I didn't push you
You decided to walk away
Couldn't bear the taste of
Defeating over a heart that
Was once in your hand

I'm not even surprised
I would throw up, too
'Coz my heart is dark and bubbly
Bitterly smelling and rotting slowly
In a chest of a girl
Who's perfectly alive

And now you're here again
Visiting my mind
But I won't let you stay
You've started a graveyard
In my head and in my heart

Maybe if things went different
There would be “lover” on your stone
And few days ago I saw here “friend”
Now I can't help but write “stranger” again

And there you are
Wandering in my mind asking for flowers
But I won't visit your grave
Not even once again

Because there's no point
Mourning over people
Who are dead, yet alive
Why would I cry again if I did it before?

The corpses are falling apart, slowly
Memories idealised, lying
Pretending how pretty it was
When we were together, trying to
Make me remember things I don't want

The look in your glassy eyes is irking
Not even trying to pretend the woe
Over somebody you've lost
Because you don't care enough to go to the funeral
Of someone you loved and trusted blindly
Calling me sweet and holding me tightly

And in my thoughts
It's like kissing a skull
Dead hand grabbing mine
Reaching from dirt and mud

We are the same
Living skeletons of one another
Living without a shame
We lost a lover

You started a graveyard
As a first man
I started a graveyard
By not loving them

And you started a row of lovers
But their love was never requited
So I pushed them down a cliff of disappointment
Or they choose to go the same path as you did
Not like there's a difference

Because whatever way you choose
I'll let you down, either fall or walk
And at the end you just see your name on a stone
And me, putting the heart I ripped out your chest
To put it in another and bury it six feet down

Where I can't reach it anymore
Unfortunately, where you can't reach it, too
So after all this time, I still have your heart
But I won't call you mine

You're just a memory on faded photograph
That I put by the stone
One last time I visited
And never came back again

We've known each other for long
But still, you can't say a thing
That would define me
What's that spark you see?

Well, I don't know
You have no clue what lives inside my guts
No way you could see within
So why are you still here, wondering who's under the skin?

I don't want you to get *****, finding out who I am
Coz there's a lot of **** inside my head
And much more ***** in my heart, both can't be replaced
No point in cleaning it up, trust me I've tried many times before

And I don't really need you
To see the mess
People around me have done
Coz you've helped them too

I'm sorry that it's true
And there is no cure for me
So don't try to find it
Or else, regrets will hunt me down
Because you've wasted your time not only
On me, but on my issues, too

How many times have you cried because of me?
How many times you wished you were dead
Because your feelings were accepted but not given back?
Tell me, I'll listen before I go, disappear on the quiet bubbly road

There's bulimia in me, I figured it out
Vomiting feelings I've once accepted, not able to answer them
And now giving them back in the nastiest way possible
Covered in dark bubbles, smelling like death

And I would kneel by the toilet
Throwing up all the things I didn't mean
But said with a smile, hoping you'll be glad
Because we are friends, right?
It leaves bitter taste that stays for days
And I can't help but think

Why do they try to see the darkest part
Where everything is messy and covered in blood
Examination of my fakest smiles leads them to realization
There's something wrong with my heart

And I appreciate that you care, yet
I'm sick of it
I can't handle feelings of others and
That drives me insane, needing more shots
So I could spit all the mess out from my mouth and get rid of it

You really are there when I need
Thanks about that by the way
But you can't heal a bulimian heart
That's sick of all this attention that
You're giving me

It's not your fault, it's just me
Knowing people who get too much attached to me
Will get hurt
So my brain starts fighting against it, leaving my heart with a message

Don't let them in and if you do
Get them out like stomach does
When it can't handle the food
Don't play it nice

Still, I can't help
But don't want to hurt you
Yet you're difficult
So now I'm standing here
Saying these words I've made up
Of what I threw up

Spinning 'round us 'till the end,
As if Earth is the center of the universe,
Always watching the mess we've made,
Hearing my cracking voice, ending the verse.

Sometimes I see it from my window,
"Wrong side of the house," I whisper,
While silver light is broken by willow,
Which only stands there and it's leaves whimper.

This massive body on the night sky,
So bright, but not from its own shine,
Reminds me I have to try,
'Cause my life is not defined.

The beautiful roof above my head,
The window to unseen worlds,
The proof that I'm not mad,
The proof I'll heal my wounds.

Shining bright in my direction,
Fading out in their place,
My eyes are blind to their perfection,
After all - how big is Space?

So I'll watch them through my window,
Not afraid of the dark,
Trying to count them by their mysterious glow,
Trying to catch the spark.