I'm not a writer but I felt like i wanna share this.

Created but never been born, sweet little thing…
I did the test at his house and came out positive...
I wasn’t ready but the minute I felt changes in my body, so many emotions were going through me all at once….I didn’t know how to deal with what was going on.. I was happy, confused, scared,
On my unborn child’s death, began my suffering.
I failed to preserve a life, God’s gift that was not wanted…. I am sorry that I was selfish... You were growing inside…I was also growing at that time… Your father didn’t want you but I did and I had a choice… I could have raised you by myself. I wasn’t a woman enough to make my own decision; I let him control me with my body.
What I have done did not only **** you but robbed my motherhood. It’s been 11 years but your soul is still haunting me. I will never forgive myself; I could have given you a chance to live instead I made a choice for you
I’ve always wanted to know if you were a boy or girl. Maybe you could have had your mother’s heart, sweet voice….i don’t know. I wish I can have a picture of how you would have look like.
I hear your voice asking me “My almost mother, you stole my life, didn’t I have a right to live? where’s your heart, I thought you loved me, have you wondered what I would be like, you miss my birthdays, you’ve never heard me talk, seen me walk, felt my tiny feet and my hands, mother I have so much love for you, I doubt you did.

I’m ashamed, angered, guilty… The decision is irreversible… I wish I can be forgiven… I chose me instead my unborn child…
It’s not so easy to write about this.

I can’t forget the physical pain felt when I  killed my child, it felt like my body was being ripped apart…. I’m left with emotional pain….