I sit in silence.

This Never ending pain.

Where the dark clouds follow.

A never ending rain.

With every thunderous boom.

Its Causing me to shake.

A shivering sadness

From the water on my face.

My voice starts to quiver.

I simply cant keep up with the pace.

You see these thoughts are just racing.

They howl like the wind

Just twirling around

With no way to win

As these tears flow freely.

Staring out into the storm.

Striking deep in my perception

Of how I see the world.

With every bright flash

A different perspective percieved.

The thoughts they are now slowing

And so is the breeze

The thunder it weakens

Just a low grumble now

The soothing smell of the water

I put my knees on the ground

My mind starts to ease

A gentle wind at my back

I put a mask on my face

So that I can head back

To a world that seems broken

Until once again

The storm is awakend

But I know how it ends.

I sit in silence. where do i begin. to explain the sadness hidden within. I'm telling you my hearts filled with sorrow from the past I could not control, as a child not understanding the world. so I've learned to cope and Ive hid the pain. but never with my head bowed in shame. you see i wear a smile that seems to embrace this world. all the while your never knowing whats behind the eyes of a saddened soul. am I being punished for sins that where not my own. or is it time to man up and accept that now I am grown. it's now up to me to deal with these demons and fight through the struggle and conquer these feelings. Ive always risen above this pain. but regrettably not in the most helpful way. you see I turned to drugs to mask all the sorrow. just to get me by to see tomorrow. only to look around and find my self kneeling. crying out to the world and asking it why. why have you punished me. is this all just a test. im giving it my all and I'm trying my best. this soul cant be broken youve already tried I'll never be ashamed of these choices Inside. the funny thing is I would not have it any other way for all these moments have shaped me into the man that I am today. so I sit in silence an internal war always waging. the simple fact that all this rage inside is hidden behind a smile but it is taken in stride. waiting for fate to change. with new hope at the beginning of everyday. to find the peace within myself. but never forgetting. the path from the dark was always worth winning..

Written by
matthew paschall
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