Good day Sir!
Please kindly help me.
I am lost.
I am looking for the road to salvation.
Where there's aspiration and elevation.
Please point me in the right direction.
Where can I find real happiness?
Where can I stumble upon real love?
Do I turn left or right?
Go straight on and continue to fight?
Until I see the light?
Please help me kind sir, I've been seeking all my life.
I've been to the after life.
Searching and pleading.
Bruised, broken and bleeding.
Knelt in the middle of the road and prayed,
But it seems I have been betrayed,
By God's word and my faith.
I've been sent on a wild goose chase.
I've been lurking for days.
On this path to deliverance.
In pursuit of paradise.
I have been lost for so long.
Trying to find where I belong.
I've met demons who led me astray.
And angels who helped pave my way.
I'm exhausted from walking,
I've grown weary from wandering.
My soles are covered in blisters.
People mocking me, I hear their whispers.
"Look at her shoes.
Is this the life she would choose?"
They are whispering so softly,
Yet so loud.
I am beginning to question my sound mind.
People are cruel, yet you seem kind.
Please help me.
I am sorry to disturb your peace,
You're so lucky to have found it.
Have you traveled this route before?
Is there a shorter way? Tell me more.
My feet refuse to carry me any further.
My heart is as light as a feather.
I've run out of breath.
I'm on the verge of death.
Please say you can help me.
I am lost.
I am looking for the road to salvation.
Where there's aspiration and elevation.
Please point me in the right direction.
I've been told that I am the chosen one.
That I shall break the chains of generations to come.
But how can I?
I am so lost.

Self-healing
Self-awareness
Self-discovery
Self-discipline
Self-love
Self-acceptance
Tis all about self
It all begins with thy self

Selfish
Self-sabotage
Self-harm
Self-destruction
Low self-esteem
Self-disbelief
Tis all about self
It all ends with thy self

Ubuhle bakho took my breath away
Your smile hypnotized me
Amehlo wakho rocked my world
Your sweet voice made the earth move
It was on that day
Ngala suku when I first laid eyes on you
Such beauty
Such charm
Such exquisiteness
Skin so fair it glittered
I swear on that day
Ngala suku as your feet touched the ground I heard the angels cry
I was marveled by such style
Such class, such excellence
My heart leapt in excitement
As I adored your elegance
Your lips had me enchanted
So soft, so sublime...
I couldn't believe my eyes
It felt like a dream only it was in bright daylight
I swear on that day
Ngala suku I saw the sun smile at your angelic face
A body so divine, well-refined
Ravishing, breath-taking, just splendid
I saw the clouds follow you as you paced in a rhythm
The day brightened as your I felt your presence
I swear on that day
Ngala suku even the trees and the birds were astonished by your striking image
Your brown eyes mesmerized me
Your aura, your aroma, your walk...
Captivated me
I swear on that day
Ngala suku I saw God's most artistic design
A splitting image of supremacy
I've never seen such perfection
Except for on that day
Ngala suku when I first saw you

Does loneliness ****?
Is it fatal?
Surely I'll be dead soon.
Or I'll jump off a hill.

Does loneliness talk?
Can it hold a conversation?
I'm certain I can hear it's voice.
I do nothing but sulk.

Is it a disease?
I feel sick.
It's like I'm going mad.
When does it cease?

Is it possible to feel so empty?
When there's billions of people.
Could I possibly die alone?
With no one to save me.

Hey! Friend.
I know we haven't talked in a while.
It's been a minute.
I've been so distant.
I've been so caught up.
I've been avoiding catching up.
Because catching up means:"How are you?"
"How have you been?"
For the life in me,
I don't know how to answer that question.
Because I am not okay.
But I don't know how to say,
That I'm not okay.
That life is a hurricane.
That all I feel is pain.
That I am holding on by a thread.
That I wish I was dead.
I don't want to burden you,
With all this negative energy around me.
I'd rather you don't know how I am,
And assume that I am okay.
Than me telling you that I am not okay.
Don't ask me how I am doing.
Don't ask me how I have been.
Cause I can't give you that answer.
Not without falling apart.
Not without breaking my heart.
It hurts.
Everything hurts.
And I can't describe it.
I can't express it.
I am numb.
I have succumbed,
To the darkness.
To the sadness.
So forgive me, but I can't tell you how I am.
I can't tell you how I am really.
I can't tell you that it's better.
Or that I'm no longer bitter,
About things that hurt me in the past.
That I never talk about, but haven't healed from.
I can't tell you cause you'd expect that I've healed by now.
I've moved on by now.
It happened years ago.
But I haven't.
And I can't tell you why.
Simply because I don't know why.
So I'm sorry if you feel like I have changed.
I've become estranged.
But there's emotions I can't put into words.
There's demons I can't escape from.
So it's better if I don't mention them.
So I avoid the question: "How are you?"
When I see those words, my mind starts racing.
Because that's when I remember that I am not okay.
I don't know if I will ever be okay.
I'm sorry if this hurts you.
But trust me, it hurts me more.
It hurts me that my world is so gloomy.
Unfortunately this is my reality.
And I embrace the darkness.
I confide in the darkness.
I'm friends with the darkness.
I don't expect you to understand.
And I'm not asking for your sympathy.
All I ask is that you don't ask me how I am.
Because I don't know how am.
Don't ask me how things are going,
Cause things aren't going.
I'm in a stationary ship.
Until I'm in a brighter place, mentally.
Emotionally.
Physically.
I can't tell you how I am.
So please, don't ask me how I am.

Spiritual awakening.
Is this the end or the beginning?

I'm confused.
Deepest parts of me bruised.

I've lost all that used to matter.
My mind is in clutter.

What is the meaning of this?
What kind of sick game is this?

I'm being torn from the inside out.
Chills from sincere drought.

I long for clarity.
For prosperity.

I don't seek popularity.
I don't need charity.

I'm stuck in solidarity.
Stripped off my identity.

Who am I ?
How do I get by?

I'm all alone.
Every one has come and gone.

Spiritual awakening.
Rude awakening.

I'm barely breathing.
Like a baby teething.

I'm in so much pain.
I'm going insane.

I'm losing my mind.
I can see but I'm blind.

Open my third eye already.
I am more than ready.

I pray you heal
From whatever ordeal
Whatever happened
That had your spirit dampened
May you find deep healing
May you find deep meaning
May your spirit be free
Free to the highest degree
May you never again feel unbearable pain
May you never again shed tears from strain
I pray you have all the strength
Enough to defeat even death
May you be mighty and strong
May you live long
To tell your tale
And drink the best ale
May others be inspired by your story
I pray you see all your glory
Above all,
I pray you find happiness
Please hang in there
And know that I am here