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Nikita Tshawe Jun 2020
A life growing inside me
I don't want it
I don't need it
Not yet Lord
Forgive me for I'm about to sin
Thank you for your gift
But sadly, I'd like to return it please
Not because I'm ungrateful
Not because I don't respect life
But not now
Please not now
Age says i'm ready
My body says i'm ready
But I am not
I can't do it
Bring a human to life?
Nurture and care for her?
Not now
Love her and provide for her needs?
Console her when she cries?
Tell her it will be alright?
Hold her till she falls asleep?
Not now
Forgive me Lord
For I am about to sin
I am about to send this life
You have gracefully placed in my womb
Back to the heavens to be with You
I think You will take better care of her
Than I ever will
Nikita Tshawe Jun 2020
Black lives matter
My life matters

You can't **** me because of my color
My life is valuable like any other
I don't deserve to be punished or to suffer
For being a person of color
Your actions are viscous, your words are ******
You dishonor my origin and my culture
I was made in God's image
Don't be fooled by your privilege
I bleed the same way that you do
I am as human as you
Why do you hate me?
What makes you want to hate me?
You don't even know me
Yet you find me appalling
Your hatred towards me is alarming
I am not a criminal
Your issues with me are purely political

Black lives matter
My life matters

This is a sensitive issue to many like you
Controversial yet the question is long overdue
Why do you hate me?
What have I done to make you hate me?
I've done you no wrong, sir
I don't even know you, sir
I can't breathe, sir
Please get your knee off of my neck, sir
Is it me you fear or my greatness
How I thrive regardless
Of your contempt towards me
Your resentment towards me
Is it really me you hate?
Or is it yourself you loathe the most?
Is it my soft melanin skin
That offends you and pushes you to sin?
You'd rather **** me
Than admire me
You'd rather step on me
Than accept me
How dare you despise God's own creation?
Do you not pray to the same God for salvation?
Do you not praise His name and call Him the creator of all life?
Yet you see no substance to my life
Is it God you hate then?
For creating me, because I'm certainly not to blame
My life is not yours for the taking
I am God's very own making

My life matters
I matter

Black lives matter
Nikita Tshawe May 2020
His love
His love
It is magnificent

It is made of pure gold
A  beautiful story untold
We let it unfold
Let it overflow

He is the closest thing to perfection
He fulfills my every satisfaction
Exceeds my every expectation
He sees beyond my every imperfection

This is real love filled with doses of passion
Love that never grows out of fashion
Love filled with dashes of compassion
Love that never demands any kind of compensation

He loves me
He adores me

When we make love, the earth quivers
My body trembles, it shivers
While he is rock hard and climbs me like a mountain
As I erupt like a bottomless fountain

Yes, he makes me ******
Winds my body like a sax
Love racing through my core
As I beg him for more and more
Of his love

I've never truly felt anything like it
Never really seen anything like it
It feels unreal
Like a delightful dream

I pray this never ever ends
Not just lovers, but two best friends
I love everything about him
Nothing I'd ever change about him

His smile is majestic
His laugh is poetic
His emotions are authentic
His body is magnetic

It draws me in
It locks me in
His touch, so smooth
His ambition filled youth

Everything about him shouts love
His love
Is magnificent

Being with him feels so natural
Being around him feels so magical
It's like I'm in a film sequel
And he is my equal

He's become apart of me from limb to limb
A soft kiss from me to him
Stolen glances
My soul dances
To the rhythm of his heart beat
He's my favorite song on repeat
Never misses a beat

Never fails to excite me
Happiness is him beside me
Peace is his arms around me
Love is him inside me

I love him
I adore him

His love
His love is different
It is magnificent
Nikita Tshawe Apr 2020
Here's what I wish for you,
That you find yourself once again.
That you escape from your past.
Get up once again.
Shake off the dust.
It doesn't matter how hard you fell.
How much you think you have lost.
You can be who you once were,
And even better than before.
It's up to you.
Show up every day.
Work on yourself in every way.
The one person you can never give up on,
Is you.
The one person you should never disappoint,
Is you.
It's not too late.
It's never too late.
Every day is a new chance.
Make a new choice.
You don't have to stay stuck where you are.
You can get up from your fall.
It's okay.
The universe will take care of you,
If you take care of you.
It doesn't matter who left,
Who changed,
Who hurt you.
It's time to get up now.
You've been lying there for some time now.
You've burnt a hole in the ground that reflects your shape.
It's time to get up now.
Pour sand in the hole you've drilled with your tears,
And seal it for good.
You can't fall in that hole again.
It's time to get up.
Take my hand.
Please get up.
Nikita Tshawe Apr 2020
Corona virus
From China, to Italy, to Spain and even Cyprus
You meneaver through cities, through countries and continents
Whether servants, residents or even infants
Everyone is at risk, I have to admire your competence
I weep for those in denial still showing signs of ignorance and resistance
A killing machine is what you are, your excellence
You demand the whole world to bow down to you or suffer in abundance
Your bring chaos in each of your movements
You have the universe in lock down in small compartments
This is by far one of  God's greatest punishments
Whether you came from bats, cats or rodents
You are deadly and us your weakest opponents
You have every soul trembling at your name, shaking parliaments
I truly, truly admire your commitment
To end all life possible, whether civilian or reinforcement
We witness a global crisis and fear of sky high unemployment
While we lack hope, excitement and enjoyment
Many face retrenchment and bouncing cheques for monthly installment
Whilst the economy is devoured through travel ban and no trade arrangement
Whilst our currencies grow weaker and weaker to our detriment
Whilst the poor die in out patient
You continue to punish and torment
Because you find it so convenient
Whilst we have no words left of encouragement
Beating you would be our greatest accomplishment
Women and children praying for victory and enlightenment
Yet the rising number of cases and deaths their daily discouragement
Each day ends in despair and disappointment
Each day you take life with no regret or sentiment
Dear God, please forgive us for sin and infringement
Give us this day to lament and repent
Let this not be our final days of judgment
Deliver us from the Corona virus
May we be free once again and prosperous
Please, don't let this destroy us
We plead for your mercy, please don't ignore us
You God, are our last hope to salvation
Save us, let us once more taste liberation
We promise to cherish it and never show deviation
From your path, your commandments and regulation
We promise to stay true and abide to your interdiction
We are your children and forever in need of your protection
Please let us live and fulfill your expectation
We cry out to you as a nation
May our tears fall into your arms of understanding
Your love is faithful and everlasting
May we remain among the living
Surely, our crimes are worth forgiving

"Our father who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil
For thine is the kingdom
The power and the glory
Forever and ever
Amen "
Nikita Tshawe Mar 2020
I don't care how we met
Don't care how far we may get

You make me feel things I've never felt before
Makes me want you more and more
Your smile, your face, your soft beard
This is exactly what I've always feared
A man who makes me loose control
Touches every single slither of my soul

I don't care how we met
For I know it's not over just yet

The mere sight of your body pleases me
The mere taste of your lips hypnotizes me
It is like I am floating on warm ice
This is real love and I am paying the price
This is what an ****** feels like
This is what loving a real man feels like

I don't care where we met
This is as good as it may get
Nikita Tshawe Feb 2020
Fear of failing
Fear of falling
Fear

Fear of giving up
Fear of letting go
Fear

Fear that I may not have the strength
Fear that I may not have enough faith
Fear

Consumed by fear
Imprisoned by fear
Weary of fear

Fear of dying
Before I make it through
I am trying

To stay faithful and true
Keep my head above the misty dew
But I fear

I fear
I fear for tomorrow
I fear endless sorrow

Fear that I may die alone
Fear that I  may never see these tears gone
Fear

Fear of becoming nothing
Fear that I may never achieve something
Fear

Fear of being no one
Fear of being loved by no one
Fear

Fear that I may never see the light
Fear that I may never win this fight
Fear

I fear for my life
I am scared to give
Anymore of me to fear

Fear
Fear I may never overcome my fears
Never see my happy years

Fear
I am my deepest fear
Fear of losing everything I hold dear
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