it’s a strange feeling

to adjust a pair of eyes

to the sight of anyone else but you

when they’d gotten so used

to being wide awake

pupils sprawling

at every magic glimpse

so they start to look for you in spaces that you won’t appear

even though they know this well

too well

and sometimes

in their crueller moments they like to hit me

in the gut and tell me you’re there

and sometimes you are, nearly

and that’s the point

nearly

almost

but really, nowhere close

and that’s how it is now

nothing comes close

they’ll kid my heart again

and I’ll learn to laugh back