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714 · Apr 2019
Worried
Gary burns Apr 2019
My **** is mostly brown
Liver screams enough
My bowel motion
Is loose

I pour more of my death
It's my only friend
My premature end
Pancreatic dead

My glass is full
My addiction rules
My bed is wet
My heads a mess


It's what it is
The drink
My thrill
The end is upon
Me
My innards
Distilled
687 · Apr 2019
Untitled
Gary burns Apr 2019
It's a dream seemingly
Am a fad unclean
She's air in my tar filled lungs
I spew bile
Cleans my teeth

Rancid sweat
Smells so sweet
***** smells just
The same

My sky is always grey
Her hair is as expected
The drain overflowed
With excrement

She looks at me with
Eyes dripping of love
I look back
And  just know
436 · Sep 2023
The dream
Gary burns Sep 2023
The dreams I have are very rarely shared , as there more that often gone
Before I am fully aware,  
But if your lucky and write one down , a door can open or be slightly ajar, scare you , tear you , open up old scars.
The so called mad ones , the your having a laugh ones , teasing your endorphins,  never last ,
So dream and let it all in , our beautiful brain ,  my enemy,  my friend the maker of cranial scenesThe dreams I have are very rarely shared , as there more that often gone
Before I am fully aware,  
But if your lucky and write one down , a door can open or be slightly ajar, scare you , tear you , open up old scars.
The so called mad ones , the your having a laugh ones , teasing your endorphins,  never last ,
So dream and let it all in , our beautiful brain ,  my enemy,  my friend the maker of cranial scenes
305 · Mar 2019
Thoughts
Gary burns Mar 2019
Its hard
Indulged
Abused
Used
Self
Pity
Broken
Dreams
Overdose
Addiction
Wars
****
Stained
Jeans
Razor
Blades
Open
Vain
What
Have
I become
263 · Nov 2022
Manic
Gary burns Nov 2022
The pessimistic times of solitary emptiness
Hopefully
Open up
The
Next extreme
Bout of
Happiness
257 · Oct 2021
Pain
Gary burns Oct 2021
When your faced with no light at the end of the ongoing tunnel of emptiness and the air you breath feels like it's not worth even taking in anymore I understand, the darkness falls more than the slight glimpses of sun shine , I understand.  Your business is finished on this mortal coil . Ifs and buts can never now be explained , we shall just have to be content with the beautiful memories to cherish  x
254 · Sep 2022
Monday blues
Gary burns Sep 2022
Sunday always with
Monday
Playing
On
My mind
Tuesday
Ain't
Getting
Better
Mid
Week
Wednesday
Leveling
Out
Just
Fine
Thursday
Came
And
Went
The
Time
Not
So
Much
Playing
On
The
Friday
Coming
Round
Guess
It's
All
Worked
Out fine
240 · Feb 2019
Chance
Gary burns Feb 2019
Dont **** on the only fire that gives you heat , add some fuel , let it grow again , inhale the smoke but just enough , hopefully your lungs wont get scarred ,  but if they are scarred again, at least you tried ..
238 · Sep 2022
Not yet
Gary burns Sep 2022
Soon I'll be dead and rotting in the ground or Ash that was once there on  well kept swept forgotten floors.
When I say
Soon I don't mean literally , heavens above,  you ain't getting rid of me .
Stooge like relics preaching propaganda ,  wave my wish like wand and calm ya .
Carry my banner
With nothing exclusive
On
It
The day to day is
All
I request
From it
215 · Mar 2019
End
Gary burns Mar 2019
End
I cut the cut again
The blood ,i bled
Noise in my head .
Gasping for air
My cutting chair
Iron scented liquid
Encroaching the floor
My life was mine
I ask for no more
214 · Sep 2023
Just love
Gary burns Sep 2023
Love is a strange old thing , I've loved , gave love , had love, accepted love , and thrown it away,  
Hate on the other hand has never come easy , I've tried to hate , but it's not really in me,  I've probably been hated , although I've never really felt it .
Love has always been my over active factor , hate was only ever a minor distraction x
213 · Feb 2022
The morro
Gary burns Feb 2022
Hey sometimes I'll call you lately,  Another pain in this body hurts , I've been dreaming about the morro and everything just works,  wake up in the morning,  the smell of your being , got to be better than these drugs x
206 · Dec 2023
Song
Gary burns Dec 2023
Well i dont hear the blackbird anymore
She aint speaking to Charlie no more
The bus has left,the poem now bereft, still nirvana.
Featherless
200 · Mar 2019
The illness
Gary burns Mar 2019
Wake up
Full of dred
Head to the sink
Which is then fed

Bile mostly
Tap runs
*****
Dispersed
Last nights
***


I
Reach
To my saviour
The
One i know
Best ,
My 9%
Godsend
I love him
The best


An hour passes
I start
Feeling
Ill
The cramps in my stomach
The fever is real

No money
To fix this
My head
Full of dred
The perfume
I bought her
Is drunk
With intent
196 · Feb 2022
Time sliping away
Gary burns Feb 2022
I can barely bring myself to listen  to the music I love so much , the pain it brings , thoughts of distance things , open air scent memories,  a crippling unease of wasted dreams

Another person in the soil no face no name to speak of
Just a heap of digging and planted no saving grace, the wilted flowers now all but gone ,
It's cold and wet now , the dark sky's turned grey to black , I lay beside them , on the fresh mound I mourn,
184 · Feb 2019
Just life
Gary burns Feb 2019
Its usually the same
Our dreams never came to much , but just enough.

Your dead end job its always killing you
You get up and dress
and let it take a bit more.
From you

I do go through the endless graft to make the coin again  the humdrum ruler takes most whats his slice  .

Go try life your dream even the one time you escaped.
Go breath it once dont be a afraid to fail

Got try that life .i no people  that just die
184 · May 2022
Just time
Gary burns May 2022
I met the devil, halfway down the stairs, he asked me politely if I was ready for down there.
I've been down there up stairs, I've been down in the mouth, I've searched every level and come undone, walked the weary road searching for fun, drove a car picked up bums, spilt blood from bleeding gums, flung out my arms in need of someone, looked up to the soul starved sky, found nothing in return.
I'll just take your stairs your burning love, it's seemingly for ever, I've had worse above
158 · Mar 2019
Morning's
Gary burns Mar 2019
My skin is crawling with insects
My mind is begging
My legs are swollen
Am full of loathing
Shop is calling
My saviour
My ill

I open my first
The endless
Ritual my thirst
The insects
Now gone
Habitual
Quenched
Lust
156 · Feb 2019
Untitled
Gary burns Feb 2019
Ive drunk from the bottom,  it made me undress,  ive drunk from the top and wore a nice dress, ive drunk with them all , and mostly the best , my name is gary and  slowly confess...
.
**
151 · May 2019
Untitled
Gary burns May 2019
I am so lonely
Yet
I
Can't
Be
******
With
Company
148 · Jun 2021
Love
Gary burns Jun 2021
Your veins
Like old yellow
Doc
marten laces
Your smile
Places we laid in
Your touch
Always the taste of
Sweat on our trade ins

Pleasure was seemingly
Empty embraces
Drowning on our
Over indulgence
Your habit and mine
Distilled of the finest

Sweet dreams
The fix that would fix us
Left you cold
Kissed air to your lungs
Now your gone
I ask for forgiveness
138 · Mar 2019
The old piss
Gary burns Mar 2019
I just took a ****
It had a stench
Of scarred
Liver.
I opened
Another
Turned
The
Mirror...

I
Slipped
And clawed
My
*****
Is
Brown.
My fecall
Matter
Matters
Not
Now...

The
Yellow
Of skin
Is
Oh
So
Clear.
Ive
Gone
To
Far
Now
My
Wish
Is
Here .
135 · Jul 2019
Untitled
Gary burns Jul 2019
******
Emotionally
Emotionally
******
131 · Feb 2019
Not sure
Gary burns Feb 2019
Rebel into a life so free

Pic
Out
The
Bits
Of
Pleasantry.

Indulge
In
Nothing
Much
Its
All
Hypocrisy
130 · Oct 2022
Still
Gary burns Oct 2022
Wealth  Wealth  wealth
And the constant Need for it , I could have it all , all that it gives, but place me in an empty room within my mansion of greed filled dreams,
I am still left unfulfilled
With the same inner thoughts
With nothing
Much changed
128 · Aug 2019
Dry
Gary burns Aug 2019
Dry
The rain falls
On thirst encroached
Dirt

It saviours it
Like my first
Drink of the day

The wet
The quench
The waiting is over

The cracks
Grow  closer again
Revitalized

My dry brain
Welcomes fluid
Along with my nerves

Its dry again
My money spent
116 · Sep 2022
Pen to paper
Gary burns Sep 2022
You write your whole soul on a
piece of paper , only to discard it in the bin moments later , move on try again   open your innermost thoughts trying to  get it down .
This whole process can leave you bare and empty
Emotionally drained , spent , struggling for rent
Food and the
Essential
Substances
That push the pen
114 · May 2022
Untitled
Gary burns May 2022
Brain going at 100
Miles
Per
Hour
Can ya feel the
Need for
Unadulterated
Shock
Therapy
Power
Dull your pain
Girl
Sweet scent
Burning
Flowers

Open
Range boy
Showering
Your
Dreams on another

Pistol wipped
Creaming
Covered
In
Man made leather
106 · Feb 2020
Looking out
Gary burns Feb 2020
Iook from my window at nothing much , the widow that passes with her tartan trolley is a daily acurence,  her face mostly the same until she returns,  

The ten o'clock people pass in a rush needing there fix well ***** buzz . The empty soul that walks by , no one nos his story seemingly just shy .

The rain falls but thats outside , i look from my Windows am safe in here watching life go by  ,
The widow returns she is now wet and not dry ,her trolley not as full now with no partner a tear in her eye
106 · Sep 2022
You
Gary burns Sep 2022
You
I miss the summer freckles on your face , your chorus like voice
Upped
My pace .
The scent you gave off, when you  graced my place ,
I'll be forever waiting
For these days again .
Memories are just a part of time , but our Memories
Keep me in line .
The freckles on your face , the scent that still won't fade,
Just about keeps me by your side
105 · Feb 2022
My nemesis
Gary burns Feb 2022
Don't come round here ******* on my parade , with your swollen liver scented *****,
Feel free to abuse me and and all that goes with it , I'll take it all in,
Sweep me under your thread bare carpet , the one with the cigarette holes in .
Get me beaten to within in an inch of my light , but I ain't putting you down My sweet bottle I do belive were bonded for life ,
You gave me some pleasure in the beginning this is true , but the misery you bring now ain't nothing new,
I weep for forgiveness as I open you once more ,knowng  again you've got a taste for my soul,  
So i ask once again down on my knees , please release me dear bottle or lay me in peace
105 · Aug 2021
Fate
Gary burns Aug 2021
Well am still on this road, that holds no gold , just a *** of sour memories,
The more I search , there is no help just people with false dreams.
I drunk them dreams took em too the streams of unfashionable places to be ,

Got wrote off tore off drunk some more of the jailer I called queen .
Layed my head down sought the liquid crown , and that was the end for me.
Or so I thought
Till I lost the plot in a small town just of the Ochiltree  vally.
Queer folks rambling,  trading anything for gambling , drinkin gut rot home stilled unpleasantries,
I picked my way , from this  darkest of  days and now lie in my wooden box regardless
103 · Sep 2022
Sorrow
Gary burns Sep 2022
It really was the most unpleasant of days,  my close friend had had enough.  Well he hadn't but his body called time up . It was winter 96 , he had no family as such just the bums the port wine eternity the poor ladies of the night .
The paupers funeral was attended by very few , the cold that day probably took a few more empty souls . I stood front and centre said my final goodbyes then proceeded to the nearest liquor store bought an quart of white port an eighth the cheapest whisky and indulged my sorrows on the coldest of that empty winters day
101 · Jun 2021
Hard year ,full of tears
Gary burns Jun 2021
My story is without repent
The green of new growth
Puts joy in my otherwise
Dead soul .
The dandelion that serves
Our servants, gets cuts down with haste
It serves us well
Hopefully no ****** beds .

The smell of fresh cut grass sure is nice .
But the  little fellows , the beasties are our rice , no lovely coloured trouperdour , with silver rizla thin wings  ,

Lost souls that we still have to celebrate
Never forgotten,  there waiting in the fly like wings , the curtain open , your with us again
101 · Sep 2021
The last stop
Gary burns Sep 2021
Rain rain , sun burns , wind , the train that might stop at the stop that stops me .
Fun in the heat
Drags , smoking cheap ***** like baccy was just fine , clouds over am nearly smiling again .
Bus to shitsville I don't care , the stops look mostly the same , the shops sell mostly  the same , I never got off the bus , i was going no where and probably back to my illness anyway.
Sunshine again , the humans got of and took in the the same middle town sights, I took more of myself prescriptions  , went to the  toilet on the coach, not  a lot happened  , a slight passing of *****
There now all back on now and the next stop is  definitely get off place , tall trees green grass  high bridges and another small cafe , with lost people just like me x
98 · Aug 2021
Bar fly
Gary burns Aug 2021
The yellow straw like bleached hair suitable to her look was just fine ,
The bar was mostly empty , just lost souls, the stale smoke and stale smell of un washed folks staring into empty glasses , waiting to be filled again strangly made me feel welcome.
As I approached the bar the tender asked what's your poison , just a beer and a shot of your cheapest liquor , I savioured both glasses and asked for just one more double of the cheap liquor.
As I drank it down
My cramps now gone , again it was up to my liver .
96 · Feb 2022
Saviour
Gary burns Feb 2022
I look out the nicotine stained ]
I look out the nicotine stained
Window at the now defunct Church,
Once a place of worship now just drowning in drugs, a place for a fix, to fix thing again, until you Need to be better again,
The once majestic hero of all Christian faith, looks down on his flock and sees pain once again, the new messiah appears, he gives out his wears, there his flock now selling them misery and tears
92 · Jan 2022
Aging
Gary burns Jan 2022
I remember being able to fly like a bird directly to the sun with no thought that it would burn me , being the dew on the lawn with no thought of evaporation,  the grain of the corn with no fear of harvest,  I've grown older now , no longer without fear , the fear I fear most now is daily in here ..
91 · Jan 2022
Struggling
Gary burns Jan 2022
when alcohol gave me a sence of belonging,
The warm glow, the ever present flow of indestructible self belief.
The promised land was the 10 o'clock tram to a place of self destruction.
No blame layed at her door although it was mostly open . I tred on open sores , head telling me more, knowing they've drawn my final curtain.
I promise once again to the voice inside my head, this poison can't be the solution
90 · Aug 2023
Life
Gary burns Aug 2023
I am a disposable unit, I'll play the game then be gone.
Am just number,
In a endless march
Gone wrong.
A piece of degradable garbage, a slum tenement,  forgotten.
A new build replaces the old, the old just memories that shall soon see the last dawn .
It's just an ongoing process of processing old for new , morning then night , now yesterday no more .
Am a flash in the pan , a swan vesta, fuel in your car . I hope  I'll  be remembered for just who I am . X
90 · Dec 2021
Untitled
Gary burns Dec 2021
Insanity profanity,  anxiety unstable , mind unable , can't walk no time to talk, knee **** reaction to a basterdised can't work out fraction,  a faint glimour of glamour  , life brung to an abrupt end , Peter Sutcliffe,  ball "pain" hammer
88 · Jul 2021
Youth
Gary burns Jul 2021
The belvidere tar ,was soft , picked at with intent ,
Sour leafs often tasted , but never quite ingested
The sap of the finest dandy , seemingly made for a leak in your bed ,

When elvis died,  my first memory of music pain , his Saturday crap movies set a standard,  it was rock n roll, I am not ashamed,

Then punk rock playing from another room,  my dearest brother, oh **** by the buzzcocks,  a new sonic boom .

Music  from the pistols to the bee gees and Handel,  its makes me what I am ,from the summer of 77 tar stained blue sandals
86 · Dec 2020
Hurt
Gary burns Dec 2020
The ***** matter like stepping stones , could be the bairns , the dug or the cat next door,  **** oot working for her first fix , the bairns be fine , there's 3 day auld milk in the fridge . The trick is done the medicine scored , heat up her spoon , slowly dissolved, that brown rush oh powder now makes her feel norm , the endless task only start of the day , she loves her kids really but the kit that she craves , trying her best wondering how she ended up this  way
80 · Dec 2023
Gut shot
Gary burns Dec 2023
I reach out from the waters distilled
A preacher just shot me
My innereds aint thrilled
I put out my hand and reach for my lord
Two 45 bullets
Then he was gone.
Now the pain a feel its working real deep, am bleeding so bad am eternally leaked. I look up above the sun is real low,  i say my fairwells and pleasantly go
79 · Aug 2021
Escape
Gary burns Aug 2021
I just don't know  what to do with myself,  so I've taken to living in a shell.
The stench is putred
But it's my new crustaion, away from the nation and people who give me unease , I'll stay here alone in this new home,  survive on the slime on the walls just fine, The previous resident left me
77 · Jun 2021
Doubt
Gary burns Jun 2021
I spend endless hours
With questions no
Answers,  my brain
Not easing , should
Be this way that way
So confused my heads
Feels  naked unsure
Habit forming mess

I do look at our planet
I also try look after oor garden
Although jackie has made it
The smell from her planting
Our bees are not stressed

So as I look from my window
With a half ****** head
I am generally encouraged
With whatever life gives .me next
75 · Feb 2022
Controled
Gary burns Feb 2022
The bleach can only wash and disperse the accumulation the dirt and grime you pick up in the day to day
The stuff that gets in your pours and under you skin not so easy
You purge yourself from the inside out hopefully the feeling of flilth will go away .
But your trapped  nothing is shifting this abuse you've endured on the day to day,  
If you could bottle it up anymore you could  sell that misery, you tell yourself there's only one ticket out , but the ticket is for your abuser stamped no return.
You've controlled my being for so long if I don't act now I fear I'll be forever gone 💔
62 · Feb 19
Untitled
Gary burns Feb 19
She was like a sunset on a **** shaped piece of sand
A picture of health,no card dealt by then .
The sky blue
The new you.

Over and over again its madness., this post procrastination.

Live your life heady one it really is not lasting
58 · Jun 30
Bleak
Gary burns Jun 30
They feed me thiamine,  to stop the rot .
Alcoholism dementia , memories all but lost .
Desperate measures,  in Desperate times
Starving misrepresented peasants , in modern binds
Fake or fortune,  love not hate
Childhood trauma  to navigate  

Open sores bleed  it out, paint a pictue if in doubt , crazy times with fent cut lines , death all over , waisted lives
Channel hoping in rubber boats , bloated children wash up on shores , bombs a popping everywhere,  seems everyone is unaware,  humanity spent , its come undone,  what a crock of **** we've  become
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