Alexandra

Alexandra Feb 2019

There’s a girl who is lost and never been found.
There is noise but she can’t hear any sound.

She sits in the bathroom.
She smells of broken perfume.

She’s got tears in her eyes.
As her heart slowly dies.

She smokes a cigarette.
As her choices turns into regrets.

She sits next to a bottle of drugs.
And there’s the teddy bear she hugs.

Somewhere along the way she got lost.

Alexandra Feb 2019

I'm Sorry

You took advantage of me.
I was 9 when you exposed yourself to me.
I didn’t know it was wrong so I did what you asked me to do.
I trusted you with my heart, because you were my dad.
You told me everything would be okay but it was far from okay.
You took my clothes off and I didn’t say anything.
I’m sorry.
You took my innocence away.
And now I am left here to pick up the the broken pieces of myself.
You were supposed to protect me.
I was your little girl, your world and you destroyed me.
It’s been 10 years and I am still broken inside.
I sit in my room and I ask for your forgiveness.
I’m sorry.
I should have stopped you, I should have stood up for myself.
But I didn’t because I loved you, because I trusted you, and now you are gone.
Tell me it’s not my fault.
Tell me that you still love me and that I’m still your daughter.
I’m sorry.
In my mind I hate you but my heart still loves you.
You put this war inside of me that I can’t win.
There’s this hole inside of me that I can’t fill no matter what I do.
You were my hero and now you are my worst nightmare.
Tell me everything is going to be okay.
Please still love me.
I’m sorry.

Alexandra Jun 2018

Wonderland

Alice fell down the rabbit hole and met the mad hatter.
They spent the days smoking and getting madder.
Life became a blur and she became sadder.

She knew who she was this morning but she’s changed a little since then.
Her mamma told her curiosity often leads to trouble.
She wondered when she was going to feel something again.
She can’t stop seeing double.

Alice was in wonderland.
It wasn’t what she planned.
Now she’s having tea with the hatter
Getting lost in the grey matter.
The queen wants her head.
And all Alice is seeing is red.
“I’ve gone mad” she said
“ No it’s all in your head” the rabbit said.
“Everything is wrong.” She said.
“Maybe in wonderland is where you belong.” The hatter said instead.

“Doctor, doctor I’ve gone off my meds.”
“I’ve gone entirely bonkers.”
“Don’t worry the best people are.”

Alice was in wonderland.
It wasn’t what she planned.
Now she’s having tea with the hatter
Getting lost in the grey matter.
The queen wants her head.
And all Alice is seeing is red.
“I’ve gone mad” she said
“ No it’s all in your head” the rabbit said.
“Everything is wrong.” She said.
“Maybe in wonderland is where you belong.” The hatter said instead.

I need some ideasss

Alexandra Apr 2018

Have We Become Lovers?

Days feel like years when you are not here.
My hands are so cold waiting for you to hold.
After waiting for so long, I’m finally in your arms where I belong.
All I need is you because you’re all that I look to.

Darling, the stars are burning for you and I.
Don’t let me go.
By your side, I’ll stand by.
Let’s just take this slow.

I don’t want to let you in because I don’t want to let you down.
I don’t want to drown in you tonight.
Just tell me that everything will be alright.
Your silhouette lingers in my mind.
I don’t know what I’m doing here with you because I know when you’re gone, I won’t know how to carry on.
You’ve become the air I breathe, I can feel myself going under.
Have we become lovers?
Ooohhh, have we become lovers?

I’m walking on a tightrope trying to get to you.
I need to know if you will always be true.

You can take my soul because now you’re in control.
This is the way we are, trying to heal each others scars.

I don’t want to let you in because I don’t want to let you down.
I don’t want to drown in you tonight.
Just tell me that everything will be alright.
Your silhouette lingers in my mind.
I don’t know what I’m doing here with you because I know when you’re gone, I won’t know how to carry on.
You’ve become the air I breathe, I can feel myself going under.
Have we become lovers?
Ooohhh, have we become lovers?

Our hands entwined, the stars are aligned.
You save my heart, making me a work of art.

*I don’t want to let you in because I don’t want to let you down.
I don’t want to drown in you tonight.
Just tell me that everything will be alright.
Your silhouette lingers in my mind.
I don’t know what I’m doing here with you because I know when you’re gone, I won’t know how to carry on.
You’ve become the air I breathe, I can feel myself going under.
Have we become lovers?

ooooo, you save my heart, making me a work of art.

Alexandra Apr 2018

Can't Be Replaced

Put down the razor.
Take your fingers out of your mouth.
Drop the rope.
Put down the gun.

Wipe the tears away.
Pick up your head.
Put the crown back on.
Remember why your here.

Your wrists aren't paper.
Your size isn't a number.
Your life is a never ending story.
You're not temporary.
You can't just be thrown away.
You're a gift on earth.
You're blessed.
The past can be erased.
But you can't be replaced.

Words are skin deep.
Yeah, I know the road is steep.

There's a light at the end of the tunnel.
you just gotta get through your struggles.

Your wrists aren't paper.
Your size isn't a number.
Your life is a never ending story.
You're not temporary.
You can't just be thrown away.
You're a gift on earth.
You're blessed.
The past can be erased.
But you can't be replaced.

We all fear rejection at some level.
We all have a dance with the devil.

We're all in the same game.
Some are just a little more sane.

We all go through our crucibles.
But that's what makes life so beautiful.

Ooo, remember the past can be erased. it can be erased.
But darling you can't be replaced.

Alexandra Apr 2018

Goodbye

Don’t remind me of the past.
With the questions you once asked.

Don’t make me remember, the dying ember.

We almost had it all.
But we couldn’t get to the other side of the wall.

You wrap your arms around me.
You take my heart and throw away the key.

Now you leave me haunted.
With all the things that we once wanted.

So take my soul.
I’ll keep all my love that I can’t control.

We crash and burn.
I wait for you to return.

Will you come back?
Or just turn my heart black?

So the memories
will be my remedies.

You’ll soon be a ghost
and that’s when I will miss you the most.

Just came to say goodbye.
I’ll let you finally fly.

Alexandra Apr 2018

In The Depths of Her Mind

She was the kind of girl who believed in true love.
She believed in the fairy tales.
She wanted to believe that was enough.
She just wanted to get out of this jail.

She wasn’t pretty.
She was magical.
She had the heart of the city.
She was angelical.

But her mind was dark.
She would sit in the park.
Watch the little kids go by
Wondering why.

She was a little girl who grew up too fast.
She lost her innocence when she was only five.
When she cried, it was the last.
It was the water, where she dived.

She would hold her breath.
Open her eyes.
See a flash of death.
And in her heart, she dies.

She grasped for air.
This life wasn’t fair.
And yet for some reason she cared.
She was so unprepared.

She wrapped her arms around herself.
As she put her mind back on the self.
In the depths of her mind.
She was undefined.

— The End —