Im trapped between what I can be
And a reckoning
A moment in time where every second that passes literally makes waves in the folds of what is to come
The waves come in batches
Of high and low tides
Where at once you can be drowning in a sea of smiles
Or risking your life against the storm

The distance felt between what could be
And what is
Is felt amongst ten thousand vibrations

Where you don’t believe the words that are told to you
Where you can stare love in it’s face and feel nothing
I feel nothing but an overwhelming sorrow
But how can I grieve a loss I’ve never known
How can I grieve a loss
How should I grieve you
In the past I’ve gained insight and reason
Of the paths I should have gone
Yet here I am standing in the vast nothingness
Of a blank white page
Where for miles I can echo
And nothing but the wind will return my cry
I’ve given myself closure
Where at present there was none
How can I close this
Close you
Close us
If a part of me wants to know what could be

Do you believe there is love amongst the souls?

Do you believe in a reuniting connection so powerful that silence can not summon its voice?

Sounds foreign.
Sounds to me like a fantasy awaiting to be written against the pages of a storybook.
Bonded to an open and shut story.

It would be a lie if I told you I was seen.
I feel like a secret. Like a mistress.
Like someone who is there for right now.
I don’t feel valued.
I don’t feel appreciated.
I don’t feel your warmth.
I don’t feel.
You’re touching me in all the right places. You make love to me as sweet and innocent as a child’s first kiss.
Yet I don’t feel you.
I don’t feel you.
I am invisible. Hidden.

The love I know of speak volumes amongst the heavens.
It echoes in the miles of this earth. Blinded to the worlds cruel dark places.
The love I knew of is light.
It shines brighter than a thousand stars.
It does not drown.
It does not conflict.

I feel invisible in this prison of a relationship.
Where all I want is to be seen and heard.
Maybe even set free.

Maybe we don’t really know what love is
Love becomes so jagged like the edges of a hunters knife

That once felt, you’re piercing your heart with the same edges that pierced your back
You look down to see a pool of your own blood lying at your feet
And the same weapon you thought you secured
Is now pointed at you
In your own hand