Crickets now chirping and
cars in the distance.
Feeling the earth questioning
this existence.
How others live is
not my worry.
My concern is my own
inner hung jury.
What is real and
what is not and
why are we in
this frying ***?
What truly matters, though,
at the end of the day
is the energy coursing
when feeling this way:
when I think of my man
and our plans and our goals
and how closely we hold
the molding of this growth
and explore each experience
deliriously true.
At the end of the day,
all my thoughts turn to you.

Swirling minds
lead to circular thoughts,
releasing one transgression
but another gets caught.
Digging deep
uncertainty begins to creep,
it's not weak to weep,
sometimes the hills are steep
and the gaps are hard to leap,
but we keep pushing
until we reach the peak.
But the pinnacle does not
mean the journey has ended,
it's just one part
of many that has mended.
Once we conquer
our earthly errors,
we can move on to
existential terrors.

I have been on this path
alone so long,
but now I roam with someone
who helps me be strong.
With her I know I belong.
I have someone who brings
harmony to my song.
Not every day will turn out
the way we intend,
but we each have a friend
we can depend on to defend
each other from that which
would have us descend.
We take flight beyond these
earthly plights and will
reach new heights
and see new sights,
for we will smite
our ego and spite
to do what's right
and be a light shining bright,
even during the darkest of nights.

Posted for author: M. Buff

Spirit intrigued me but
leaves me deceived when
relief is the same thing I fear.
Coming together in
warming up weather,
I find I feel better
when the sun is so near.
But the real sky’s bliss
that I lust for and miss
is the moon and its’ kiss
when the light hits me clear.
This moon turns hawk,
swoops me up to space walk,
traces star light with chalk,
and my fears disappear.
Take me down, gentle wings,
on the ground we will see
our souls sing in glee,
reflecting like a mirror.
Love in and love out,
doves embrace on this cloud,
our feet pace to meet now,
the energy feels so dear.
Hearts wrap arms round each other,
finding nothing but lovers,
growing close under covers,
whispering into ears.
Discovering soft secrets,
pinky promise to keep it,
not a shadow of regret
in the light we endear.
Hold tight to our dreams,
stitch up broken seams,
let smiles and souls gleam
from the heartbeats we hear.

-kbww

Sitting here outside,
I see the moon, hear crickets chirp.
Getting lost in sighs and swoon
to snippets of spring earth.
Waiting for rebirth
with eastern sun and lively air.
Praying I feel worth, concern is done,
this time, I’m there.
Wishing you were here,
but feel your heartbeat
with my eyes.
Fishing further tiers
reveal stars seated in the skies.
There I meet you, dear,
above the clouds amongst the light.
Where sweet dreams come true,
no fear, love bounds and
lust takes flight.

kbww

I’m sorry I’m so distant.
I’m sorry for these pains.
I’m sorry for these instances.
I’m sorry life’s insane.
I’m sorry on behalf
of this wayward universe.
I’m sorry that my path
sometimes seems to be reversed.
I’m sorry that you suffer
as a result of my own struggle.
I’m sorry there’s no lover
in your arms to hold and cuddle.
I’m sorry I’m not healing
as quickly as I desire.
I’m sorry my mind’s reeling,
but my heart is full of fire.
I’m sorry that my kiss
missed your lips of rosy pearls.
I’m sorry,
but I promise,
I’m never sorry I’m your girl.  

kbww

My eyes mimic the skies in dripping sighs and watered truths to battle lies of a messed up system we insist is care, but never finding any there. Shrapnel are these words to purge a putrid sickness of tired limbs and synonyms for various painful phrases. Clouds cover a moon I may have too soon lost to vision, but a mission to take it from my heart won’t part without permission. Warmth of fanned out heat playing sidekick to my seat and defeat of feeling joyous, but this soul is not porous and I hold my pride. Tides change and energetic surgeries heal from the real places they’ve touched, and though much can be praised of these hazy transformations, exhaustion is but a drop away. Even so, I’ll be okay.

kbww

I don’t know what to do with myself,
I just keep feeling low.
I want to release the
pain from these bones
and feel a calming glow.
I tend to be fine some of the day
but it’s like somehow time takes that away
and by the end of the night I end up grey and,
I just don’t like feeling this way.

There’s nothing anyone one can do,
not my family not my friends, not even you.
This is the pain I must go through
if I want to make it to my ultimate view.
An ultimate me in all alternate planes,
surviving ultimately with no real pains.
Just the temporary stresses
that everyone feels
and temporary messes
that serve no reveal.
Just a normal life in less nervous skin.
I’ll go through the strife to find what’s within.
It’s worth every tear at the end of the day.
I just,
wish I didn’t feel this way.

kbww

There has to be some sort of
symmetry my soul is missing.
It seems I see the gore that
endlessly grows on within me.
I also see the lights of
actuality and love.
But calls from me for sight
in reality get lost above.
I know someone is listening
beyond the words I pray:
if so, the sun will glisten
neon rays on me someday.
Until this time, I travel the sky,
the moon to light my way.
And in this rhyme, I unravel why
I wish soon to sight the day.

kbww

Sway swiftly, silent heart.
Your brain connection is
closed.
Stare at your toes or Mars
or the stars, just,
don’t look in the mirror.
You won’t like what you
see there.
It’s two way and you are still
only looking at yourself.
A roundabout way to
end the day, circumference
in the way your soul stays:
Closed, and *****.

Open firmly.
Deflect the dread of
thoughts from your head that
do not lead to salvation.
Sit alone, no phones or
mindless calamity.
Just you and the alchemy
of your swift heart.
Cut the art of disconnecting;
soul begs to stir the light.
Become the start of life
transcending.
Be your beginning,
never your ending.

-Ww

One poet asks another, “Is it quite possible that some of us are just stuck in a game of loving too much?”

The second poet answers, “My dear, we wouldn’t have poetry if we were in the game of loving too little.”

-Kbww

I love the Joker and Harley Quinn,
but I don’t want to be so harsh.
We can be just like Luke and Leia,
but that’s gross and, kind of dark.
Bonnie and Clyde were badass together,
but I don’t like to hurt anyone.

So right now, just be my glowing moon,
and I’ll be your beaming sun.

-kb

Elusive love, for years I beg.
Stop tossing my heart
to your pile of dread.
I deserve the stars, the moon, the seas;
I deserve a place beyond my knees.

Offbeat heart ticks,
cards on bike spokes;
lust, impulse and,
my nerves are stroked.
Unaware you are bearing
your soft sequenced soul.
I read your frequencies,
and take control.

Just entertain this idea awhile.
See if your lips can part a smile.
If they do, take me away from here,
to the places banned
from thought and fear.

-kbww

Can’t seem to tell if this light is real
or just some rude glare
getting my hopes up.
Subconsciously avoiding it all,
playing roles to suit situations,
never dealing with the truth,
like a widow who still makes
breakfast for two.
Peeled away from the glue of reality,
finding a better adhesion in avoidance.

Unwinding a mind that’s been tethered
to the same ideas for years proves tedious and redundant.
It’s all just memories,
hauntingly replaying the past,
or getting caught in conjured up
apparitions of the future:
there is no truth here.
Only distorted perceptions
that turn to deception and a saving grace
for the face we would rather not show.

And we run like clocks, ticking thoughts
like time bombs fueled by fear for the future,
as youth has failed to learn to tell time.
The seconds are never long enough,
yet are frivolously coaxed to go faster.

Conflict becomes nonexistent,
too afraid to look it’s direction.
Choose selections that are selfish,
but easier to manage.
Staying silent strangers,
like blind men in a house of mirrors.


~kb

Put convenience over necessity,
and necessary dies.
It can be seen upon the moon,
in sad and disappointed eyes.

~kb

Maybe I assume too much.
Dream of Fall in June too much.
Stare beyond the moon in lust.
Beg the stars for warmth and touch.

Seek the meaning of false rhymes.
Testing tempo, wasting time.
Mind beyond horizon lines
hides from eyes and warning signs.

Racing thoughts and tracing stare.
Fear drops by to stop and glare.
Fight, don’t let it take me there.
Inhale deep, become aware.

Look, and feet are on the ground.
Tether down this brain abound.
Silence, soul can feel the sounds.
A hopeful heartbeat proudly pounds.

~kb

Your ear lent to my pain
would be a blessing.
My self disdain
by your presence lessening.
Understanding unwanted,
nor needed through tears.
Ears enough to steer
thoughts away from their taunting
and haunting demeanor.
Thoughts become clearer
as sharply soft ears
utter, “I don’t understand,
but I’ll always be here.”

~kb

I have two internal measures
for the way that I behave;
a mental slave to personalities
conflicting through the day
and I particularly hate
when both collide
in times of stress,
one's a mess, the other’s message
slides under messy depressive
states of habit I’ve constructed
to survive and mime reality,
unrelenting muscle memory
devised from grooves in symmetry
through brain and grained gray matter
a pattern cyclically repeats
and I’m defeated just before
I get to stand on my own feet.

~kb

It’s not my place.
It’s not my place to tell you you’re ignorant.
It’s not my place to tell you you’re disrespectful.
It’s not my place to tell you you’re unhealthy.
It’s not my place to tell you you’re wrong.
It’s not my place to educate you.

All of those perceptions and behaviors are your path, your truth.

It is ONLY my place to BE the compassionate, the respectful, the healthy, the charitable, the intelligent, the confident.

My only purpose is to be my values
and love whoever follows
and whoever doesn’t
equally.

~kb

I lie upon a table, open to the world.
Fingers slowly straighten,
losing anxious gripping curves.
Gentle hands behind my head,
I’ve been told this may be rough,
but something deep inside this soul
has had about enough.
Let me fall into
the darkest places webbed and trapped.
When I come out bathed in tears
I’ll have a better guided map.

He presses on my head,
and I breathe and count to three.
The rest of my experience
is no longer up to me.
He says: find a happy place,
notice all the smells.
The noises and the feeling
of a comfort I know well.

I fall onto the floor
of my late Grandmother’s home,
the place I never wondered
if I’d ever feel alone.
His pressure becomes greater,
and the darkness takes its shape.
The bed she lay upon,
her last breaths while not awake.
I am there beside her now,
but lie in trance from brain control.
The sadness becomes worse
and emotion takes its toll.
A snap of gentle fingers
and I’m suddenly awake.
Face is drenched in tears
and I’m far from feeling safe.

The doctor looks at me
and asks me softly how I feel.
I say I don’t know why,
but I fear what he’s revealed.
I ascend up from the table,
dry my face and soaking ears,
I know I will stay stuck
if I keep in all these fears.
Bearing through the pain
of reliving blocked off issues,
I tell him next appointment,
I’ll bring my own tissues.

-kb


*A true story about emotional healing and Cranio Sacral therapy

Exhausted beyond measure
yet the days are keeping time
Idled in the pleasure
of a soft unspoken rhyme
Dripping through the letters
seeps a meaning I call mine
Uninterested in whether
words can easily combine

~kb

Twitch and the itch is stitched through my nerves the curves of endless verve intwined my mind laced signs of insane a brain tainted and lame from the same elixirs to fix her tiny powder tricksters losing sisters testing brothers working father worried mother and the other friends and foes they don’t know how low my heart’s gone wall up armor on whisper songs to tin plates hide my face stay in place until the wolves go away

~kb

Everything’s offensive,
thoughts are too pensive
Enraged and defensive:
Tell me how to speak

Breath lined with tall fences
ablating my sentence
so it doesn’t mention
words you find so bleak

Won’t change up my ways
so the ears in your day
hear the right thing to say
I’ll take your critique

**** being offended
Your life hasn’t ended
See how these amended
words make you so weak

~kb

You’re a pacifist yet,
war sins in your skin
Mist of sick sweat
thin and diluted
Voice has been muted
Clued in and clueless,
opinions are useless
Divisions of truths
and selfish intentions
used and mentioned
to muse attention
in confused directions
Not a fuse or spark
can perfuse the dark
misused as protection

~kb

Evil escapes from blackened throat,
floats in smoke through crooked teeth
A thunderous scream, no haunted dream
just haunting beams of energy
emptying an unstoppable exorcism
Prism of color that covers reality
picks me up and carries me
above to watch my body tremor,
parents clamor to cease and destroy demons apparently employed to
spark the kerosene in the center of me Exploding scene, pieces that be
scurry for shade aided by men paid
in empty bank accounts to strap me down
and numb me up, mid weight sedation
and unconscious frustration
in the way these internal
tectonic plates have forever shifted
Once gifted, now gifted new hell
Numbed and dumbed down thoughts
seethe and swell and
I can tell the world I see
will no longer be the life of a girl
who’s only fourteen

~kb

Opaque, sapphire breath a fire to lungs
in this month to month crystal cover

March clover search is over
and I arch my wicked spine
ready for straight flame summer
Blue to you and life to me, this lucid dream, how it seems and what it is:
vast differences,
past inferences
change future scenarios and how it goes depends on me and if I believe
this dream came true or can some day
Or if I’m fixed in place this way,
catatonic and observant,
inner cosmic vibrations ensure that
oxygen levels have changed in my bloodstream
been replaced by obscene traces
of the dream I’m supposed to be chasing,
pacing this galaxy in my body to find
tails of trails that fail to exist
Amidst the inner midnight blue,
I’ve forgotten dreams,
sink like glue into my limbs
Think new sentences and synonyms
Links to letters that enter these rows,
create a new slow tempo of meanings,
rhythm intervening, leaning low

Body owed this lucid euphoria
Glass mind, and a smoky blue aura

~kb

Life is all just more or less,
equal when times are right
Wrongly, I’ve become obsessed
with less more in this fight

More is a word for not enough;
please don’t ever want more of me
Weak and just a tad too rough
not enough is what I get to be

It’s why when I give you the most
the worst comes into play
I’d love to be your gracious host,
but most swallowed my best today

Better than I’ve ever been,
worse than more of you
Equal in most times of sin
when more is right on cue

~kb

I hear you crying, darling
Pillow stained with tepid tears
I’ve spoken many ‘sorries’,
wordy weights for fragile ears

Youth abducted by this mess
Rehearsed faces to survive
Reddened bracelets to impress
demons comfortable inside

Promises prove hard to hold;
heavy burdens, arms grow weak
Taken by a mind so bold:
Vocal chords go mute to speak

Falling down while growing up,
never takes the easy way
Grave tightrope she stands atop,
tends to fall one way each day

Balancing while punching ghosts,
falls the wrong way off this rope
Rest is best, stay numbly dosed
Darling, sleep and dream of hope

~kb

Lights flicker,
sicker to safe
Game gets lame
Drains hold elixirs

Finished with fixers
Gut rips up chemicals
Tamed animal;
numb pill mixer

Synthetic sister
Phantom friend
Life ******* daughter
Cancerous blister

**** down the sinister
mute of my life
True face is faceless
Pull this proverbial trigger

Pine to see luster,
human free of these chains,
no chemical restraints
Reveal identity of this figure

Clouds outlined in silver
New fresh lit cheeks,
stand tall, and recall,
dark has a tricky whisper

~kb

Separation anxiety with myself;
terrified of the gloom girl leaving
Weaving new webs that stick like oil,
slick and coiled, stalling bereavement
Trepidation on angles of light and shadow
Yin, yang, Confucius confusion
Desires remain: stitched scars with light,
wings blacker than dots on dominos

Arachnid, I yearn to spark my molting,
space far too cluttered for this luxury;
huddled masses between my ears,
symphony of failures, always off key
Continuing a battle of lost meanings
I ail only to be impaled by doubt
Version two is a ruse I’m magnetized to:
Reckless instructions, emotions black out

Light might have to wait for an ominous cue,
twist, tight gripped, pull version one through
Polish worn, rough edges, forgive version two
Frail, tragic little girl;
failed to claw her way out


~kb

I’ve stood where I can’t stand me
I’ve been where I won’t go
I’ve seen what I can’t recognize
I’ve grown where light won’t show

I’ve copied blank white pages
I’ve written letters but no words
I’ve crossed lines never drawn
I’ve turned normal to absurd

I’ve fallen down while getting up
I’ve known peace within disorder
I’ve slept through violent sudden storms
I’ve gone back while moving forward

I’ve never hidden who I am
I’ve often thought in sin
I’ve always made perfect mistakes
And, I’ve never given in

~kb

And I wish you understood what you can’t
understand where I stand is nowhere that
you’ve stood, and I would never want you to
Vision of a distant made dismay, I cannot
comfort you while rewiring my brain so stay
the sane one so when the sparks fly as I
stand in the rain watch shocked I’m back to
life for a little while, makeshift smile and
happy tongue create verses for everyone
and eyes are pleased but diseased bleeding
an internal beating and the wires take off
their coats, let misread codes stay a while
and the smile fades, compile shades of
finest greys to throw away because only
finest black paves the way for this creature
inside who pushes me aside a divide in one
being creating two and the glue that holds
any stability together separates step in rate
of slow paced breathing seething for the
dark so shadows don’t exist and you’re the
one that’s ****** because I can’t get out of
bed tell the voices in my head who have got
me near dead to cut out the dread they hold;
darkened girl poems are getting old, and the words keep repeating themselves

~kb

Head a hostile environment again
Emotion overthrows intelligence
Fragile skull accepts another beating
and indecency becomes preference

Absorbing black into gray matter
Meticulous infiltration;
Makes death a desire
and living a fear

Friendly fire
Mind battles disease, disease
obliterates mind to violence
collided with sharpened corners of myself
****** mess, wrong message

Swallowing hostile heavy medications,
contain my elation so that overjoy
doesn't morph into mania, or joy
Mass of electrons now inside
find nothing positive; thought paralyzed

Deviating cells that scare themselves
from the darkened sanguinary state.
wide eyed faces searching for a homeostasis
Far from stable since demon's rule

Constant epiphanies with no execution
turn to facts filed in brain catalogs
Fully aware solutions are there,
but the drawers are glued shut

~kb

Sick with it
Spun and done
Get on with your negative nature
Spew insults after being kind
Swallowing others’ egos
Creature posing as a man
needs to work on posing stance
Deceit seeps through pores
glorified saying you’re moisturized
Burn you down eyes gouge out
Realize that fake are made of plastic
Puddle of a little man, where’s your ego now?

~kb

Picture Prompt: https://ap-pics2.gotpoem.com/ap-pics/contest/2717/9.jpg?FBIMG15460956

Bustling and busy
There used to be a city
Graced with healing Hudson waters
Dreamers dreamed with
Street corner schemes
Hopes soared higher than the skyline
But the timeline of our saddened state
This human race sped everything up
Blue water turned grey and
Foamed at the mouth swallowing light
Like a black hole
Leaving darkened streets
And acid fog met breath
It was too much to bare
For the weak we’d become
Abandoning homes for higher ground
The sound of tall buildings
Aching in the wind like they cry
For someone to stay
It never used to look this way
Like it quietly weeps alone
Space becoming limited here
Take our statue and move on

~kb

Sometimes I sit in my backyard
listen to the cars in the distance
I wonder where they’re going
Who’s in them
Are they tired or scared
or ready to go out
or dying to go in
or living in sin
or an upstanding human singing along
with the radio or cursing other drivers
for driving too slow
and which one of them goes home to love and which one of them goes home to hate and which one of them goes home alone
and which ones don’t make it home at all
I guess someday we all fall
Another night in the highway tales
that mean nothing more than a girl
who’s imagination is bored

~kb

Sugar coated verbiage
Lengthy sentences
Phrases sink in sunk places
Spaces containing
Made up boxes
Fan open and spill
Plot twists and tone shifts
Into our visual ears
Eyes become narrators
Hard cover to unwanted thoughts
Get lost
In fantasy words
That make fantasy worlds
When pieced and assembled
Precision of a surgeon’s knife
Hidden in stamped black ink’s life
The title makes sense

~kb

Painted lips a bloodless blue
I exist but I am dead to you
Porcelain skin starts to crack
I cover my eyes and send my mind back
Feathered fingertips graze my skin
Blue an ocean of you where I would swim
Now drowning in your tension and hate
Breath escapes and new hues take shape
Silent screams and a siren’s song
Warning me my lips are colored wrong
Tired eyes behind coarse unkempt hair
Open wide to the truth of my despair
Pink plush gradients return to their place
Without you here I can see my face
I will never break I just get recreated
New palette gives me back
Confidence you complicated

~kb

Overthinking again
I can’t get this pen to write light
So nightlights line the walls
And the halls are the only
Brightness in my life
I wish you could see
That the flurry of words
Assembling into meaning
Are the front line soldiers
For me to take aim
Trigger finger to thoughts
That plague my brain
******* to those
Who show disdain
I don’t complain
Phrases are no plea
Humble not sufficient
To define how it feels
To know who I am
Never fear to be real

~kb

I can’t speak anymore
my vocal chords are
tainted painted red
from rapid screams
into the pillows
pressed with tears and smeared mascara
an era I need desperately to end to mend become a version of sane again
it’s insane when these cycles
continue to haunt me
a gauntlet to the faces of
happy peaceful and pure
just continuing to break me down even more people going about their day
and I wonder if they
ever feel this way
if they’ve ever felt despair deep in their gut or if they’ve ever wanted their eyes
permanently shut
or if they ever even look at me
the mute headed for entropy

~kb

Heavy in argument
Opposing sides
And both are right
Right?
Because now it’s not ok
to have an opinion
Because now the term fact
has a new definition
Because now being smart
is condescending
Because now being offended
is some violent offense
On the fence about how all of this will go
Truth is no one really wants to know
We just keep taking our pain out on each other
Hate will continue to prey under this
clouded cover
This fog not lifting should make you shudder

~kb