Diseased mind

Whatever happened to what was supposed to be that wonderful life of mine?.. From the failed relationships of hurting everyone around me,  to popping another bottle cap to **** my feelings in drowning. If I could explain that first sip it's like fire in my veins, but all the way to the never ending last is like venom to my brain. When I pick up that first drink I am no longer me rather just an altered perception of who I try to be . Volatile and violent with that S on my chest I wish they would try me . Out of this world out of this galaxy out of my mind such a preventable tragedy. That crazy act of picking up that first drink can be defined as simply only one thing... insanity. They say jails, institutions and death , well for me there is only one left. I have to make that admission along with the  decision to believe in and trust a power greater than me. For only he with my co operation can build a new foundation to ensure that my mother and kids don't bury me and to change towards my destiny so I could see what was meant for me. This is the confessions of a diseased mind literally fighting for my life as I write through these very lines. The decision is made the choice is mine, i choose life and I'm coming for what's mine. D.P.

Flashbacks"
Flashbacks riding shotgun with my partner, literally... on top of the world is what we were considering ,Taking advantage of the street Illiterates. The Robberies, drug sales, better not run and tell. General status stamped on the lapels, failed to understand the lifestyle was leading to the gates of hell, or rather on the rails of insanity, but I guess it took living to the other side of that experience in order to get true delivery with the understanding required to be a better man today. Taking the necessary steps in order to put my self in check to come back and help the next man find the love of God and a little self respect. Just for today I will always hit my knees to pray for him to keep my mind state in his light and to continue living this better way of life. The attraction of these principles keeps me away from the incomprehensible demoralization that I was chasing that was certainly far to over rated. No more fake it till I make it, I'm bought in. So give me the stakes and let me hammer them in, because I'm here to stay all the way to THE END.

A mystical enchantress, the one I would spend a life time trying to get that one kiss. visions of my hands being ensnared in that flowing beautiful long dark hair. Those long passionate nights, where I give those lucious quivering lips enticing little bites. with the body of a goddess, and mind of a queen, yet your heart still shines as prominent when you step on the scene. If we were to grow old together, the time we would endure through, it would remain crystal clear that I would always cherish and adore you. those splendidly gorgeous green eyes, always shining so bright like the most precious of emeralds under heavens shine, steady drawing me in peaking my interest, that beautiful smile keeping me tempted, I could never imagine myself trying to put an end to this. Your heavenly soul steady drawling me in more than looks could fathom, has my heart beating like the haunting of a phantom. If there was ever a perfect thought of what a soul mate was that could only be you from the heavens above, all thats shining down is Gods devine plan for us. I would relinquish a lifetime for the chance with you, so that I could only show you what a real man and woman could do . until that day comes i hope he treats you fine , just remember that in the heart of hearts you will always be mine.

"Mirror"

As I look into the reflection and wonder who it is that I see, I can't help but know that the man upstairs has something amazing destined for me. Even through all of the struggles and all of the strife, No one ever said this would be easy but it's well worth the fight. With in me resides such delight to see his ultimate plans begin to take flight. So as that growing man stares back at me He has no choice but to smile and just do the next right thing. No more of the troubles of trying to survive in the streets trying to stay alive, Fighting those demons alone, being locked up or trying to find that next hard knocks come up. All I was given was just for today and for that I smile and continue to pray, no more hoping that I make it to see a better day. The day as it is given is perfect just to be able to say " I'm still above ground" and live to fight yet another day. D.P.