I can only wonder
What life's plan is for me,
Is the future full of happiness
Or still full of misery.

I understand what pain is
Grief and heartache to,
And I'd like to know what happiness is
No doubt so do some of you.

I often wonder why it is
My life has been so sad,
Not knowing is worse than all the pain
Not knowing is sending me mad.

I don't sleep much at all now
My mind is always on line,
But I know that the answer will come to me
It's all just "A Matter of Time".

I once made you a promise
That I still hold to today,
That if you ever need me
I'll be there night or day.

I could not say "I love you" then
But I can say that today,
From the bottom of my heart and soul
My love will always stay.

Don't think I'm trying to rush you
For that I'd never do,
This poem is just a reminder
Of the promise I made to you.

I have these dancing Teddy bears
Who teach me how to dance,
They show me every movement
Every step and every stance.

As the music forms so beautifully
From some where in my mind,
The world around me fades away
And this is what I find.

The rainbows form so gracefully
With colors so smooth and bright,
My imagination takes me there
When I'm asleep each night.

I wonder if this life of mine
Is worth the pain it brings,
The pain that I've caused others
And the pain that lies within.

I wonder if I would be missed
If I were here no more,
If anyone would grieve for me
Or continue as before.

If you're depressed within your life
And thinking along these lines,
You would do best to seek some help
While there is still time.

For these feelings friend if let build
Will promote your Suicide,
Depressions grip will take it's toll
No matter where you hide.

I never thought I was good enough
To be published in a book,
A poem by Robert Marshall
Hay come and take a look.

Now mum you told me differently
You told me just to try,
To send one to a publisher
And not to be so shy.

So "Teardrops"( for Tabitha)
I sent to them for you,
I am told it's very good
They must have thought so to.

When my eyes slowly open each morning
My thoughts are only of you,
What dreams do I dream when I'm sleeping
Sweet dreams the whole night through.

The sensuous sound of your voice
As it caresses my mind with love,
The gentle caress of your touch
Feather-soft moving down from above.

The soft flowing curves of your body
The sunlit smile on your face,
Your eyes they show my destiny
For my love you hold my fate.

Do you know how much I need you?
Do you know how much I care?
Every waking moment
You're in my thoughts I swear.

And when I am asleep at night
You dominate my dreams,
You've captured my heart in every way
Do you know just what that means?

These questions I can answer
In just one simple phrase,
With every fiber of my being
I love you in every way.

And when this earth crumbles to dust
And our spirits are set free,
My love will still hold true to you
For as long as time can be,

There is a certain feeling
Deep within my heart,
I don't know where it came from
Or how the thing did start.

I only know it's with me
From now till eternity,
And that I'll always love you
Love you endlessly.

The love I have for you
Is buried deep within my soul,
From the moment that my eyes met yours
I started to pay the toll.

This feeling is still growing
A little more each day,
And I cane only wonder
If you feel the same way.

So darling won't you tell me
What your feelings are for me,
So that this heart of mine that's trapped
Can finally be set free.

Two people in love with each other and life
The vows that they made to each other that night,
To love, honor and cherish till death do they part
And live life together with love in their hearts.

Fifty years have past since their wedding day
The love has grown stronger with each passing day,
But enough of the past it's the future that counts
May the love and the happiness for many years mount.

For these two special people we all hold so dear
We wish only the best for each passing year,
So to you Mum and Dad this poem I write
The last fifty years gone may the next be as bright.

The days get ever longer
As our day is drawing near,
Time goes oh so slowly
As my thoughts become quite clear.

To live my life without you
Would never cross my mind,
I'd sooner trap you in my love
Until the end of time.

I could search the whole world over
To find a love so true,
But no love could ever measure up
To the love I hold for you.

If I should die tomorrow
Have I left enough behind?
To have made my life worthwhile
In the way of memories of my time.

Or will I be forgotten
When the earth does cover me,
Or when my ashes get scattered
Across the wide blue sea.

A question often asked
No answer given yet,
But if I was to die
I'd still have few regrets.

My stomach is rumbling my thoughts are a mess
I'm sweaty, nervous and a bit short of breath,
My throat feels so dry my legs are so weak
As if I could not stand on my own two feet.

I'm shaking all over for I'm scared to death
Of speaking to people who seem to be deaf,
I stammer and stutter the words come out wrong
I keep knocking things over so what else could go wrong.

I can't handle speaking to more than just two
So this I will ask you, please don't ask me to,
For I hate speech making that is a fact
Yes I hate speech making so I hope that that's that.

I melt slowly into your arms
As the music fades to the sound
Of our hearts beating as one.
We kiss, as the passion grows ever so
Sweetly in every fiber of our being.
All thoughts disappear in a crescendo
Of want and need as our bodies
Entwine and meld into one.
All our senses are heightened
Till there can be no return.
We have reached a place
Outside of existence.
A place where our souls
Will remain forever in
Love and Harmony.

I loved you when you were born
I love you still in death,
I will love you until this earth
Crumbles to a dusty breath.

I miss you deep within my heart
And pray that when I die,
I will forever be with you
For as long as there's stars in the sky.

But for now I will forever be
In an agony that blinds,
until we are together
You are forever on my mind.

I live in darkness within my mind
For my soul was taken long ago,
Happiness is something I'll never find
For my grief I can never let go.

but your poem tells me there is still hope
On this we both agree,
So through all the grief I will still cope
Until I am set free.

So thank you very much
Your poem means a lot to me,
For something deep within me was touched
And relived my misery.

march 2002 -2003

Even though we've never met
My soul you've made anew,
With the words that you have written
From deep inside of you.

These words they paint a picture
So vivid in my mind,
Of love,hate, peace and war
To which I am entwined.

So to all the poets on this site
I salute you one and all,
For all the verses you will write
Just to pin upon this wall.

For all the colors of a rainbow
Every shade and every hue,
Pale before the wonder
That radiates from you.

I sit here and wonder
What life still has in store for me,
And cringe at the very thought
Of what it could be.

Could it be like the first half my life
More of the same,
I hope not for that would surely
Send me insane.

Could it be like a walk
Along the beach at sunset,
That would be like heaven on earth
To me I guess.

I'll have to take what ever
Is dished out good or bad,
Still my life to date
Has been pretty sad.

Who knows what waits around the corner
Who knows what life has yet to show,
When you travel life;s road you can but wonder
But what is yet to come , well no one knows.

So plan your life and set your goals
To the way you want them,
And set about to to reach them one by one.

Don't be to disappointed if you don't complete them,
As things don't often go to the way we planed.

So enjoy your life and savor every moment
Take pleasure in what ever it is you do,
For we're only on this earth for a short time
And when you die we will remember you.

The cost of losing a child
Bears so heavily on ones heart,
It fills you full of pain and grief
And that will never part.

These feelings overwhelm you
And leave an emptiness inside,
A void that's with you constantly
And there's no where you can hide.

It starts deep down within you
And like a cancer it grows,
Until it does consume you
And there's no place left to go.

So you lock it deep within your heart
And hide behind a laugh,
And hope that no one else can see
What lies behind the facade.

I think of your body so smooth and soft
And your eyes so sparkling bright,
I think of the tenderness in your smile
When we are alone at night.


our love is like the sun and moon
So bright and warm within my soul,
And even when life seems darkest
It survives and makes us whole.

So let our love, warm our hearts
Forever and a day,
Our lives will be just like our love
And grow in every way.

When something hurts within your heart
Think of what I'd say,
Just take things slow don't think to much
Just take life day by day.

I know the reason you are down
But now I can not help,
I can not hold you in my arms
Or comfort you to help.

And so I'll write this poem for you
And hope that I am right,
I hope it helps you just a bit
When your alone at night.

Now Micheal was both our son
And beautiful was he,
But the Lord decided years ago
To take him for some need.

I can not understand it
Or believe that it is right,
To take so small a child
To heaven out of sight.

Maybe it was for a purpose
That the Lord took him away,
I know that he's happy in heaven
And can never be led astray.

But it hurts and the pain is a deep pain
That rises and consumes me whole,
And the hurt that I feel sends me crazy
Keeps me confused so my mind can't take hold.

But I know that life must go on still
So I push the grief aside,
And try to live the best I can
With the hurt that is still left inside.

Life is what you make of it
Or so the saying go's,
The thing that they don't tell you
Is that know one really knows.

No one has the power
To see what the future holds,
No one could ever tell you
If you'll ever reach your goals.

So never put your life on hold
For what someone else might say,
Live life to it's fullest
And live it day by day.

I give to you this day
My love forever true,
The eternal love within my soul
My untold love for you.

So with this golden band
I'll open up my heart,
To show to all my love for you
Is a love that will always last.

And when this life is over
And I'm buried beneath the ground,
My love will still reach to to you
To comfort you when you're down.

This vow does not come lightly
But with conviction and from the heart,
And it comes to you upon this day
When our life as one we start.

The locks are gone
Tears are falling,
The walls are building
I have no more keys.

My mind is blank
All emotion gone,
I'm lost in a place
Where I don't belong.

My heart is broken
Forever lost,
You destroyed "us"
But at what cost.

Will I ever love again
Now that the trust is gone,
Or will I just continue on
Without an emotional bond.

She loves me she told me so
She admitted it to me,
I thought it so but couldn't tell Now
I'm as happy as can be.

My heart is pounding in my chest
My eyes are sparkling bright,
I's put a spring back in my step
Now her love is in plain sight.

The teardrops fall so freely
As my heart aches deep within,
The sense of loss is growing
Till my life, it feels so grim.

It started deep within my heart
Than my soul it screamed in grief,
The loss of someone dear to me
That now I have no peace.

My mind has splintered everywhere
I can't think straight at all,
My life is in a downward rush
But nothing matters any more.

The teardrops fall in showers now
And grief and heartache rein,
For the pain may lesson as the years pass by
But the memories stay the same.

We walk along the beach at sunset
The waves gently brushing the sand,
The clouds, a vivid orange.
The sound of the ocean so soft and calming
We sit on a bench to take in the view
I look at you and see a myriad of colors
Soothingly reflected in your eyes.
I take you in a gentle embrace and kiss
You passionately,
You respond, melting into my arms
Than I awake, in darkness,and realize
It was just a dream.

The grief is still destroying me
From somewhere deep within,
It risers oh so slowly
And causes me to cringe.

I sometimes can not cope with it
As it tears my soul apart,
And I wonder if living is worth the pain
That lies within my heat.

But life is still worth living
So I'll push that pain aside,
And live life to it's fullest
With friends and family by my side.

For there's still so much for me to learn
So much still left to do,
So many things I've yet to see
That I'd love to share with you.

I can not say the things I'd like
Or tell you how I feel,
My heart is cold void of pain
My head is beginning to real.

I'm hurting deep within my heart
My life you have destroyed,
Yet I love you more and more
A confusion I can not avoid.

I do not know just what went wrong
Still I blame it all on me,
I can not hope to get you back
Now I know you don't love me.

Please my love for the sake of the kids
Let us still be friends,
Just put the past behind us
And let the bitterness end.

There is no life left in me
So maybe I should die,
The reason is you left me
And destroyed you and I.

But something keeps me going
From deep within my soul,
And even though its painful
I'll survive within this whole.

For every teardrop that I cry
Is a teardrop meant for you,
For every bit of sadness
Is a sadness shared by two.

For every thought that you're miles away
All I wish for every day ,
Is that soon I'll be with you.

For my life today means nothing
Without you to share it with,
And the loneliness inside me
Makes me wonder why I live.

just your memory will stay with me
From now forever more,
And the hopes and dreams will linger on
Even though you're here no more.

Is there anything I can do
Is there anything I can say,
To help you with your grief
And make the pain go away.

I understand the pain you're in
As I'm there every day,
The grief, well it will never leave
But the pain lessens day by day.

It changes you from deep within
As you lock all emotions away,
You can't get close to any one
For fear of losing them the same way.

For me to let my feelings out
Would be more painful than I thought true,
But now I see it's the hardest thing
I could possibly have to do.

I'm not sure exactly
Whats going on within your mind,
Or if I could delve deep enough
Exactly what I'd find.

But Darling what I do know
Is the love I hold for you,
And pray that you have feelings for me
Deep inside of you.

But if it is just friendship
That you and I can share,
Then I will keep our friendship
No matter when or where.

But I pray that the love that's trapped me
Will also trap you to,
So that we'll both be happy
And never feel blue.

To change the way a person thinks
Takes a lot of time,
So even though I know how much
I need this love of mine.

I'll stand aside and let you go
For your mind now rules your soul,
I hope one day your heart will find
A way to make you whole.

I do love you with all my heart
And that love will never die,
But your happiness is what I want
So please my love don't cry.

Have you ever been in love
Or is it just a goal?
Have you ever had that feeling
Touch you to your soul.

Have you ever wondered
If in true love you'll find,
That very special someone
Who is always on your mind.

Let me tell you this my friend
That feeling is sublime,
It warms your heart right to the soul
And gives you peace of mind.

As I look into your eyes I become lost
In all the wonder and intrigue that lies within you,
And want nothing more than to hold you close
And never have to let you go.
I can only wonder what thoughts your mind
Conceals when you look at this tired old face
Of mine and I pray that there is just a small
Spark of hope for me.
There in it's self lies a question I am unable to ask
As the answer may dash my hopes for all eternity
Or send my soul into Ecstasy for all time .
As I gaze upon your beauty my angels
I see all that life has to offer and more
That I would never conceive the chance
To have for myself.
I have loved you from the moment my eyes
First beheld you and will love you ,
Till time in it's essence exists no more.

I know that you are hurting
Deep within your heart ,
And that you may not want just yet
A relationship to start.

Now I'm not trying to rush things
Or hurt you in any way,
But if you ever need me
I'll be there night or day.

If you were to tell me
That time is what you need,
I'd give to you eternity
If it meant that I'd succeed.

But I can not say I love you
For I don't know if I do,
Yet I know I feel so happy
Whenever I'm with you.

An angel in heaven gave to you her eyes
just to compliment the beauty that radiates from you.

Your hair like that of the goddess Athena's silky soft
flowing tresses of mystic light outlining your beauty.

Your smile fades the sun till it seems like day has turned
to dusk all gray and quiet.

Your skin like velvet to the touch yet smoother than
the finest satin in it's milky white shine.

Your voice like that of a sirens, reaches into the depths
of my mind and brings calm from chaos.

Such is your beauty that it reaches inside my very soul
and holds it captive and I can do nothing to escape it's grip.

As I gaze deep into your eyes I become yours and
yours alone Trapped in love for all eternity.

I'd like to know which way to turn
To start my life again,
It's because I'm still in love with you
That's causing all the pain.

Now time will heal all they say
Well I got A lot of that,
Still I feel I'll need an eternity
Just to win you back.

Until I do I'll blame myself
For all that's come about,
And live my life in agony
Uncertainty and doubt.

You ask me for my fantasies
You ask me for my dreams,
But all I have are nightmares
Dark thoughts that make me scream.

I don't know how you deal
Or even feel about your loss,
I don't know what to say to you
Although I understand the cost.

You ask me how I dealt with it
I'm not sure I ever did,
I locked it away within my heart
And prayed it would stay hid.

Sometimes, not very often
I feel emotions weight,
It reaches up from deep within
And causes me to quake.

A field of dread flows over me
Till I can't think straight at all,
My whole world seems to fall apart
As my body curls into a ball.

Maybe I  do need help with the grief
But I wonder who would know how,
If they haven't been through the same as me
How could they know, how I feel now.

So how do I handle the loss
I wrap it so deep inside,
And I pray that it does stay hidden
Until it's my turn to die.

The softness in your eyes
Tells me you love me,
The gentle touch of your hand
Tells me you care.

The warm smile on your face
Tells me you're happy,
The beating of your heart
Is all I can hear.

The tremor in your voice
Tells me I'm needed,
The beauty in your soul
Fills my heart with joy.

That certain way you look
Makes me so happy,
Knowing every day
You love me more.

I dreamed a dream of Yesteryear
When love was simple and life quite clear,
Whether here or there or anywhere else
The only person that mattered was me myself.

I wondered around this country so fine
Just to see all the different sights I could find,
Not a stone unturned did I leave on my quest
Each new place I went, I thought was the best.

From the green rolling grasslands with it's rivers and lakes
The beauty uncurled like the coils of a snake,
From the fast moving cities to this country's outback
I've been there my friends and one day will go back.

For the wonders I've seen in this country so wide
Has been burned in my memory in a passing tide,
I dreamed a dream of Yesteryear
And as I awoke my eyes shed a tear.

I can't tell you in person
Or even on the phone,
Just how much I love you
And need you to be my own.

Ever time I think about you
Every time I close my eyes,
This feeling won't let go of me
So now I realize.

The love I hold within my heart
Is causing me to say,
I miss you and need you more
As my love grows every day.

For you are my guiding angel
With a fire in her eyes,
You are the light that guides me
To shine through loves disguise.

You are
Forever in my thoughts
Forever on my mind,
You are
Within my memories
Until the end of time,
You are
The light within my darkness
Keeps me calm within my mind,
You are
A very special person
Within this life of mine,
You are
My hope and inspiration
I will love you for all time.