A Mother Knows
A mother knows, when you are frustrated from the little things of your hair not setting right to the important things, wondering why do I really need to go to school and will I ever get Math.
A mother knows when you are hurting as you lash out because you want everyone to understand your pain and what you’re working through it,
A mother knows when your heart is broken but mending as you cry away your frustration from the one who seems to play the victim in the pain that he helped create.
A mother knows that you have great friends around you who though may not always agree let you vent because it’s want you need to get past it.
A mother knows that that though you may not see it yet, you will be the stronger for this journey.
A mother knows because I’ve walked your path in another life.

Juanita Beltran, Author

Still Will I Ever Love You

We will argue and make up, still will I ever love you.
We will always have different views in life, still will I ever love you.
We will not always agree on your choices or direction you take, still will I ever love you.
Wherever life takes you, still will I ever love you.
Whatever you choose to do or be in life, still will I ever love you.
No difference in opinions or world views will change how important you are in my life. Still will I ever love you.

Mami

One Wish
If I had one wish,
I would do it your way
If I had one wish,
I would make my bed everyday
If I had one wish,
I would hang up that coat your way
If I had one wish,
I would take out the trash on your command
If I had one wish,
I would take off my shoes and relax your way
If I had one wish,
I would wash the dishes your way
If I had one wish,
I would pick up my shoes and put them away your way
If I had one wish,
I would clean my room your way
If I had one wish,
I would want that moment when you laughed so unexpectedly just because
If I had one wish,
I would want that hug you gave just because, they came so unexpectedly
If I had one wish,
I would want that kiss you gave me to wish me good luck, which made me say wow I must have done something right
If I had one wish,
I would ask my lord for that miracle that would bring back home to us.

Juanita Beltran, Author

Promises

Promises of love feel like always being wrong
Promises of love feel like never being understood
Promises of love feel like being taken for granted
Promises of love feel like being treated like my views don’t matter
Promises of love feel like being told how I can’t do anything right.
Promises of love feel like being told one thing and their actions speaking in leaps and bounds
Promises of love feel like being excluded from a clique that I was born in but not allowed in
Promises of love feel like loneliness in world of family who don’t seem to want to be in the same room as you.
Promises of love feel like, cutting loose the dead wood in a toxic situation
Promises of love feel like understanding that this imperfectly broken beautiful child of God cannot please everyone.

Family Views

You are the stupidest person.
You are a **** up.
You are the weakest link.
You are a ***** up everything.
You always play the victim.
You never listen.
You alway misinterpret everything.
You are stuck in your own little world.
You think the whole world is against you.
You are not talked too, as to avoid drama with you.
You talk to me like a child
You talk down to people at work I was shocked that it was you.
You hadn’t paid your rent in a year no one handles their finances like this
You lied to mom and told her I never called to check up on you
I called you all the time.
And this is what my family thinks of me,
One has wrong information
Two have long lived in the past that I’m not sure there is any coming back but here’s hoping and praying.

Close your eyes,

Now imagine you are an immigrant family who came to America to improve your situation.

Eyes still closed?

Now imagine your family working odd jobs any jobs to improve their situation.
Eyes still closed?

Now imagine your family has grown and have children and are working to improved their situation.

Life has moved on, wars have gone and come. The wall in Germany was torn down uniting that country and the World.

Civil Rights did happen. But you might not know they way History repeats itself.

America has gone through 45 presidents. Our first black president made history, Yes 44 is still missed today.

Eyes still closed.

Now imagine your   children’s children have outlived you and working hard to improve their situation.

Eyes still closed?

Now imagine it is 2019 we have a president who has no clue what it is to struggle to make ends meet, pay bills, put food on the table, make the rent or mortgage.

Who wants to revert back to the days of Germany and build a wall to  separate families, to keep families out who are wanting that American life they hear so much about.

Eyes still closed?

Now imagine ICE agents have come to your families doors to deport them as to tell them they are no longer welcomed in America.

Their years of serving this country meant nothing and their years of building businesses and paying taxes now gone.

Now imagine their children being put in camps like the days of Hilter and not being cared for and some dying.

Wait now open your eyes! What do you see?

It’s our reality today.

Juanita Beltran

I’ve been told I am the most stupidest person,
I’ve been told I’m irresponsible.
I’ve been told I talk down to everyone like they are children,
I’ve been told I always turn things around so that I am the victim,
I’ve been told I don’t know how to communicate or talk to people.
I’ve been told that I always tell folks everything
I’ve been told I am antisocial
I’ve been told I make people feel unwelcome
Ive been told I always misinterpret the points trying to be made
I’ve been told that I think my daughter does no wrong and tells no lies
I’ve been told I think my daughter is perfect— well I will own this as God does great work.
One would think I can’t be the only imperfect person with flaws.
The word is clear last I checked, Let those who have not sinned cast the first stone.
My mom told me when she left this world how things would be,
How right she was, I doubted and assured her she would be wrong.
You see I had more faith in the end result.
I believe God makes no mistakes in who our families are or will be.
To bad for me my family hasn’t gotten there yet. I seem to somehow be the unmatched puzzle piece to their group.

Promises of love, feel like always being wrong.
Promises of love, feel like never being understood.
Promises of love, feel like being taken for granted.
Promises of love, feel like being treated like my views don’t matter.
Promises of love, feel like being told how I can’t do anything right.
Promises of love,feel like being told one thing and their actions speaking in leaps and bounds.
Promises of love, feel like being excluded from a clique that I was born in but not allowed in.
Promises of love, feel like loneliness in world of family who don’t seem to want to be in the same room as you.
Promises of love, feel like, cutting loose the dead wood in a toxic situation.
Promises of love, feel like understanding that this imperfectly broken beautiful child of God cannot please everyone.