As I sat up today to began my day the pressure of anxiety has either become numb or slowly decest. unwanting Smiles have become the quickest way to blind this discomfort "I'm ok, im ok" repeats more in my head than the signals sent to respire. Time spent looking down has dulled my sense of color no longer able to identify the difference between them. Black and white is now it's outcome. Unwanted, wanted alarms has me walking to find each nights sky as if then I would regain  anything from this discolored vision. Days back sitting on top of the moutain I've gaind loved for the sunlight. Unable to look directly in its direction without my eyes flickering, old memorys grant me it's true identity. Wind with out obstruction is unsettling . I fear with out bricks I can no longer build a wall around myself. Having my guard down for this long has me feeling like a knight without armer. My collection of keys has not open the doors to the great beyond. I wish to meet you there. Without thought I walked down a familiar path only this time the once beautiful garden has become a dark swamp. The lack of care would do this. As I scream in anger a tear builds and reflects a light quickly looking for what I've lost I see it. But the swamp deepins and the mud thickens and I began to understand this path no longer belongs for me. So you stay bight without light, loud with out sound, alive around death your the only wild orchid in my ugly swamp.

Finding things to distract myself have become a necessity no longer a want. I've been stuck on many things but having to be brave to get down a mountain has gained my love. A craving for a thoughtless mind had become an addiction. Impulsively I've begin to repeat the same movements but expecting a different outcome so I go higher up the mountain each day.  Somehow it's been someone  was always  needed to be by side but that perception has faded once I get down with a smile on my face. I can't imagine a day without these moments of silence. With a theory of Dizzy legs in the seas legs become strong. Easy knees different balance it's not hard to gain control. I now flow with the wind once I found it's direction it's become music that hasn't moved me. Without keys without bricks without armer you'll have to climb this mountain to try and hurt me. (Title)