when i look into your eyes
my heart beats a 1000 times in 1 second
when i feel your hand in mine
or anywhere on my body
my cells explode in fireworks of extascy
and your beautiful smile is all i can see

when i hear the sound of your voice
my stomach pulls together  to let go immediatly
Letting go of all the butterflies, very silently
and while they fly away
all the useless, worrying thoughts rise up too
following the butterflies into nowhere
and all that is left is my blisfull mind wondering how it is fair?
for someone to carry a voice like yours
and silently i whisper to myself: 'heart please beware'

he consumed her mind
made her blind
for all the beauty in the world
were there used to be pearly thoughts
coming and going, like the sea or the air
healthy thoughts, thoughts with flair
now all there was inside was him
in the ocean in her mind he did swim
there was no way out
he was stuck there for a long time now
how? you ask
because he was a prisoner in her mind
but in reality he was her
and it was she who was making herself blind

she was just a girl, trying not to be
hiding from the world, forgoing to see
what was happening around her and what was real
she escaped in her own world, and tried to heal
from all the pain and all the trauma deep inside
taking pills, drinking herself to sleep
trying to think, but not too deep
she had peace there, in her own world
where the outside could not touch her
her bubble was strong
The years passed by, she was inside very long
Then he came along and put a needle in her balloon
he said, come out, i will see you soon
she trusted him and grasped for his hand
only to find out she had no foot on land
his hand was gone and so was he
now she is here, trying not to be
once again, anymore

She could have made friends
she could have seen lands
but instead she escaped in the comfort of her own mind
trying not to see, making herself blind
creating a big bubble, which was not really there
the real world and all the options were too much of a scare
she craves safety and comfort and care
But what she forgot was to share
share her feelings, share her thoughts, share her laughter, share her pain
she was living in vain
no one could come inside her bubble, as hard as they tried
when they came to close, she would start a fight
go away and leave me alone
i want to be in my own home
where i am safe and no one can hurt me
but now she is out, and she can see
the years that she has missed
the pain that she has caused
all the wonderful opportunities lost
it is unbearable to face reality
it is unbearable to be me

thrown away as garbage
like i am worth nothing
you just move on to another girl
and caused a whirl
a hurricane in my life
but instead of coming back to me and try to make it better
you choose to survive
without me
enjoy life, without me
you could care less
and just leave me here, like a mess

i am so sorry
for all the hurt that i have cost
i was a bad person
in my fear and confusion i got lost
i forgot myself and my morals
i did everything i would never do
just because i was in love with you

My mind shattered
My heart no longer in one piece
was this all worth it
just to get off of my leash
maybe it should have been a secret
a short affair
because how i shattered my life, it is hard to bear
i had it all, a loved one, a healthy mind
and now i am blind
blind for reality
because i was stuck in a fantasy
i gave up my whole life
my sense of well being
i hurt the person i loved so dear
because i would not listen to fear
which in this case could have been my aide
and for not listening i paid
a very big price
i lost everything
i was not wise, i was a fool
in love with someone who used me as a tool
forgetting the unconditional love i already had
if i can find the most suiting word, it's regret
i gave up my whole summer which i could have enjoyed
gave up my health, my honesty, my pride
and now all i can do is hide
hide from the pain
hide from the shame
pretend i am still the person i was
pretend i am still good and pure
but now there is a hole in my soul i can't ignore
i did it all myself, i deserve everything that came my way
and the person i was the past few months, she cannot stay
i despise her dishonesty and lack of morals
she was a witch
and for that, i am forever a *****

I created this image in my mind that was not you
I loved it, but this love was not true
it was an escape from the emptiness I was feeling inside
it was a barrier to hide
my true feelings of loneliness and despair
the real you and me get along fine
when we are together I can feel the sunshine
but when we are not you become a different character in my mind
and for reality I am blind
I want to be together, it's a dream that cannot be
because I am messed up again, and unable to see
dark thoughts have taken over my brain
and I listen to them with no restrain
because of this I messed up a love so pure
because of this I am completely unsure
of who I am and what life is
I am lost once again in the jungle in my head
unable to express all the things that should be said
blurting out all the darkness instead
I am not healthy, I am in pain
I have a deep sadness inside me that knows no shame
it has taken over my whole being, that can be full of joy
but is unable now, because my mind is aiming to destroy
every meaningful relationship that could be
because I can't be me