biking to work at 5 a.m. on sunday morning
i see some malevolent ***** on saturday night
has dragged the sign YIELD TO PEDESTRIANS
from the sidewalk to the middle of the road
what was going through this idiot's mind?
"this is gonna be epic
have another beer and let's wait for the crash"
i drag the heavy base and flattened sign
back to the sidewalk
someone did indeed smash into it
but it's still dangerous
if that ******* had half a brain
he'd have seen that the only way to avoid the sign
would be to swerve head-on into the opposite lane
but maybe i'm mistaken about his motivation
maybe that was the point
maybe a car hadn't yielded to this pedestrian
and this is his revenge
"**** the world
starting with the ******* in this car
and all cars"

what happened?
what will happen?
where are we really?
and the why is a lost cause
why does that man have only one arm?
we will never know
we’re sunk in a swamp of boundless mystery
but we’re rolling fine without any answers
it effects the price of beer
but we’re gonna pay it anyway

he held a bullet next to his chest with his left hand
with his right he smashed it with a hammer
which is why he’s missing *******
he still has a chest and beating heart though
and glistening red toenails
this fellow does things his way

regarding Plato’s Ring of Invisibility

what could be ventured with invisibility?
Plato ponders filthy ***…  unbridled thievery…
well i tell you
when i think about invisibility
i say i’m already there
as are we all
i’ve got my body
which hardly instigates much commotion
but my thoughts are unseen
ulterior, inscrutable, out of sight
buried in a concrete bunker
i’m a secret agent on a secret mission
which keeps me busy far beyond thievery

this morning in the ER i met a large fella
who jumped out a second story window
escaping his girlfriend and her knife
he landed on his feet
unfortunately for his feet
dude should have cleaned the cat box

gotta give it to the New York Times
every week they blindside you
with a new apocalyptic scenario
that you had no idea existed
when armageddon arrives
the only mystery will be which way we’ll respond
"didn’t see that one coming"
or "we knew but didn’t do anything about it"

ginger is the star of these movies
fred is a special effect