What do I do,
While sitting next to you,
And my eyes slowly trace your lips.

How do I speak,
For this week after week,
When you stay outside my grips

How do you see,
Stupid little old me,
clumsily covering my feelings for you.

Because when I see your smile,
And my mind runs a mile,
I'm just not sure what to do.

Im not the one you want,
I dont think you mean to taunt,
It just hurts that you arent with me..

Depression is a *****,
She leaves you in a stitch,
Wondering why you're sad and why you're stuck down in a ditch

**** I meant a rut,
Gheez is she a ****,
Looking in the mirror got me feeling like a mut,

I couldn't see it clearer,
I hope she loves me dearer,
Such an intoxicating smell, this addictions why I fear her.

I'm sorry I missed my chance,
It was all too fresh,
The only thing fresh nows regret,
It's a shame we had to change stance.

I got burnt twice,
Both I chose,
To be with
And be without.

I'm waiting for a change,
When it comes back round,
Maybe it never will.

I've dealt with it all before,
But it's still so raw.

How do I start,
What words do I use?

Can I say love?

But what does that mean,
Trust beyond doubt,
Something I never knew about,
Until it came to you.

Is this all one big crush?

But I don't judge you superficially,
Your beautiful but that's not all,
But maybe it's why I wanted you initially.

I have no words for you,
You aren't perfect,
And no matter how much you say,
You aren't always correct.

But you're always on my mind,
Because the right words I can't find.

You're my conundrum.

I've fallen from grace,
I'm not in the right head space,
Too long I've been falling apart,
Don't even know where to start,
I can only tell you part by part.

Let's start with this,
I can't stand being sober,
I wish I could start it over,
It's not something I'd miss,
The sweet moments of bliss.

The most confusing year of my life just passed,
I drowned the downers with uppers,
And when it was on the up I was the downer.

Just another reason to forget.

There's so much pain,
In all of us.

I'll give you a gift,
I'll get rid of some of it,
Starting with me.

I guess I missed it,
The only chance I had.

Now I'm stuck in a pit.

I hope you and him live happily,
But our memories I'll always keep.

I keep waking up wanting to go back to sleep,
The dreams are no better,
Your on my mind always
But life passes quicker this way.

I've been searching for anything to fill this hole in my chest,
Now's the time to move on to the next,
But i can't.

Depressions my mistress now,
I go to her when no ones there,
Her arms wrapped around me,
Tight.