My demons
They consume me
My body, mind and spirit
No living being could ever comprehend
I could scream at the top of  the highest mountain
Bringing out my loudest vocal cord
No one will hear me
Even God Himself
The one who created me
He can’t save me
I don’t have control of my own thoughts anymore
Another force has taken over my life
I pray to God
And the dead
To help me
Save me
Lead me into the light
All I see is the darkness
I lay awake all night
Staring into these walls
As if they have the answers
The split second I fall asleep
I see them
Things I don’t want to see
Things of the darkness
Save me!
Somebody
Anybody
Please save me!
From my mind
From the pain
From the confusion
These demons
They demand my attention
I fear the unknown
I see the unseen
Blurry visions of the future
Encrypted dreams of the past and the present
That I can’t interpret
I wake up in a new body
Day by day
I can feel my being drifting from my soul
Day by day
Make it go away
I want to feel like a person again
I want to feel love and respect

Lost and alone.
So much to offer,
Yet so little faith.
No self-belief.
So much potential,
Yet so much pain.

25. Where has the time gone?
Where are the blessings and fortunes,
We were promised in our young days?
Work hard they said.
Those who don't give up shall prosper,
They said.
Our mothers told us we are the kings and queens.
We deserve nothing but the best.

But 25 years later,
Of working hard.
Giving it our all.
Yet no luck.
Days are dark.
Friends are few.
No one is true.
Where is the happiness,
They assured us?

25. You should be married by now.
What have you achieved?
What are you working towards?
Where do you see yourself in the future?
Why are you not doing anything?
What is wrong with you?
Why are you not like other kids?
They ask.


25. Half way to 50.
So young,
Yet so old.
So many decisions to make,
Yet so little time.
Not enough resources,
To make it through.

25. Don't give up.
You are 25.
You still have time.
It gets better.
They all say.
But what if I don't see the light?
Do I hold on to the darkness,
And pray to see the sun?

25. So much to live for,
Yet suicidal thoughts,
Are more and more regular.
Prayers are less and less.
Am I praying to the walls?
Is there a God?
Where is He?

25. Unanswered prayers,
And self-doubt.
Could there be other forces,
Bringing me down ?
Forcing me in to the darkness ?
Who do I pray to?
For salvation and light.

25. I have been waiting for you.
I have been picturing you all my life.
And you are not what I imagined.
At all.
You are confusing.
You are filled with dullness.
You make me not want to live anymore,
25.

So many questions.
No valid answers.
People just say what they want.
No true direction.
Not real inspiration.
And I see other 25s,
They have it figured out.
Who did they pray to?

25. No compelling purpose.
On a path of despair.
A path to depression,
And anxiety.
A gloomy route to hopelessness.
When you lay down you can hear,
Your demons whisper.
Are they ever going to leave me alone?
These demons?

25. I am not fond of you.
You make me want to turn back the time,
And choose not to never meet you.
What will my mama do if she found me,
Dead in my shower because of you.
And your beasts.
I have had enough of you,
25.