Mary Oliver.
Got saved by the beauty.

as do I.


it's the only hope and prayer I can believe in.

people in their wholeness
can only be understood.

not explained.

they think im the problem.
I always knew I was.
I just hurt
more than others

and I hurt that
the execution was set
before I even got to the courtroom.

so the witness stand felt like the gallows.

and I held on to my pride.
and swallowed it whole.

they sent us to a therapist.
said the answers
are bigger
than the questions we cant word.

but the questions aren't
big
nor are it's answers.

it's the size of my heart.
my wants.
my needs.

Spent formative time,
riding,
my wild horse
my wild mind
to the place
right before the world ends,
then Dedicated the rest of a lifetime,
to the effort,
of saddling her,
all the whilst wishing
shed just take off
one last time
and fly.

you can't be what you're not.
even more.
you can't not be what you are.