My body and his created life
Many times
Lacking knowledge nor sympathy of our act
Courage was vain or did not exist
No conviction to be of concern
The venal pack was established
It was a simple way. Never knew
Oblivious to the ceaseless force within crying to be reckoned with
I marinated rejection
Eternal imprints of discarded spirits on this earth.
I thought there were no repercussions
In my silence
I hear the echoes of their disrupted souls speak
How do I respond?

Emerge……Forward……Left……Right………Backward………Still

Learn………Learn……F­orward…………Sideways……Lay

Down………………Forget it………

Stand up………Forgot………………………Repeat

Start……Stop………End………Try again……

Try again………Try………………Again

Stop………Try again.........Stop

Try again…………

Start………………………Learn………………………Grow……………………

Fail…………………Fear………………Self…………………Gratitude………

Grow………Try again……Grow…………Try………………Again……

Start…………Stop…………Start………End………T­ry again……………

Confused

Stop………Try again…………Try again……………Try again

Try………Again…………No………Cry……

Start………Stop…………Doubt

Can’t………Tears………

Exhaustion…………Isolation­………Depression

End?

End?

Rest……………………………………

Believe……Try………Up…­..…Up………Down……Up…Up………

Up………

Down………………Float………………………Learn

See­k…………Meet…………… Laugh……………Dance……Dream………

Found………Love

Happiness………Complete…………­…………Secure………………………

Insecure

Fear…………Anger……………

Ego……………………………­………………………………

Sad………………………Done

Courage………………Seek………Seek………Meet……Repeat………

Meet…………Repeat

Acce­pt……………Learn……………Laughter……………More

Laughter…………

Hilarious…………Ridiculous…………Aware………………………………

Gro­wth…………Aware………………Gratitude…………………

Peace……………………

Joy…………Content­………Pain………Joy……Content……Pain……

Pain……

Alone……………………………Time……………­………………………

Age……………Invisible…………Fear………Need…Meet…Pain…Pain…

Pain……Reflect­ion

Solace……Memories…………Need………………Loneliness………

Acceptance……Fai­th

Reflection

Forgiveness

Wisdom

Death

What

Wow

Rise………………­……………………………………………

When I saw him last,
He wore grey bananas on his feet
He had a pirate’s hat between his teeth
Long last the man from Oliver Kitten arrived on the shores of my head
How was he to bring such a large basket of straws and ask me to bloom a white rose
You have been back he said with a twirl of a red gem
Yellow kittens for my pleasure,
Only one black dog
Keep roaring up the hill, don’t stop
Take the bottom off the wheel
You won’t need it soon
You are on your way down
The pink parade will catch your fall
Dolphins everywhere
Even under my old brown coat

The boiling egg overflows
The emaciated carcass expels the residue of what remained from its skeletal cracks.
The foul indignation pours into my thoughts at the audacity of
What has been imposed
I lay quietly as the seams of my skull expand and then contract to the heat of the blood pulsating furiously through my black veins
I run my fingers through my coarse hair, uneven, and abrasive to the touch. Defiant to be reckoned with.
Strong willed
Wild and free
I am reminded in haste that your eyes are offended by the coils of my tree
But I remind you of the truth,
That you are from deep within the core of me.
You ripped me from sacred ground but you have forgotten that I am
The seed.
You have worked diligently to reject and defile me, but I am your
Reflection that you choose to not see.
In elimination of the self, you have emptied the soul.
Tears stain the red clay from which gave birth to me
But I am here in this native land that you have pilfered.
I am a discarded pawn, an orphan with no root that will embrace me
The regret should come as the present teacher. Not as the dead
Reminder
I rise, but to your flagrant occasion
I covet the bone straight dead threads on top of my head.
I ask for forgiveness to all that came before.
They lie in my shame
I pick up the keys and head for the office
It’s only Tuesday
I secretly smile as I am reminded
You Were
You Are
And You Will Always
Be Me

As you walk without hesitation
Without gratitude
Seemingly without fear

As you walk back to your place of power and privilege
You still require her to smile

As you walk past the place of humanity
Brokenness
Echoes of shattered glass
You still require her to smile

As you walk back to your place of power and privilege
Her silent screams and muffled dreams are washed away,
By the vault of indifference that slams behind you
Yet you still require her to smile

She tires of the preparation of containment and suppression
But she is the Host
The Meal
The Entertainment
The Pleasure
Her belly aches of rich food and white wine.
It no longer matters that her soul is absent from this feast
  
She gathers her body
Stained and sweaty from your momentary remembrance of her
The violation puddles in quiet places
She submits to a place of self-loathing

As she knows that this is not the last of Green Men
That will require her to smile

Woke up this morning waiting to die
Misery and time never fly by
There were so many haunting shadows,
often lingering way too long, in this journey of mine
Most of them loathing and dark, but a few stood out and shined
I was always looking the wrong way it seems, looking for unreal dreams
Finding wisdom only after the sorrow and torment removed all life from me
So either they left, or my mind could no longer stay, fearing my loss of sanity
So here, I sit void
My mind endlessly wandering through time
Pondering that deliverance into madness will be surely divine
My soul is shackled, suffocating and struggling in vain
My principal charge is managing the pain
I observe others around me
All with hope to cling to
Someone to cling to
I have nothing
No one

I woke up this morning waiting to die.