Pitter patter, heart beats faster.
Laying alone again.
Time drags on, time has past her.
From a long ago sin.

Anxiety grows stronger.
A feeling of deep dispair.
A love may be lost.
Am I the only one to care?

In the end it was me.
My faults are mine to bare.
Could I have helped them.
Would she even care?

An illness within me.
Has ruined quite a lot.
Without it would I be me?
That, I think not.

A cure there is none.
But now I understand.
The work has begun.
With Gods helping hand.


A.Emmi 03/10/18

Whispering in my mind.
No time to find.
Soul searching worry.
As vision goes blurry.

Head hung low.
So much I don't know.
Wondering is constant.
Cant accept the concept.

Always searching.
Restless yearning.
Heart is burning.
Life disturbing.

No Escaping.
Brain is aching.
Shaking and pacing.
Cant stand the waiting.


A. Emmi 03/19/18

Under me the weight pushes upwards
Contesting all emotion inside my eyes
Looking outward I bare and grit
Loosing balance I tumble and spin

Unparalleled by any past trauma
I craft a future I do not own
Conceding to fate I hold my heart
A heavey burden smoldering slow

A constant thread pulling away
Piling up into a tattered mess
Shattered glass broken once again
Swept up and tossed aside

Sitting idle thoughts asunder
Grazing for a smile a feeling missed
Anxious waiting a hard task indulged
Forever knowing nothing at all

A. Emmi
02/15/18

With open arms I wait for you.
Let us undo what we went through.
In two different worlds we are now.
But we must try no matter how.

A family so precious they deserve us both.
With hard work and trust will come growth.
But its not my decision alone to make.
Lets give us a try for our familys sake.

I have never doubted my love for you.
Something I am certain that you knew.
Marriage is hard work not always fun.
Lets not quit and call this done.

A vow I took and those words I meant.
My sins of the past I do repent.
I am not perfect that I confess.
Can we repair this god awful mess?


A. Emmi 03/11/18

Feelings of pleasure
Feelings of pain
Feelings of resistance
Feelings of strain

Thoughts of sarrow
Thoughts of repair
Thoughts of tomorrow
Thoughts of you here

Times of passion
Times of fright
Times of loving
Times of light

Regrets of yesterday
Regrets of fate
Regrets are plenty
No Regrets of you

My True Soul Mate.


A. Emmi 03/10/18

As I sit here thinking of all the pain.
I wonder how you can refrain.
How you gave up, and tossed me away.
Like I never existed, it all ended that Sunday.

All the good times we had.
You gave me two kids.
Made me a proud Dad.
Now I live alone, beaten and sad.

All the smiles, and love we shared.
Times we took comfort when scared.
The cuddles, the movie nights.
The camping, the Christmas lights.

A house in the country, our dream came true.
Now I live in this box, so far away from you.
I thought marriage was until the end.
But you will not budge, break, or bend.

Just remember you will always be my love.
I miss stroking your hair, your scent of dove.
Your gorgeous brown eyes, your lovely smirk.
Let us make amends, lets get to work.


A. Emmi 03/22/18

Constantly swimming against the current.
Every small task becomes a deterrent.
Fighting with mind body and soul.
Paying the gate keeper a hefty toll.

Blinded by light comfort in shade.
Forever dulling this rusty blade.
Breath by breath time moves away.
Crumbling and breaking down everyday.

Pictures are all this man has left.
Solitude in images a pain in my chest.
Craving your touch a smile a laugh.
Missing my friend my better half.

Dreams every night of what could be.
Thoughts of the past you and me.
I am still the man you fell for.
Can we rebuild can we restore?


A. Emmi 03/13/18