Watching my dreams die and turn into scattered dust.
Covered in mortifying shame and sinful lust.
My soul wandering, slithering around broken.
The angels have me lost and forsaken.
These tears and sorrows are my chains.
I am bleeding inside from these chest pains.
It's myself I resent the most.
It's myself I blame the most.
How could I be so weak and vulnerable?
Seems I'm not at all worthy or lovable.
Yes, the amount of self pity is considerable.
But I somehow find it comforting and it's comfortable.
Being constantly intolerably miserable.
So undeniably alone it's unexplainable.
Inner peace seems so far and unattainable.
The depth of the damage inside is irrecoverable.
What haunts me most is that I am the one responsible.
The desire to perish and leave it all behind is unstoppable.
Is it possible that redemption and light is possible?

God I need you now more than ever.
In your word You promised to stay by my side forever.
Your word promises eternal love and amity.
Stay with me for all eternity and show me peace and serenity.
Help me live a life of purpose and fulfillment.
Help me release all the doubt and resentment.

Lord I need Your presence in my life.
I bring my burden to you and my endless strife.
Unburden me Dear God and carry me under your wings.
Heal me of the world's pains and stings.
In You I place my hope and my trust.
Save me from sin and unjust.

Dear God my heart is broken and I feel weak.
Your strength and guidance is all I seek.
I know that You are always true and faithful.
I know that You watch over me and I am forever grateful.
Dear God please hear my cry for salvation.
Dear God please hear my call for redemption.

This is for you.

This is for the woman with a heart of pure gold.
The young, strong, beautiful and bold.
This is for the sister with tears in her eyes,
Her striking smile still shines.
Hiding all the ache and affliction.
Behind that smile close to perfection,
Is a mother with a broken heart.
Praying for her home not to fall apart.
Husband not so true to his vows that he made in front of God.
Crumbling before her eyes is her whole world.
This is for the girl with a bruised face.
Holding back the tears as she stares into space.
Someone who claims to love her harmed her in that way.
He keeps saying sorry but today is the same as it was yesterday.
This is for the teenage girl who got *****,
Wishing she could have escaped.
She notices her body starting to change,
He growing stomach seems strange.
Another teenage parent,
This is how she fell pregnant,
She fell victim to the most painful crime,
By someone whom she trusted this time.
This is for the unemployed single mother.
Trying to raise her kids with a deceased husband and father.
Striving for every meal,
In the most terrible ordeal.
This is for all the strong ladies out there.
Who live through all the pain and fear.
And for every time you shed a tear,
God is observing.
So don't stop preserving.
You are the heart of the nation.
God's most loved creation.
Forgive all the brothers who wounded you.
For the skies are still blue.
And you are the heart of the nation.
God's most powerful creation.

Happiness!
Oh sweet cheerful happiness.

You're so far to reach.
You're impossible to teach.

How does one get to you?
How does one achieve you?

I have tried all the positive thinking.
All the joyful singing.

Do I not deserve you?
Am I not fit to have you!?

Am I not worthy of you?
Tell me what I have to do?

Am I too sad to attract you?
Am I not ready to receive you ?

You never seem to show up.
I'm always just so ******* up.

My relationship with you is unhealthy happiness.
Some days you show but only for a split second and no less.

I want you in my life happiness.
I need you in my life happiness.
As God is my witness.
Save me from this illness,
That is in my mind and all this craziness.
Please I beg of you happiness.

Come to me and erase all this sadness
Save me from my unhappiness

I'm tired of feeling all this loneliness.
I'm walking around faceless,
From all the pretence of my fake happiness.
I long for the real you happiness.

Show your face, where are you happiness!?
Without you I feel so meaningless.
My life seems to be so worthless.
I feel lack of direction and passiveness.

I find no reason to be passionate.
I feel weak and helpless

Oh happiness,
Sweet cheerful happiness.

He finds joy in bringing me down.
He likes nothing more than to see me frown.
He takes pleasure in my tears.
It's been this way for years.
He abuses me emotionally
He hurts me intentionally.
Calls me fat and all types of names.
He likes to play these awful games.
He likes to cause me pain.
I reckon it keeps him sane.
To see me bleed internally.
He won't see my hurt externally,
But deep inside it burns like hell fire.
He's a cheater and a blatant liar.
He likes to see me down on the ground.
And he'll kick me further down without a sound.
I never truly realized it until now,
But it's like he wants me dead somehow.
He is my lover.
But I guess it's over.
I guess so because he doesn't love me anymore.
Not like he used to before.

I am so sorry.
It was nothing, you don't have to worry.
I can explain.
Please let me explain.
You see he texted me, and told me he that misses me.
Told me he missed everything, like how he kisses me.
My senses began to weaken.
As he had me taken.
So I let him come over.
Although you were my lover.
But you were not there.
And here he was pretending to care.
So he talked to me until I got tired.
He knows how my body is wired.
I walked into my bedroom as he followed me.
I laid on my bed as he laid right next to me.
He started to kiss me slowly and passionately.
He started to pull on my clothes unexpectedly.
Next thing I knew he was on top of me.
Before I could say a word, he was already inside of me.
I couldn't fight the feeling he was giving to me.
As he kept thrusting in me, and thrusting.
I realized that I was too trusting.
Next thing I knew he busted in me.
And it hit me that I just cheated on you.
I just broke everything I built with you.
I'm sorry that I cheated on you.
I'm sorry that temptation got the better of me.
Believe me when I say he doesn't matter to me.
A moment of weakness is all it was.
A state of bleakness is all it was.
Please don't leave me. Stay.
I'm sorry I went that astray.
I am so sorry.
It meant nothing. You don't have to worry.

I believe you will rise again.
Against all odds you shall reign.
It's not over. Not yet. Not now.
Reclaim your throne so they can bow.
You've been to hell and back.
You've fallen off track,
More times than you could ever count.
A million times you've been burnt out.
Your soul is exhausted beyond measure.
You have lost all you used to treasure.
Chin up.
Show up.
Rise again.
You deserve nothing but to forever reign.
Don't fall prey to the hurt and pain.
Your demise is how they gain.
It's what they want to see.
Your ashes scattered across the sea.
But you are stronger than that, aren't you?
You won't give them that satisfaction, will you?
No you won't.
Not in this lifetime you won't!
You won't because you will rise again.
No matter what comes your way, you will reign.
All hail!
All hail!
She has risen again!
She is here to reign!
Here they stand before your feet.
Your friends and foes gathered in one fleet.
Those who wished for your self destruction.
Are here for your new introduction.
The one who has risen again.
Long may she reign!