I will heal
And when I do
I will write about it

We're not anything
But I love you
I'm sure of it
You're like a blank canvass
With a story
Yet to be told
But I love you
I'm sure of it
Cause you dwell in my mind
You live in my dreams
When I close my eyes, I see you
When I wake up in the morning
I think of you
Before anything else
We're not anything
We may never be anything
But I love you
I'm sure of it
We're strangers
But I'm so in love with you
The thought of you
What could be
I don't know how to stop
You're trapped inside of my thoughts
I don't know how to let you go
Cause I love you
I'm sure of it
I'm gonna leave this here for you
Maybe some day you'll find it
And you'll know that it's for you

Misery is a pool of blood,
And I am drowning in it.
I can't swim,
To save my life.

Melancholy is a golden necklace,
And I wear it.
Across my neck,
Like a medal.

Regret is a silver bracelet,
And I wear it.
On my wrist,
All the time.

Pain is a glass of chardonnay,
And I sip on it.
Like water,
Every single day.

Depression is my crown,
And I wear it.
Proudly on my head,
Like a prize.

Congratulations to me.
I am the saddest person,
To ever walk the earth.
Finally, I win.

Finally, I am good at something.
I am good at feeling miserable.
Feeling sad and depressed.
Feeling regretful.

Born one thousand nine hundred and, ninety-three years ago today.
I am a millenial.
I turn thirty before May.
I must admit, I am in denial.

Where has the time gone?
It feels like just yesterday,
When I was still young.
When I had my twenty first birthday.

How am I so old?
Yet so unprepared,
For the woes of this world.
Neither seen, nor heard.

Dreams not reached.
Living a life not anticipated.
Dreams forsaken and ditched.
Feeling discriminated,

For being a failure.
I did not ask for this!
At heart, I am a creator,
Yet stuck in a career that brings me no bliss.

How did I get here?
My whole life feels like a mistake.
I wish to disappear.
I need a break.

Thirty years.
Three decades.
A million tears.
Time burns faster than flames.

And I am through with it all.
My ******* have sagged.
My twenties are now stuck behind some wall.
I miss the life I could have had.

Born one thousand nine hundred and ninety-three years ago today.
I am a millenial.
I turn thirty before May.
I must admit, I am in denial.

If my loneliness could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired of you.
Get some friends!"

If my depression could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired of you.
Get some antidepressants!"

If my anxiety could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired of you.
Take a chill pill!"

If my sorrow could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired of you.
Find some happiness!"

If my bank account could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired of you.
Find a side hustle!"

If my career could talk;
It would say,
"Girl, bye.
Where is the bag we've been chasing?"

If my ****** could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired of you.
Get a ****. Seriously!"

If my car could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired.
Upgrade already!"

If my liver could talk;
It would say,
"*****, we're tired.
Find a new coping mechanism!"

If my brain could speak;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired.
Stop thinking!"

If my stomach could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired.
Stop over eating!"

If my lungs could talk;
They would say.
"Girl, stop.
Stop with them cigarettes!"

If my phone could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired.
Get a life!"

If alcohol could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired.
Leave me the **** alone, your body is rejecting me!"

If my body could talk;
It would say,
"Girl, I'm overweight.
Please hit the gym!"

If the color black could talk;
It would say,
"*****, I'm tired.
Wear something else!"

If my heart could talk;
It would say,
"Girl, forget him.
He ain't ****!"

If my future could talk;
It would say,
"Girl, hold on.
Better days are coming!"

If my hopes and dreams could talk;
They would say,
"***** what the actual ****?
Where are we? What is this place?"

If natural disaster was to call.
And we were all to fall.
Will there be anyone left?
To log into our phones,
And read our unposted;
Thoughts.
Poems.
Playlist songs.
Prayers.
Notes.
To do lists.
Bucket lists.
Wishlists.
Uncleared shopping carts.
Liked videos.
Saved videos.
Favorite videos.
Watch later.
Retweeted.
Loved.
Reposted.
Unfiltered pictures.
DIY projects.
Ten minute crafts.
Absolute must haves.
Spend the day with mes.
Get ready with mes.
Food orders.
Takealot orders.
Amazon orders.
Day in the life.
What I feed my dog in a day.
What I eat in a day.
Daily vlogs.
Daily blogs.
Unread texts.
Check ins.
Drafts.
Downloads.
Watch lists.
Google history.
Unread emails.
Tinder matches.
Netflix must watch.
Gen Z versus millenials.
Private subscriptions.
And think to themselves,
What the actual f**k?
What happened to us?
What has the world become?
Personally,
I hope he writes the new Bible.
What would God think?

Floods are coming.
I hope you drown first,
Before everyone else.
Storms are calling.
I hope you get stuck first,
Before everyone else.
For not responding,
To my texts.