what did i learn working at the hospital today?
don't do a headstand on a motorcycle
but don't worry
the daredevil kid who taught me this
will never do it again

you know
maybe jobs are SUPPOSED to drive you insane
the more i consider it
the more plausible it seems
what job DOESN'T drive you nuts?
maybe “employment” was designed
to wreck your mind
the overlords’ secret agenda

next time you drunkenly bring up suicide
“you guys are better off without me”
i will once again drill it in your soggy noggin
we are NOT better off without you
if you die, much of us dies too
you will ******* me
you will ******* your son
you will ******* your daughter
and all the good things you have done
will be erased

the doctors dithered for days
whether to amputate the patient’s leg
it was a bone of contention

stupendous new band name!

happy wife, happy life
and even though there’s no such thing
as a happy wife—
most likely she’s married to a man—
it doesn’t hurt to aim high

1.
when you're a few pages into a novel
you might decide--
is this the world i want to live in
for a week?

2.
useful or useless?
pertinent criticism
for any work of art