was to run towards your open arms
but I knew that I couldn't confide in you this time
so I walked towards the door

I was deflated and hopeless
why is it always my friends
why cant you just look at me and see something worth while

I continued to pretend everything was fine
even when I saw you flirt with her
deep down it was breaking my heart

How is it that you caught my eye?
Was it your gentle heart
or your willingness to serve

Was it your need to make me laugh
or the way you carry yourself so tall
or maybe it was your soft warm hugs were I can listen to your
heartbeat

Or maybe it was your green eyes that captured my attention
maybe it was the smile you always wear
or maybe you just creeped up on me one day

I could get lost in your eyes anytime of the day
I could listen to you talk about cars for hours
I would even sit in the cold to keep you company as you work

Could it be that my heart fell for the very thing I cant have
maybe our friendship is all that is for me
but part of me hopes that you would fell for me what I feel for you

Pressure, Pressure, Pressure
all around all I feel is pressure

Pressure to succeed
Pressure to be the best

Crack, Crack, Crack
the more weight the more I begin to crack

Be yourself but not to weird
Love but don't get hurt

Smile but make sure your happy
Laugh but don't draw attention

How am I supposed to hold my self together
when I feel as though I am about to burst at the seams