I lie upon a table, open to the world.
Fingers slowly straighten,
losing anxious gripping curves.
Gentle hands behind my head,
I’ve been told this may be rough,
but something deep inside this soul
has had about enough.
Let me fall into
the darkest places webbed and trapped.
When I come out bathed in tears
I’ll have a better guided map.
He presses on my head,
and I breathe and count to three.
The rest of my experience
is no longer up to me.
He says: find a happy place,
notice all the smells.
The noises and the feeling
of a comfort I know well.
I fall onto the floor
of my late Grandmother’s home,
the place I never wondered
if I’d ever feel alone.
His pressure becomes greater,
and the darkness takes its shape.
The bed she lay upon,
her last breaths while not awake.
I am there beside her now,
but lie in trance from brain control.
The sadness becomes worse
and emotion takes its toll.
A snap of gentle fingers
and I’m suddenly awake.
Face is drenched in tears
and I’m far from feeling safe.
The doctor looks at me
and asks me softly how I feel.
I say I don’t know why,
but I fear what he’s revealed.
I ascend up from the table,
dry my face and soaking ears,
I know I will stay stuck
if I keep in all these fears.
Bearing through the pain
of reliving blocked off issues,
I tell him next appointment,
I’ll bring my own tissues.
-kb
*A true story about emotional healing and Cranio Sacral therapy