I'm not a misogynist by a long shot, in fact i'm  au contraire, which means

the opposite for those of you who are ignorant like me ,

and had to look it up.

My question is, and I'm coming from a European Country viewpoint., Spain,

Why are so many young girls and women, intent on making themselves

look unattractive...? Every second female has either a 'ring on their nose,

or have blackened their slender legs and arms with Tattoos.

Some have even gone and shaved half their head, making them look

like a Mohican.

One woman I saw on the beach, had the painful face of Christ over her *******.

he had  his crown of thorns on  and was bleeding .

Now how could you possibly make love to a woman like that,

Not in the ******* anyway....


To me , as I'm very old fashioned, a woman should smell alluring,

and not like an Ashtray of Marlborough  stub ends .

As most women in Spain smoke,

So there you are trying to make love to a smelly stale smoker ,

staring at the face of Christ,  and admiring the rest of her Tattoos

in various places in her body .

I'm coming , but don't wait up for me.

My Boss , for whom I could never do enough work, said,

" Never  make two trips, if one will suffice,

hard work never killed anyone , that's my advice "

He seldom said it once , but nearly always twice.


One day in a lull , between sandwiches and rice,

I got my opportunity to open his eyes.

" Listen Boss " I said with venom in my voice.

" When I was born in 1947, my poor Mother almost cried,

my Father turned to her, with sadness in his eyes"


" Just look at poor Michael, we'll call him Michael,

he was born with only two arms , and two legs,

and one pair of eyes, But lookit, we'll keep him anyway,

Maybe one day, someone will be able to make use of him,

get as much work out of him , for the minimum wage "


The Boss looked at me, and then at his watch,

  " The tea break is over , now get back to work ,

I must have a word , with our paymaster,

Since when  did you get a rise, to the minimum wage  Jasper "

Blackie the cat has gotten old, it's time to say goodbye,

my heart is broke,  after all the pleasure he gave,

17, long years, we miss him now , and he's still here.

What's it going to be like, looking at an empty chair. !


On death row, he sleeps, he dose'nt  know ; bliss

a date was chalked down, a reprieve turned up,

Cold feet, and trembllng   hands we called the Vet,


" Can you wait till next week, he is still our  pet ".

Arthritis, Diabetes , Cataracts , and that's only me ,

the cat is worse, he can hardly see.

All his health problems, can disappear,

when he looks up, and Miow's in your ear.


By Holly Barrett