you were like breathing in
so natural
that i didn't notice i'd done it
until i was breathing out again

you were a part of me like
air in my lungs
a whole part of my body
made just for you

As I breathe in
The air flows through me
Caressing my lungs
With a love and acceptance
Before gently
Kissing them goodbye

Your coat in the hallway
A glimpse of your backpack
The way you walk

Little things I see
That draw me to you
Catch my eye

But not your face
Your lips or your eyes
Those I don't see

Not until I sleep
Where your face haunts my dreams
Like the glimpses haunt my days

my love for you was soft, steady, strong

not passionate, and unpredictable,
     loud, and wild

reliable and safe

grown slowly, smoothly
     not realizing the depth

until I fell

It feels as though there are stones sewn into my heart.
They are not jagged, rather smooth and worn.
There is no pain, no stabbing feelings.
Instead, a weight.
An unbearable load, burden, pressure.
It causes my heart to stretch.
It stretches down, further and further, until,
It starts to tear.
But still, there is no pain.
Nothing is causing me to cry out.
The tearing almost soothes a part of my soul.
It interrupts the numbness just enough to remind me.
I am alive.

The world is a storm.
colorful
loud
warm
I stand here
just on the edge
watching in wonder
as everything spins around
seeming safe and dangerous all at once

I am a storm too.
silent
dark
cold
so different
from the world
and not so easily noticed
sitting in the other storm's shadow
closing my eyes and waiting for the sun