This round flame is not here to attack you
it is the energy of who I was, who I am, and who I may be.

If you look into the shimmering ball of flame you will see who I was,
you will see my sorrows in the morning and regrets at night
I was buried and my roots knew I was not ready.

Ball of flame show them who I am now...

“her spell was broken by her inner spirit named truths leading freedom to be born
her angel hair let loose to finally be in touch with the wind
her smooth fingers understood each cryptic part of her body
her earthly feet connected with the sound of her heart beat”

See,
these roots are not completely hugging all my body

Ball of flame show them who I will be...

“Standing tall close to the horizon she is not yet a complete tree. She will soon be who she wants to be in time. See, each inch will soon be covered by her magical world and mirrors reflection that will continuously shape her spirit. Tomorrow she and the flame will beam brighter that she will begin to believe she is nearly close to becoming a complete goddess to her kingdom”

Many fears had to be let go in order for these roots to reach my chest and grip my heart’s truth
What are your truths? Are you living by them? Are you proud of them?

Ball of flame, I wish them and my growth the best.

You will soon understand,
that falling in love does not include:

wanting and hoping
that they fall in love with us.

it is falling for the person that they are.

You will soon see that
late night thinking hoping we did not:
“say the wrong thing”
“are they seeing someone else"
“do I look good enough”

it is simply falling in love with your self

accepting and sharing
yourself with
kindness and care
to them

we can only
hope
they accept us for us

we can only
hope
they care for us as much as
we care for ourselves

as of now
stay true to yourself
for they will see in their eyes
how much you fall in love with yourself everyday,
they will see.

As of now
enjoy they joy they bring you
each morning
each afternoon
every second of your breath
every heartbeat they give you

but never forget
if we fall out of love it is ok.

We are only here to
accept ourselves
and
share our lives with them.

it will never be for eternity
for that is our own peace as well.

"Did you hear Tonya  son is gay?"
"Oh that's cool."

A la  siguinte  semanan naylie  me  comento
"Tonya kicked  her son out of her house for being gay."

As thoughts race through my head I wonder where will he live? he's just a senior in high school

Soon after that I never really thought about him since I never knew him or seen him

lo  conosi por distanica

"Mira  Yvette ese  es  el  hijo  de  tonya  tu  sabias  que  era  gay?" me  dijo  nayeli  que  lo  conoses
As usual, irritated, le  contesto, "ay  ama la  van  a esquchar y  no  no  lo  conosco"

I didn't want to feel guilty for being somebody that whispers through ears

"Mija  y tu  mama va  venir  al  aerobics?"
" Nose "

Tonya No  me  conose ni  tampoco  conse  que  me  da  verguenza su  decicion como  puede  abandonar  a su hijo

My  mom  while she pretended to cover her whispers through squats and lunges.

"Mira  Yvette ese  es  el  hijo  de  tonya"

As I gaze,
flaco  y  Alto.
What is he doing here at the park? his mom is going to see him. He looks happy playing basketball was he really kick out? did she bring him here?

My second year of summer vacation of college I try to be part of LA and South Park with the aerobics women but it is inconsistent the same way how inconsistent my thought of Tonya's  son being homeless

Por  segunda  ves  la distancia  nos  unio

Mami  y yo  sentadas 10minutos antes  que  empiese  la  clase

"Ay  mira  Yvette siempre  esta  aqui ya  nunca esta  bien  vestido "

I guess she did kick him out

Sudadas y cansadas,
When classes end  todas  Las mama  se  van en Chinga,
Tengo  que  ir  a vender!
Tengo  que  hacer de  comer!
Tengo  que  pasar  por  el  chiquillo  a  la  escuela!

"Mejor vete  en  chinga  por  tu hijo Mientras  haces  de  comer no  se  te  olvide  poner  el quarto  Plato en  la  mesa Y  cuando  termines  no  se  te olvide  pasar por  tu  hijo  que  duerme  en el  parque"

Otros anos  mas

"Ay  Yvette dice  nayeliy que  ya  el  hijo  de  Tonya  usa  drogas"

I just listened

I'd feel bad to if my mom never noticed me over the thing she loved the most, aerobics

Sonriente  y  sin  verguenza,
Camina  ase  su  casa  dejando  su  hijo.

It doesn't seem to work its as if he wants her to notice him

Maybe if my mom sees me everyday out here knowing that I live here she'll take me home after she's done with her work out

365 dias multiplicado por 2, espero  que  todabia  tenga  esa  esperanza o talvez  ya  lo  consumio  las drogas

Gentle kisses
tattooed in and out every inch
Soothing you into is different escape of pleasures

The day is short
finally understanding peace in bed after lovely whispers

Mornings are light weight
for they have completed half the day  before wake

Honest February
what thing, place, and sound reminds them of

...us

Breakfast in bed
we can fast as long as they are by our side

hug me and escape with me

...Just you and me

Hands held tight
for every second counts

Will it be you?,
you who I will see in my paradise

We are one,
firm and soft skins
is a mix to good love

Good love,
that feels like a breeze once wrapped around,
It is peace

air chimes my bells
as I close my eyes
to find us here

It is celestial

Time tells you
you tried to tell it

"it's not who I want to be"

time                                                                                
by time
by time

"dear time leave it behind"

I am still moving
in winds
in bees
in love
in trees
in water
in feet
in pain

Swayed and drifted
in bed

play and repeat
the melody of piano
play and repeat

I am moving
in fingertips
for touch
is never
the same

I am moving
I am sure you are on repeat

Swayed and drifted
in hazards
of all dark colors

see me

for I am
your shadow

I am
east, west
south, north
Surrounded by shadows times

Swayed and drifted
by who you want to be today

let I be
your healed pain
your dancing feet
your fresh water
your wavy trees
your tender love
your buzzing bees
your mystical winds

let I,
be your time.

I sway and gaze at the beautiful world.

Glaring flirtatiously at that man.

I don't know if it's just me, but when I dance I see the hunger in his eyes for this *** he can possibly smash for the night but for me the tease is a sweet feel to leave him with.

It's that kind of power I have over my playground.

Flirtatiously evil and I feel dam! good about it!

Stale and unaware of these disco lights but aware of my jittery black eyes.

Each blink is a click my camera takes.

Automatic controls allow my feet to follow the beat.

While the inner me plans a scheme spreading images leaving me to analyze.

"He's coming towards me! please! let his feet pass by me"

I shamefully look down but I'm not sure what I blanket over. I guess, all of me.

I hope it's a phase it never used to be this way back in my day.

Next click is a twist to my own fit.
Banging! and slamming! brain cells.

"They are all fine"
"dang! they're all fine"

Their eyes hungry for this big *** that I'm tired of.

I plead to myself, "just leave you fucken tease!"

Everything is too loud!
with the banging sound!, this banging crowd! and this fucken! cloud blocking my own judgment.

It's a simple girls night out on the dance floor...

Anxiety and low self-esteem
makes it feel like a hunting ground not like my playground.

Truths were talked
truths were texted
worries rang my phone
my worries rang yours

For a year
8am through 4pm
my cheeks ached with a brighter smile

For a year
8am through 4pm
parked car therapy session consisted of us exploring our thoughts in winter along with the warmth that your truck comforted us with

In your car
late night sleeps with you consisted of your cologne
dreamy and sleepy
With you by me

4am
let's go home

my silent whisper,
....I love you best friend

my gentlemen,
fresh and smooth,
led by your hands and feet to join you in your musical beats to dance

time was out of sight and out of mind
carried away by our moment

Another day, anticipated
What is next?

Late night dinner
with your fresh printed patterned shirt along with that clean cut beard and smooth edges

I,
with dresses showing every curve, smooth black hair, cute painted finger nails you like to pick at and hold

carried away by our moment
ready to travel the night

For a year,
temptation crawled our minds
words were never spoken
our brown eyes knew what it wanted
shy maybe?,

biter liquor brought us courage

early morning,
hung and stunned
by courage

Late night drinks
"I don't want this to mess up our friendship"
"you know me more than anyone"

Could I... Be the one?
Is he... the one ?
I feel it in me

your pocket rings

and that moment

...POPS...
.
.
"Hi babe"

****** out of the trance
8pm felt darker  
space felt compacted clothes felt tight
heart shattered
throat knotted

For a year
my truths spoke
my truths texted

For a year
she had you
you had her
and you

..had me