I do not want to see tomorrow.
Nor the day after.
I simply have no desire to.
For I already know what tomorrow holds.
And the day after.
Pain and sorrow.
No joy, no laughter.
More tears.
More heartache.
More surprises, of what could possibly go wrong?
Every time I think to myself,
I have been through it all.
The universe goes,
Wait until you see this.
And I am tired.
I am done.
I have been crying and crying.
No more.
I do not wish to see tomorrow.
Nor the day after.
Not unless tomorrow is my date of death.
I have seen enough birthdays.
Enough to know,
That I want no more.
No more tomorrow.
Nor the day after.

Love, 'tis not real!
For I love someone,
Who shares no love for me.
Does not envision me in that fashion.
How then, can love exist?
How, do I mourn a love never encountered nor experienced?
Forget a kiss never felt upon my lips?
Long for an embrace never lived?
Yet it dwells in my conscience,
Probably permanently.
Close upon constantly.
For I keep pondering,
Where lies my fault?
I am ever grasping for air to breathe.
Love, has never been real, a mere ruse!
For, I love someone.
Yet, they will never love me.
Perhaps, I am deranged.
'Tis my own negligence.
For loving someone,
Who will never see me.
Perhaps, love does exist.
For, I love someone.
I, truly love someone.
I wish someone loved me too.
Love, cannot possibly be real.
For, how can true love be unrequited?
How can real love be loss?
How can love be so lonely?

Since you chose death,
My dearly departed.
It is as though I am alone deserted on planet earth.
You have left me dismayed and disheartened.

The void you leave behind is unimaginable.
I have since not found peace nor slumber.
The pain you leave behind is unbearable,
Since you opted to surrender.

To the death angel, you succumbed;
As you drew your final breath.
Did you think of me when you plunged,
Into the infinite river of death?

Oh, how I wish you were here still.
I curse the mighty death and his kith and kin.
For to have you amongst the living, I would fight and ****.
Although it is yet the greatest sin.

Since death chose you,
And you are now but ash and dust.
I eternally miss you,
And fate is ever unjust.

She takes the most underserving of souls,
Into her black forest of gruesome beasts.
Filled with demons and ghastly ghouls,
Where the reaper feasts and feasts.

No more, is your flesh and bones.
Since you and death now dance together,
To a rhythm of dreadful, wicked woes.
You married the groom of nightfall forever.

And I envy peace and slumber,
For I long and weep for you, until my final hour.

Love, rejected me.
He, keeps on rejecting me.
Love, hates me.
Is love, supposed to hate?
He, does not see me for who I am.
He, does not need me.
He, does not want me.
He, will never want me nor need me.
Why, does love not want me?
Why, does love not need me?
For I, need love.
I, long for him.
How is he even capable of hate?
He is love!
He, does not notice me.
Does not see my heart.
Love, has never chosen me.
I love, love.
I, really do.
I, fantasize about love.
Love does not care for me.
Does not consider me.
Does not acknowledge me.
Never, loves me back.
Keeps, on hurting me.
Ignoring me.
Would he choose me if I was thin?
Is it, because I am fat?
Is, that the reason?
Is, that why I don't deserve love?
Because I am fat?
Why am I not good enough, for love?
Am I ever going to be good enough, for love?
I am tired of trying.
Love, why do you hate me?
Tell me the truth.
Would you rather, I was dead?
Love, please love me back.
Or send someone else, who will.
I am done begging, for love.
I've grown weary from waiting for you to love me.
I would rather be dead, than live without you.
There is no sight of you in my presence.
And it is killing me.
Tell me, what I have to do, to become one with you?
I will do it!
I swear on love, I will do anything.
Why, do you refuse to occupy my heart?
Is it cold?
Does it not beat to a rhythm you desire?
Tell me, for I will fix it.
I will do anything, I swear.
I will be anything you want me to be, I swear.
Just, see me.
I beg of you, see me.
Love me.
See me.
Accept me.
See me.
See me, love.
What do I have to, do to be worthy of you?
Who, do I need to be?

I swear these walls be talking.
They be whispering things about me.
They laughing at me.
All the time.
I swear!
I can hear them.

I'd give anything to never see your face again, for it is torture.
Seeing your face everyday, is torture.
Seeing your face everyday, knowing that I will never wake up to it one day.
I'll never know the touch of your hands.
The warmth of your breath against my neck.
The taste of your soft lips upon mine.
The gaze of your eyes upon mine.
Nor your embrace upon me.
Your husky voice when you wake.
It kills me.
Knowing this, kills me.
I'd rather not exist, than live with this.
I'll never hear you say "I love you".
Never hear you say "I miss you".
Never see you cry.
Never watch you dance.
Never hear you sing.
Never see you holding our son.
How is it that you're not meant for me, when I feel this way about you?
When you reside in my mind permanently to no end?
When I don't see myself with another beside me but you?
How is it possible, to love someone so dearly?
Someone who will never feel the same way?
Surely I am ill.
Surely I despise myself.
Surely I am worth nothing.
Surely you hate me as well.
How do you not see me, the way that I see you?
Surely I am hideous to set eyes upon.
Surely I am no one.
And you are everything to me.
I wish for no one else but you.
I long for no one else but you.
I hate this feeling.
I hate every last bit of it.
I hate you!
I love you, I truly do.
But I hate the way that you make me feel about myself.
About the world.
About love.
About you.
Please release me.
Why won't you die, and release me?
I'll never be free for as long as you live.
Release me.
For God's sake.
Release me.
I am tired.
If you won't die, maybe I should.
I'd rather die than see your face again.
I'd give anything to never see your face again, for it is torture.
Even if if means dying.

I hope he's happy
I hope he's in love
That he's giving it his all
He's not holding back
I hope it ends in a fairly tale for him
And that he finds real love
As for me,
I will heal
And when I finally do
I'll be genuinely happy for him
But for now,
It still hurts