Lights flicker,
sicker to safe
Game gets lame
Drains hold elixirs

Finished with fixers
Gut rips up chemicals
Tamed animal;
numb pill mixer

Synthetic sister
Phantom friend
Life ******* daughter
Cancerous blister

**** down the sinister
mute of my life
True face is faceless
Pull this proverbial trigger

Pine to see luster,
human free of these chains,
no chemical restraints
Reveal identity of this figure

Clouds outlined in silver
New fresh lit cheeks,
stand tall, and recall,
dark has a tricky whisper

~kb

Separation anxiety with myself;
terrified of the gloom girl leaving
Weaving new webs that stick like oil,
slick and coiled, stalling bereavement
Trepidation on angles of light and shadow
Yin, yang, Confucius confusion
Desires remain: stitched scars with light,
wings blacker than dots on dominos

Arachnid, I yearn to spark my molting,
space far too cluttered for this luxury;
huddled masses between my ears,
symphony of failures, always off key
Continuing a battle of lost meanings
I ail only to be impaled by doubt
Version two is a ruse I’m magnetized to:
Reckless instructions, emotions black out

Light might have to wait for an ominous cue,
twist, tight gripped, pull version one through
Polish worn, rough edges, forgive version two
Frail, tragic little girl;
failed to claw her way out


~kb

I’ve stood where I can’t stand me
I’ve been where I won’t go
I’ve seen what I can’t recognize
I’ve grown where light won’t show

I’ve copied blank white pages
I’ve written letters but no words
I’ve crossed lines never drawn
I’ve turned normal to absurd

I’ve fallen down while getting up
I’ve known peace within disorder
I’ve slept through violent sudden storms
I’ve gone back while moving forward

I’ve never hidden who I am
I’ve often thought in sin
I’ve always made perfect mistakes
And, I’ve never given in

~kb

And I wish you understood what you can’t
understand where I stand is nowhere that
you’ve stood, and I would never want you to
Vision of a distant made dismay, I cannot
comfort you while rewiring my brain so stay
the sane one so when the sparks fly as I
stand in the rain watch shocked I’m back to
life for a little while, makeshift smile and
happy tongue create verses for everyone
and eyes are pleased but diseased bleeding
an internal beating and the wires take off
their coats, let misread codes stay a while
and the smile fades, compile shades of
finest greys to throw away because only
finest black paves the way for this creature
inside who pushes me aside a divide in one
being creating two and the glue that holds
any stability together separates step in rate
of slow paced breathing seething for the
dark so shadows don’t exist and you’re the
one that’s ****** because I can’t get out of
bed tell the voices in my head who have got
me near dead to cut out the dread they hold;
darkened girl poems are getting old, and the words keep repeating themselves

~kb