There was a young man called Norman Bates,

who ran a Motel in the States,

A swamp at the rear, gave Norman some cheer,

Himself and his Mother never looked back.

I joined M16, in 1915 ,
I heard they were looking for a Spy,
I didn't get far, got sacked at the bar,
when I clocked up a bill,
and charged it to ' Golden Eye '.

There was a young man from Macroom,

Who thought he could fly on a Broom,

He left in the  night, with a scream of delight,

Now he is in a Hospital room.

Oh, to be in Knocknagree, where the beer is cheap,

and the women are free.

You can travel all over Ireland,

but seldom will you see,

The Lakes  and Castles, round Knocknagree.


Wild Mountain Hares, traipse through the street,

on their way to the Hanging Babylon Gardens,

Where a tress of hair, from a Princess,

the locals in secrete keep.


Darby O' Gill and the little people,

built Tigeens (Houses ) near the ' Rainbow's Wishing Stream ',

But the County Council put property tax on them,

and put a full stop , to their little Dreams.


  By Holly Barrett

There was a young Pole from Gdansk,

who went to Ireland, looking for romance,

What he found on arrival. the girls were all tribal,

and fought for , what was inside his Pants.


Holly Barrett

I cried for three days, when Maureen O´Hara died
>
> her Hazel brown eyes, drove me insane,
>
> those flaming Red curls of Auburn hair,
>
> legs as slender as the falling rain.
>
>
> Treasured memories of herself and Wayne ,
>
> The Quiet Man, will never be the same.
>
> a twinkle in her eye, a sparkle in her teeth,
>
> The star played the ball, had the world at her feet.
>
>
> As the years rolled on, Maureen's flame began to wane,
>
> Arthritis set in, she was in a lot of pain.
>
> when the final curtain fell, we swore in Vain,
>
> We´d never , ever get an Irish Red Setter again.

Finnerty and Fogherty

met Hudson and Cookson

riding on their Tandem

two miles East of Annascaul.


Hudson and Cookson

wore no clothes at all,

startled to see,two men

sitting on a wall.


Giggling an Peddling, past

onto the brow of a hill

they came upon an old man

who pretended to be ill.


Alighting from their Tandem

they rushed onto his side

he pulled out his wallet

and asked them for a ride.


Shocked and Mortified,

the girls began to Chide

He replaced his bulging Folder

He began to cry

'' I  haven' t  rode a Tandem ''

since I was a wee little boy.


         BY the Evergreen  Holly Barrett

I've never been published, my work is dead.

I can't see an Oscar up in the mantle piece, or beside the bed.

Even a posthumous award might do.

Provided they tell me in lieu.


I'd be the first in the world to have a posthumous Award,

whilst still alive, they can take it back when i die.

I've been nominated 29 times before,

from the schizophrenic, who lives next door,

he has never read any of my books, his eyesight is bad,

It's just the few 'bob' I give him for a few drinks,

makes him think they must be good.


  I may send three chapters of my latest novel, to Harvey Weinstein.

    " Mushrooms come and go , but you are forever "

It's about a serial killer who owns and works in a Mushroom factory,

  He kills only Dwarf's, and uses their chopped up bodies as compost,

for his mushroom factory, he then makes one big mistake,

He falls in love, with a male Dwarf,and stops his killing spree.


  The Mushrooms eventually revert back to their normal compost,

  but taste awful,.. A Romanian community living in Tralee,

report the foul tasting mushrooms to the Police , and.......

  The poison Dwarf eventually runs away with Oscar Pistorius,

who is out on Bail, they become shoe Salesmen,

and live unhappily  ever after.


This is the big one , I can see it reaching the number one best sellers list,

   from New York to Caherciveen,  This book is not just for Dwarf's and  

Iron leg killers,  nor Mushroom lovers..


  By Holly Barrett