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900 · Jun 2019
Dear Gabi
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
*******.

I thought you had my back, but you’re just another ******* *** on a pole.

My (now ex) boyfriend's pole more specifically.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s a disgusting, slimy, broken cunting pathetic dirtrag if there ever existed, but you?

******* Gabi.

I hate you. You’re the reason he left me in hopeful scatters down my never-ending driveway. You’re the reason I cry myself to sleep at 3 in the morning. You’re the reason I wake up shaking so ferociously I spew what little I could eat on the bed where we made love.

Fitting isn’t it?

******* Gabi.

Even your name makes my bones wants to explode into pieces that fill you with holes where your *****'s blood is washed away like sewerage.

******* Gabi.

And the fact that you have something I don’t.

******* Gabi.

I hope your children die before you get to hold them.

******* Gabi.

I hope your heart gets ripped out your chest and **** on.

******* Gabi...
******* Ga...
*******...
****...
Fu...

P.S. Enjoy my leftovers *****.
Hannah J Strauss Jul 2019
Brown and White:

They paint a picture of creamy 70s house-life comfort, and makeup the bruises on hearts.

Orange and Green:

You stand in the green; roil, roll, fight, sweat, and faint in its infection. The orange sits in your toilet bowl, fumes of acid make you retch.

Blue and Yellow:

That's why envy is green, because you take the sadness of blue, and the joy of yellow and you get a manic, violent splatter.

Red and Pink:

Puppy dog love and bulging instinctive passion don't mix well. One is smiles and gentle kisses on closed eyelids, the other is sweat down tensed backs and barred teeth. A flower in a storm.
440 · Aug 2019
Sleep gently my love.
Hannah J Strauss Aug 2019
In your arms is where I am safe.
The warmth of your belly is a shield against the fears outside.
Your arms are the armour I wear as proud as any knight.
Your breath, slow and steady. It teaches my heart to calm.
Were I to die right now, it would be the only way I'd want to leave you willingly.
With you I am safe.
317 · Dec 2019
Little Spider On The Wall
Hannah J Strauss Dec 2019
Little spider on the wall.
Tell me, do see the love?
Tell me, do you feel the fear?
Little spider and the wall, tell me, is our love, love at all?
Was it meant to be?
Little spider on the wall
Is he a man you ask?
No, he is so much more.
Am I women you ask?
No, I could be so much more.
Little spider on the wall
I turn a round and you are gone
Where you even there at all?
This is a song I wrote that I hope to perform. I hope you like it. Its got a jazz slow-song vibe.
314 · Aug 2019
Like Husband, Like Wife.
Hannah J Strauss Aug 2019
Cousins in history.
Lovers in the New World.
Same proud voice.
Same searching glare.

Articulate and carved words.
Slow and thoughtful syntax.
Same oceans of knowledge.
Same wicked-sharp mind.

Her perfume wafts and sticks.
His shirt is bright and stretched.
Different glint in clever eyes.
Different smile on wizened lips.
He's American. She is British. The rest is history.
302 · Jun 2019
A Poem
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
My soul, what is left of it,
is stale. Like bread weeks old.

The dust gathered in the pit
is old, so old.

The emotion is long gone.
The senses are dulled.
And my heart…?

What heart?
298 · Sep 2019
Dumplings
Hannah J Strauss Sep 2019
In China, they’re eaten on special occasions.
But every day with you is special, and worth celebrating.

They are shaped to remember wealth.
I am shaped to be in love with you.

They are a whole meal with nothing else.
I am sustained because of you.

When we eat together, we should drink too.
This will make us richer.

From bowl to sauce to mouth.
The pattern woven is repeated.

In the tapestry we sit like an emperor and his favourite concubine.
Dumplings are the ingots of love we share.

The colours in the silk will fade.
The taste of garlic and soy will not.
“If you eat dumpling With Chinese liquor, your future will be richer."
267 · Aug 2019
Listen here
Hannah J Strauss Aug 2019
Progress.

Is not step by step,
It's one eye closed, the other
Peaking out reluctantly
And sighing with a smile.

Progress.

Is not day in and day out,
It's not seeing your friends for a while
And being commended for change
You don't even feel.

Progress.

Is not character building,
It is an evolution of the self.
A clock that turns and chimes it's hours
With every victory.

Progress is progress.
247 · Sep 2019
When I think of Gabi
Hannah J Strauss Sep 2019
Hate is heavy
That's why children fly.
It's weighs through your heart.
Comes out in your eyes.

Hate is heavy
Strong shoulders and bowed head.
Permanent scowl unable to lift
Once grinning lips now full of dread.

Hate is heavy
Like a library inside your mind.
Crammed with things you know.
And things you wanted to leave behind.

Hate is heavy.
So let it go.
It will only **** you faster.
Nice and hatefully slow.
Refer to Dear Gabi for context.
225 · Sep 2019
I Hate Myself
Hannah J Strauss Sep 2019
I hate myself so much.

I see the fat that coats my bones.
An immovable sludge.

I see the stares the beautiful girls get from everyone.
I see people look at my body with pity.

I hate myself so much.

I see the cellulite bulge through my clothes.
My insecurity makes me want to cry at the gym.

I hate myself so much.

I am strong.
I am fast.
I am me.

But there is nothing I hate more than me.
Feeling a bit raw and full of heartache. Bear with me please.
Hannah J Strauss Sep 2019
Today I am alone, but am not lonely.
The spring warmth and teasing breeze
Are all I need for company.

My silhouetted head and shoulders
Shield my eyes from the blinding sun.
I remember winter, wet and wind and do not miss it's chill being undone.

The chewy soft doughnuts, bought and Baked just minutes ago
Smell heavenly like sticky vanilla
And the buzzy bees will tell you so.

Birds I cannot see, chirrup and choo.
They see the promise of Spring
And I can feel it too.

The bluest blue of the sky above
Is clear as dewy morning drops.
A Monarch flits by idly
Its wings like a velvet glove.

A chocolate Labrador waits at the gaps in the fence.
He really wants to play.
But here I must sit patiently, and let the poetry have it's say.
Time for something different.
212 · Dec 2019
This Summer Is Different
Hannah J Strauss Dec 2019
This summer is different.
The sun warms stiff wintery bones just right.
The winds brush through my hair like fingers.
The water laughs and plays like children around me.

This summer is different.
The rain is heavy like my favourite coat.
The trees are taller than I remember.
The days are never long enough.

This summer is different.
I am alone for the first time.
It is so quiet; I can now hear my body speak to me.
This time, I will listen.
209 · Jul 2019
Looking for the Exit
Hannah J Strauss Jul 2019
Do you ever wonder down your memoirs,
And gaze upon the sight.
Of decisions made and choices missed
And questioned if you were right.

Do you see the tape of your first big mistake?
Playing over and over again.
Had you stayed. Or run away.
Chased by the laughter of men.

Do you hear the glass breaking?
Mother told you no.
And if only you had listened
Your friend wouldn’t have had to go.

Is the smell of his breath still sticking to your skin
where kisses he placed set?
Are they anchors to your body?
A chord to be played on a fret?

Does the vivid memory of Ben
Sting just as before?
Has Ben let you go?
Or do you just go back, begging for more?

What about your first time?
Do you love him still?
Is he too far gone down a road
With you trapped in the bougainville?

You look for the rewind.
Wish for another chance.
Hope to god that all this
Is just what they call lost in a trance.
Sorry it's late. I know I usually post on Monday, but this took a while to come to me.
196 · Dec 2019
Last of the Days
Hannah J Strauss Dec 2019
Perfectly tuned keys step out into the world
Dance down the canals of my ears.
Float into the blank vision of peace
And disappear like smoke before the next note falls.

Lashings of rain sound like popcorn on the creaky tin roof
And between cloud-washed sunshine
The wind sings its own song through the skies.
Its voice is familiar but always forgotten.

Cold creeps in, fog around my ankles.
Silence crushes around me, an ocean collapsing.
Music fulfills me, I am becoming.
Until the last key is played.
168 · Dec 2019
My eyes are brown
Hannah J Strauss Dec 2019
My eyes are brown, like molasses.
Or cinnamon...
It depends how the sun shines.

They are not bright.
They do not glimmer.
They are not oceans or stars or green like emeralds.

My eyes are brown, like a deer's.
Big and round...
They are innocent and can't scare anyone.

They are warm.
The sun turns them molten.
They are kind and soft.

I wish I had blue eyes...

To pierce into the minds of others and leave my impression.
To be memorable for the brightness in my face.
To be feared for the fury in my gaze.

I wish I had blue eyes...

So I could be part of the "pretty" club.
So I had an entire section of adjectives to describe them.
So I was special.

But I have brown eyes, and that will have to do.
165 · Dec 2019
Cosmically Great
Hannah J Strauss Dec 2019
I wake up before my phone's buzz, because I am SO excited to be alive.
I wake up and love just fills every pore and thought.
I wake up and the world is lucky to have me in it today!

Notifications let me know I was missed.
Birds sing good morning to me!
The spiders have spun, "hello friend" above my head.

My hair looks great, soft and shining.
My smile is broader than the horizon of possibilties.
My eyes are gleaming with potential.

Every outfit clings to me in awe.
My makeup does little.
My voice would make Enya cry.

Today I am a masterpiece of the universe.
Today I am a living God.
Today I am cosmically great.
For anyone who needs to be reminded how great they are :)
Hannah J Strauss Jul 2019
Like a briefcase
My words are ordered
In neat dividers.
Your file is to the back.

The form I pull out
Looks official and has
A FINAL NOTICE stamp.
Dear Mr....reads.

I don't know if they're
Hammers on your heart
Or if they'll cut strings
And let you go free.

I have something to tell you.

I don't know if your eyes
Will glisten or narrow or
Fein "okayness"
They are just words to me.

I am a postman
I have to deliver these
Words.

I have something to tell you.

I'm sorry.
151 · Aug 2019
Just Up The Road
Hannah J Strauss Aug 2019
A new smile.
Big and reaches the eyes.

A new voice.
Lighter and softer words.

A new body.
Stronger and truer in touch.

A new mouth.
Kisses so soft and real.

The warmth in my chest is wonderful and familiar.
It is the stirring of a new story.
I cannot wait to read it.

This presence is easy and calm.
No rush.
No strain.
No worries.

I cannot wait to feel it.
Another love poem...I know.
150 · Jun 2019
Existence
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
Existence bears a pain I hope to know.
Hope bears a joy in the satisfaction of becoming.
Joy is a responsibility only for the wisest and most lonely.
Wisdom is battle-scars won with great loss.

For life pulses through the abyss between stars.
It undulates colour and essence of a thousand thousand beings.

All shall know the pain existence bears.
All shall bear a joy in the satisfaction of becoming
And they shall call it hope.

Mind and matter will unravel, codified and infinite.

Bodies will implode.
Their bones, powder and form loam.
Teeth shatter and become stars.
Eyes burst and fill oceans.
DNA and RNA weave and burn.

Flesh melts and black oily-slick smoke
Blocks the paths on which thoughts wander.

Emotions are waves that vibrate along the threads
Of sinewy value in parabolas.

Pain. Hope. Joy.
This existence is satisfied.
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
There you are, on your knees.
Asking.

You ask for my permission, and a
promise of starlit-smiles
perfumed sunsets and doe-eyes
ever looking up at you.

But I won’t.

I won’t give you my stars
instead,
you can wonder at the darkness
beyond and between.

I won’t give you my sweet-smelling
end of days
instead,
you may see my beginnings, and when
my light is dimmed and the only sight
is that of life,
through veiled eyes.

I won’t give you my intent gaze
instead,
you may see how my eyes burn
as rage roils beneath.
See how they glow in my own happiness
and darken with my desires.

You ask for tradition, but all I
can offer is the broken parts
that make a whole "me".

I won’t bow and kneel and scrape.

I rise with the sound of prayer on my lips.

I rise to the equality that is my height.

Undiminished.
Untouched.
Unbowed.
Unbent.
Unbroken.

A viper ascending.

And this gown? Woven by one-thousand hands for one purpose?

This tomb for my virtue…

I will wear it like armour.
I will have my blood bleach the white.
I will burn the lace.

My enemies will take scraps of it as trophies
and will fly them in the wind.

A sick declaration of my love for you.

I will give you war.
I will bring the depths of the seas to the heavens
and
I will make you taste the iron that has forged me.

The power that has burned me alive.
*
I won’t give you peace.
You want peace? Go get your battle-hardened, weary dress upon my tower.

You want gentle love and a fully belly?
I will break the gates of passion
as I raise hell,
and I will gut your hunger from your very being with nails that have carved trenches for my dead…

In your back.

I will search eternity if I lost you.
I will fall madly and irrevocably
in love with you.

But only if you fall first.
149 · Nov 2019
Frustration and Anger
Hannah J Strauss Nov 2019
You know when you argue with someone
and you see the brickwall?
Behind their eyes it builds, and your words
crumpling against it.

And you bang your voice at the cement cracks
between thier stubborness and it comes back raw.

When you smash your fists against the jagged rock
begging for them to just SEE!
Pleading for them to understand...
And your knuckles come away broken and ******.

And you've lost before anything really begun.
Sorry its been so long since my last post. Life has been hectic. Hope you like this one.
144 · Jan 2020
Growing Pains
Hannah J Strauss Jan 2020
Here I have loved
Here I have lost
Onto greener pastures I go
I'd like you to follow
@hannahstrausspoetry
Is where I will be waiting for you
Eagerly. :)
My instagram handle :) please come and support my work on there!
@hannah_strauss_poetry
137 · Jun 2019
To the Man I love
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
I will always know your favourite food.
I will always remember your birthday.
And the day we first met.
I will always make you my no.1
And never leave you guessing where
My loyalties lie.

You could treat me like dirt and
I’d still let you walk all over me.

You could call me ugly and I’d
Think there was something wrong with me!

You could throw me away
And I’d still crawl back on
****** knees and broken nails.

You could drown me in the blackest ocean
And I’d blame myself for not knowing
How to swim in your storms.

You could have the worth of my love in gold
Around your throne.
And your sneer would have me scraping for pennies.

I never believed in God…
But something about you is divine.

I never trusted love…
But your mind changed mine.

I never saw my future with two…
Until I met you.

To the highest reaches of mountains
And cloud-kissed sky.
To the onyx chasms of the earth…
My love will go for you to wherever you ask.

I know it’s wrong to beg…
I know its weak to pray…
I know it’s silly to hope…

But please…Love me?
134 · Jun 2019
Goodness Personified
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
Smiles worth drops of love
Bright eyes that glow when sparked
And sparkle in joy.

Hugs that envelop and post pain away.
Heart of purest pure.

Messages long wrongly ignored.
Calls stupidly missed.

You reach
I reach
Each at different times.

Missed by a breadth and a mile.

A step back and loneliness gained.
A joke, a meal…
3 steps forward…

The daffodil and cosmos…

Beauty and open fields.

Friendship shall ever bloom.
For a dear friend, who lost a field full of flowers. Ever shall she bloom in the sunlit joy of memory.
129 · Jul 2019
Outrun Me
Hannah J Strauss Jul 2019
Almost comical
How something so small
Can make your bones feel like glass.

Almost a joke
How it spreads faster than joy
Tries to **** the light inside.

It ravages
So bloodthirsty it's blinded by sense
It will die too.

Throat raw from hard-fought breaths.
Tongue dry, too weak to say what's wrong.
Teeth crack and chatter from blood-deep cold.

The head is a ten-ton-ball balanced on a needle's edge.
It will plunge off the edge at the slightest push
And land with a wet squelch into lungs
Devoured by phlegm.

Every artery, vessel, vein and capillary is blocked.
A vile sludge sticks and oozes through
A suave and unwelcome guest.

The heart tries to break through its boney cage.
Frantic.
Fear of poison makes it bleet.
A lost lamb.

It will be done soon.
You cannot outrun the sickness.
127 · Jun 2019
And the cat is gone…
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
Blink. A few times more.
Lights gain contour and shapes move.
This is me at the very beginning
Not like conception, but at the start of memory.

The floor I am sitting on
with my legs daggling over the split-level
Is hard, yet warm. Parquet is the term for it
7 years later. Floor will do for now.

A tree towers before me, flashing brightly
Causing an assault on my eyes.
I think I can eat it. The round things look
like sweets.

Somewhere in the crème-coloured lounge suite
Below my throne an equally crème, equally uncomfortable,
Equally ugly set of couches and chairs
Laze in the afternoon butter-sun.

Grubby, sticky fingers draw abstracts
In the high polish floor, and I giggle at my
Masterpiece.
Something floats into my head.

Something? No, a someone. Mom
Later to be learned. For now, loud lady.
Incomprehensible jabber and noise
Fall out her food-cruncher.

Another floatie in my head,
It makes noises, but not like mom.
Mom tries to make its noises though.
It is soft like my blankie.

Update: Mom calls it Zeus. Also, it is
A cat. Zeus plays with the candy on the tree
No fair, I want it. Zeus also uses his teeth and nails
To hurt me, but his hair and nose hug.

His tail flails and bandies about in the air
Hips swaggering at my infancy
It looks good to pull.

Hissssss.
And the cat is gone.
126 · Jun 2019
Staring at Jealousy
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
Green eyes stare hungry.
Brown eyes bore into the cool glassy
reflection that is truth.

I feel a wire-haired and feral hand
crawl and shimmy up my throat
where it longs to pull the unspoken words
out like teeth.

Somewhere in the depths and bowels
a *** of sea salt boiling water rumbles.
Nowhere to let off steam.
Pressure pushes out my angry glare.

Mist that blinds and whispers lies
settles in my ears like dust on an old
mantelpiece.
Grudges are kept safe there.

Hands that clench into iron
and release in frustration.
Death to you all.
I wish I could make you disappear.

Stolen glances that are more
than just curiosity.
No name is safe from the search engine.
Or from me.

Acid tears run scathing burns down
into my lungs, choking on toxic emotion.
Acid tongue sends scathing slurs out
to women I don’t even know.

Venom in each full drawn stare.

Cracked claws carve hatred into my bones
and howl out my rage at the thunderstorm
for all to hear.
The lightning sends a reply.

It is the demons that hold me back
from stampeding.
From marching on the world.
From tasting blood.

Their shadow grip and dagger teeth sink in my soul like only they know.
Muscle strains and rips against the pull.
Sense wins out.

The green eyes blink.
Glossy and fierce.
The brown eyes close.

They are the same.
See (Dear Gabi).
125 · Jun 2019
Headrush and Tie-dye?
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
FWUMP! And a gasp. What the f-…

My thoughts blur around me
Shoals of vivid colour and incomplete thoughts
My heart threatens arrest and drums beat.

Hands fly out as if to catch
me before I fall again
Just soft duvet and…fur?

The dog? Right! THE DOG!
My overly attached shirt hugs my back
As the overly attached me hugs the
dog.

Madonna was there, and so was Brittany Spears
Dancing like only 90’s babes know how.
The tie-dye dance floor made the trips seem tame
And the 3D reality turned sound into the touch of
zero gravity.

A black limo oozed from between the waves of psychedelics
The window glimmered the black of money and power.
The Bratz? What the fu-…
Overly sized lips laughed at my frown.

Do you ever get that feeling that
The plummeting sensation when falling asleep
is just you standing up? In bed. Then collapsing.
A cruel joke the psyche plays on the physical.

As f the body is to marionet, and the mind
The puppet master.
A game of “Tag, you’re dead!” ha ha.
What the ****…

Such wonderful sleep, in such wonderful dreams.
123 · Jun 2019
The Price of Love
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
Tick tack toe
Give him and hand
Call you a ***.

Tick tack toe
Sun-kissed skin?
Nah, fake tan and highlighter glow.

Fee figh foe fum
“I don’t know what he wants!”
*****, are you dumb?

Fee figh foe…run
You’ll never be tight enough
You’re just for fun.

Eeny meeny miney moe
See his scars and tatts?
So just do as you’re told.

Eeny meeny miney…***
*****, you’re cute.
But you’re just a ***.
122 · Jun 2019
Sitting Still
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
Gentle shifting of cotton in skin.
Perfect pillows cradle weary muscles.

Watery grey light peaks through the
Back door, singing heavy eyes awake.

No demanding buzz and bells today.
It’s still 7:30 despite.

Shampoo fragrance sinks into plush softness.
Heavy blankets soothe achy bones.

The leaves whistle and whisper into the quite.
Slow and rhythmic breath flutters stray brunette strands.

Its still 7:30, has been for whole time.
Nowhere to be today, the mind at rest.

Pitter-patter of rain counts the seconds
As it falls past unlistening ears.

4 cream-and-cognac wall hum deep.
They hold together as long as needed.

The hands start their cycle.
The great race begins.

Noise and movement explode onto eye lidded screens.

But for a moment…I sat still.
And that is what mattered.
122 · Jun 2019
Señor ten piedad nosotos
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
A little house on a small black hill
Never growing always standing still

As if to say all here is dead
none survived and all have left
until my dear on one windy day
when the windmill turned
and the ground began to spray

A shoot emerged in that plain of plain
black like the hill
taller than the cane

It grew and grew and grew some more
mighty like mountains
till it seemed no more

And then slowly and quite polite
it extended a bough
at just the right height
for a swing my dear
now do you see the swing
that swings so effortlessly?

A little house on a small black hill
never growing always standing still.
But I see now more than before
that this is not true

I only had to open the door.
122 · Jun 2019
Alphabet Encoded
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
Strings of letters.
Threads of code.
Necklaces of knowledge.

Hunger insatiable.
Sources untameable.
Power unrestrainable.

Patterns and patters of worlds within worlds.
The understanding of a light-age, barely scraped.

Information on my tongue
Wagging, eager to be shared.
Brain waves pulse excited by new stimuli
thrashing for more.

This jewellery that adorns me glitters.
Value greater than life itself.

It is the currency and regency of the universe.
119 · Jun 2019
Congratulations Dearest
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
There is no evidence here.
There is no proof of that broken-tooth smile
Of those happy and sun gleaned faces.

No flash highlighted the essence of hard work
And shadowed the bitter tears and blood
Not a ghost, for that would suggest that that, which was is now dead
And that which is never lived
Can never die

Those close embraces of rocket energy never caressed
Those makeuped eyes never rippled
Those Cartier smiles never posed for this Oaken frame.

It was never hung
Proud and loved
A mock to the “drawings” on the fridge door.

The dog never ruined the first three attempts
And was never included in the final just because he was so ****
Cute.

A talent, some would say
To fabricate. To create from none.
A talent indeed to lose
After creation never capture the attention of the camera.
118 · Jun 2019
On Trying New Things
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
Oh the things you'll never say
Never see
Never play

With the weight of a lifetime anchoring you at bay.

Oh the things you'll try
Never do
Never buy

Restrained by ropes that will entomb you as you die.

Oh the things that will hold you back.
Stop your life dead in its tracks.

So try it once, and try it all.
What is meant to be will care when you call.
117 · Jul 2019
For you...
Hannah J Strauss Jul 2019
I cannot cry anymore.

When I stub my toe
Or twist my ankle
Or even when the dog in a movie dies.

Sure...I bubble a little and my heart aches too.

But tears for a boy, disguised as man?

There is no blood in my heart left to wring out.
The glassy pools he used to dive into are dry.
And old, cracked concrete sits and bleaches in the sun.

The hurt is there.
The hurt runs deep.
The hurt is all the reminds me it was real.

But I cannot cry anymore.
115 · Jun 2019
Funny Bones
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
A girl lived on a mountain tall.
The rush of wind and the plummeting fall.

“The horses” she cried.
Thunder galloping and stomping outside.

“Will they find the fodder?” She wondered to stars.
The morning brought a squeal echoed in memoirs.

Day in and night throughout the horses came.
Their hooves too gentle against the sugar cane.

A girl lived on a mountain tall.
The horses had never really come at all.
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
If you call out and
he responds, follow the boom
of an oaken door swinging closed
to the silence of the world.

If you reach out and
he grabs your hands, you will feel
the hours of a thousand labours.
Home Reno Hercules.

If you fold into his arms
and he holds you near
be lulled by the iron hooves of
Diomedes stampeding inside.

If you breathe deeply and
his essence coats your veins
tilt your head towards the sun
and taste *** on his skin.

If you mould your shaking hands
along his back, unpick the corded
muscle that is wound tight around
his heart.

If you graze his navel and chest
the rumble of an Alpha roar will sound
in his blood, and will rattle through your
fingers.

A living David, carved and cut from the
bones of father, and blooded by mother.
Storms war inside his mind.
Mountains cower in his shadow.
Oceans riots in his veins.

Man and Monster both.
111 · Jun 2019
Into yesterday’s Mirror
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
The ever faster-than-me clock outpaces me
It laughs over its shoulder and jeers at turns.

Sweat and tears mingle as the breath to keep up
Leaves without intention of coming back.

Frantic heartbeats leave me reeling in stillness
Hands glisten with foreboding.

****. Me. Why did I leave everything so late?
Why did I think I could do this?
111 · Jun 2019
Jealous Tights
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
Heavy drops and triumphant groans.
These are the songs of the gladiators.

Yoga class fully booked with little nymphs.
These are the halls of the eternally lusted.

Basketball court and players squeak and squeal.
These are the Olympians of the skies.

Soldiers of the treadmill army.
Warriors of weight.
Berserkers of the bulge.
Fighters of fat.

The biggest losers of them all.
111 · Jun 2019
Sex and Cigarettes
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
Smoke clogged pores ooze and drip.
*** is heavy breaths, clothes go rip.

Tongues hunt, tasting and hungry.
Eyes eat that which the mind thinks fondly.

Every muscle strains and bays.
Relief leaves bodies torn and frayed.

Limbs entwine and ribs rumble and moan.
Walls, they listen to every sigh and groan.

Souls connect from core to core.
Minds collide and time endures.

Pleasure cries through heady night.
Musk enrobes like full moonlight.

Sweat. Potent, powerful and sticky.
Peaked ******* play so pink and pretty.

Desperate and haggard breaths are
perfumed with lust, love and greed.

Thrum of you, thrum of me.
Blood…it tingles, spirits freed.
110 · Jun 2019
June Sun
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
Winter-white sun paints against a cloudless sky
and the traveller-winds greet the birds
in languages only they understand.

Warm like no fire ever was, and
blinding like all love there ever will be.
Cascading hair is a waterfall of
chestnut, auburn, chocolate and cinnamon.

A true winter delight.

A piano steps in time with a
distant violin and, together song
and dance flow.
A couple made of the same, for each other.

I wonder if they love each other,
or are they simply soulmates?
What else could explain the beauty of their creation?
106 · Jun 2019
Unbaked Pizza dough.
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
Man, those jeans look tight, that blouse dipped just right
and your hair frames you like a picture.

Man, that walk and sway, that look in your eyes as I begin to pray
no wait— I need a second to breathe.

Girl, that click click of flaking confidence on tiles is louder than any of those sharp-tongued wits
and that booming laugh will never be loud enough so drown out the noise of your arms crossed over your belly.

Girl, put down the water bottle that you drink your tears from and put away that open “secret” diary. No one will read the words of a girl still breathing her sadness.

Boy, don’t waste your time with that one, she nearly suffocated the last one with all that
and cries butter and canola oil.

Boy, ain’t nobody fooled by those leggings, trying to hide what we can all see, like Blood on the streets of Cali.

Boy, making me hungry here seeing them legs in those jeans that must be ovens trying to cook that unbaked pizza dough.
Boy, where you running?

Boy, where you hiding?

Boy, where did she go?

Boy.

She’s gone.
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
Dizzy.
Every movement sends galaxies skittering across the night sky of thought.
There is no up and down
and space drips time unending, unbeginning
into the swoop and sway of
static vision.

Tired.
Unshakeable fatigue grows out of barren bones.
Eyelids, lovers inseparable.
Feet that leave grooves in the few paths they take.
Arms unable to raise fists to fight again.
Haven’t done in a while…

Weak.
Please open this.
Please carry that.
Please carry me…?

Thirsty.
No, not that, just water thank you.
Grumblings are just tests. I pass every time.
Aromas are just vile sultry temptations.
The numbers never lie.

Muscles twang, bowstrings in a symphony of violins.
Fibres tear. The last straw.
Blood clots. It too is tired. Sludge in my veins.
Bones creak. Not enough weight to tether them.

God, I’m beautiful.
Hannah J Strauss Jun 2019
There it goes again,
The eternal want
No the eternal, unending need.

It stalks my every thought,
Sullies my every waking moment
A rash of good intentions failed.

The hunger is none
The Desire is all I know.

Control and restriction
Fail
Gluttony and weakness
Failing

Why does the butter melting in a hot pan
Become more sensual
Than any *** on Earth
It is my undoing
And my creation

The pants that scream at the stiches
Please stop!
The Magazine that flaunts
Decedent holiday treats!
Tears burning away the ropes of order
The foul gas
A high for the next fight.

Those digits are God send
Values beyond value.
They laugh and tease
Their coldness unchangeable
I never liked maths anyways.

Each mirror lies differently
All more evil than the last
Their silver surface accentuating every pitfall in you

The porcelain beckons
The intoxicating stench of bleach
Comforting
The embrace of understanding.

Shattered glass and shrapnel embed themselves
Into my DNA.
Never forget they say
I won’t. I cannot.
70 · Jul 2019
Today I Can't Write
Hannah J Strauss Jul 2019
As I sit and try to write
I think and wonder about my life.

Is my name meant just for me?
Or is there another, another three?

Is Winter chill truly best?
Is coffee something I actually detest?

Are the curves of my body so uniquely mine?
Are the laughs and smiles happily fine?

Am I good person when I feel wrong inside?
But I love dogs and cats and chocolate despite.

— The End —