I wake up from a nightmare once again. Sweating bullets and hyperventilating. I look around in my dark, cold room. It takes me a minute to gather myself up. I check to see what the time says; 4:30. Same time I always wake up from the horrific dream. I can't even go back to sleep cause I would just end up in the same place, same darkness, same hell.

He's back
My nightmare became reality
He looks at me with his cold eyes
Going back to that day
The traumatic day
I can feel the pain
Feeling the guilt
Thinking it was my fault
How can he be back?
How could they set him free?
He grins at me
But sinister
Paranoid now
Looking over my shoulders now
He's back
And I can't do anything

I wonder what's it like to wake up and love yourself. To look in the mirror and not want to cry. To weigh yourself, see the numbers and not want to puke. To be with friends and not feel ugly. To go into public and not be so insecure. To go shopping for clothes and not feel fat. I just wonder what's it like to love yourself.