I feel numb.
I don't know what mad is,
what sad is,
what happy is,
what anything is.
I'm just not feeling,
it's worse than anything else
I'm numb.
Just numb, nothing else.
I see my old friends in the hallways and I get nervous,
but confident.
I think of you,
and say I don't care.
I don't even really miss you anymore,
just how we felt.
I think of too many things,
but I still feel my mind being blank.
Can't I just feel and be done with it?
I feel numb,
and I hate it,
but I love it.

Nothing, just numb

Good riddance,
to two people who hurt,
and hurt,
and hurt.
You were my best friend, and because you called my mom a 'stupid ***',
I got mad.
Then you got mad.
And you decided you were done.
You gave a letter to our friend stating "I'm just done with her ****."
Oh, alrighty then.
The next day you came to school.
You had a bag,
one which you handed to me.
One that contained everything I've ever made and/or given you.
Funny though, how it didn't contain items that I bought.
I cried and wrote you a letter.
Saying I was sorry when I did nothing wrong.
Our other friend, Ariana,
told our friend Hailey to "be there for me so I can be there for her."
I asked her about it, she said it was true and with her "condition", she couldn't be there for two people at once.
Yet she can do it any other day.
She moved her seat in class so she wouldn't sit with me, funny I thought best friends were supposed to be there forever.
Alright then, I won't cry over them anymore, seeing as they won't do so for me.
Good riddance then.

I wish I was as fluid as water.
Just drip, drip, dripping.
I wish I could just mold to fit anything.
I wish I was as fluid as water.

I want to be as fluid as water.
Just crashing beautifully.
But also flowing freely.
I want to be as fluid as water.

I will be as fluid as water.
I will flow and bend and crash all at once.
I will love in abundance, but make sure not to stretch too thin.
I will be as fluid as water.

I wish
and want
and will
be as fluid as water.