I hate myself so much.

I see the fat that coats my bones.
An immovable sludge.

I see the stares the beautiful girls get from everyone.
I see people look at my body with pity.

I hate myself so much.

I see the cellulite bulge through my clothes.
My insecurity makes me want to cry at the gym.

I hate myself so much.

I am strong.
I am fast.
I am me.

But there is nothing I hate more than me.

In China, they’re eaten on special occasions.
But every day with you is special, and worth celebrating.

They are shaped to remember wealth.
I am shaped to be in love with you.

They are a whole meal with nothing else.
I am sustained because of you.

When we eat together, we should drink too.
This will make us richer.

From bowl to sauce to mouth.
The pattern woven is repeated.

In the tapestry we sit like an emperor and his favourite concubine.
Dumplings are the ingots of love we share.

The colours in the silk will fade.
The taste of garlic and soy will not.

In your arms is where I am safe.
The warmth of your belly is a shield against the fears outside.
Your arms are the armour I wear as proud as any knight.
Your breath, slow and steady. It teaches my heart to calm.
Were I to die right now, it would be the only way I'd want to leave you willingly.
With you I am safe.