As I sit and try to write
I think and wonder about my life.

Is my name meant just for me?
Or is there another, another three?

Is Winter chill truly best?
Is coffee something I actually detest?

Are the curves of my body so uniquely mine?
Are the laughs and smiles happily fine?

Am I good person when I feel wrong inside?
But I love dogs and cats and chocolate despite.

Almost comical
How something so small
Can make your bones feel like glass.

Almost a joke
How it spreads faster than joy
Tries to **** the light inside.

It ravages
So bloodthirsty it's blinded by sense
It will die too.

Throat raw from hard-fought breaths.
Tongue dry, too weak to say what's wrong.
Teeth crack and chatter from blood-deep cold.

The head is a ten-ton-ball balanced on a needle's edge.
It will plunge off the edge at the slightest push
And land with a wet squelch into lungs
Devoured by phlegm.

Every artery, vessel, vein and capillary is blocked.
A vile sludge sticks and oozes through
A suave and unwelcome guest.

The heart tries to break through its boney cage.
Frantic.
Fear of poison makes it bleet.
A lost lamb.

It will be done soon.
You cannot outrun the sickness.

I will always know your favourite food.
I will always remember your birthday.
And the day we first met.
I will always make you my no.1
And never leave you guessing where
My loyalties lie.

You could treat me like dirt and
I’d still let you walk all over me.

You could call me ugly and I’d
Think there was something wrong with me!

You could throw me away
And I’d still crawl back on
****** knees and broken nails.

You could drown me in the blackest ocean
And I’d blame myself for not knowing
How to swim in your storms.

You could have the worth of my love in gold
Around your throne.
And your sneer would have me scraping for pennies.

I never believed in God…
But something about you is divine.

I never trusted love…
But your mind changed mine.

I never saw my future with two…
Until I met you.

To the highest reaches of mountains
And cloud-kissed sky.
To the onyx chasms of the earth…
My love will go for you to wherever you ask.

I know it’s wrong to beg…
I know its weak to pray…
I know it’s silly to hope…

But please…Love me?

There you are, on your knees.
Asking.

You ask for my permission, and a
promise of starlit-smiles
perfumed sunsets and doe-eyes
ever looking up at you.

But I won’t.

I won’t give you my stars
instead,
you can wonder at the darkness
beyond and between.

I won’t give you my sweet-smelling
end of days
instead,
you may see my beginnings, and when
my light is dimmed and the only sight
is that of life,
through veiled eyes.

I won’t give you my intent gaze
instead,
you may see how my eyes burn
as rage roils beneath.
See how they glow in my own happiness
and darken with my desires.

You ask for tradition, but all I
can offer is the broken parts
that make a whole "me".

I won’t bow and kneel and scrape.

I rise with the sound of prayer on my lips.

I rise to the equality that is my height.

Undiminished.
Untouched.
Unbowed.
Unbent.
Unbroken.

A viper ascending.

And this gown? Woven by one-thousand hands for one purpose?

This tomb for my virtue…

I will wear it like armour.
I will have my blood bleach the white.
I will burn the lace.

My enemies will take scraps of it as trophies
and will fly them in the wind.

A sick declaration of my love for you.

I will give you war.
I will bring the depths of the seas to the heavens
and
I will make you taste the iron that has forged me.

The power that has burned me alive.
*
I won’t give you peace.
You want peace? Go get your battle-hardened, weary dress upon my tower.

You want gentle love and a fully belly?
I will break the gates of passion
as I raise hell,
and I will gut your hunger from your very being with nails that have carved trenches for my dead…

In your back.

I will search eternity if I lost you.
I will fall madly and irrevocably
in love with you.

But only if you fall first.

Tick tack toe
Give him and hand
Call you a ***.

Tick tack toe
Sun-kissed skin?
Nah, fake tan and highlighter glow.

Fee figh foe fum
“I don’t know what he wants!”
*****, are you dumb?

Fee figh foe…run
You’ll never be tight enough
You’re just for fun.

Eeny meeny miney moe
See his scars and tatts?
So just do as you’re told.

Eeny meeny miney…***
*****, you’re cute.
But you’re just a ***.

If you call out and
he responds, follow the boom
of an oaken door swinging closed
to the silence of the world.

If you reach out and
he grabs your hands, you will feel
the hours of a thousand labours.
Home Reno Hercules.

If you fold into his arms
and he holds you near
be lulled by the iron hooves of
Diomedes stampeding inside.

If you breathe deeply and
his essence coats your veins
tilt your head towards the sun
and taste *** on his skin.

If you mould your shaking hands
along his back, unpick the corded
muscle that is wound tight around
his heart.

If you graze his navel and chest
the rumble of an Alpha roar will sound
in his blood, and will rattle through your
fingers.

A living David, carved and cut from the
bones of father, and blooded by mother.
Storms war inside his mind.
Mountains cower in his shadow.
Oceans riots in his veins.

Man and Monster both.