I used to think I couldn't go a day without your smile, without telling you things and hearing your voice back,
Then the day arrived and it was so **** hard but the next day was harder. And I knew with a sinking feeling I was going to get worse and I wasn't going to be okay for a very long time.
Because loosing someone isn't an event. It doesn't just happen once. It happens over and again.
I loose you every time.
I pick up your favourite coffee mug, or whenever that one song plays in the radio or whenever find your t-shirt at the bottom of my laundry pile.
I start loosing you. </3

I see you, but I cannot touch you
I hear you, but this isn't your actual voice
I climb on the table and kiss the screen.
I say,'' Mumma I Love You''.
She tries not to cry, she says, '' I love you more bachcha''.
I wanna hold her when she says this, I'm helpless.
I play with her when together,
But its hard to play games from the mobile screen on the way.
I can see may family through this screen daily.
I can talk to them over phone.
She asks me when will you be home with me.
I say soon mumma. She has no idea how I'm dying to see them.
I don't like seeing you through this laptop screen and talking to you over phone.
She says, “I gotta go!’’
I say no mommy don't leave me
I say mommy don't leave me again,
We both start to cry.
I tell my family its really hard, it really is.
I cry with them through this screen.
I tell them and my mommy to be strong, I will be home soon, its just about months.
I love you, now I gotta go.
I am learning new things and I'm not gonna mess with anything.
I blow kisses bye to them because I cannot hug and kiss them through this screen.

No I'm not liking it.
It's suffocating.
My condition is deteriorating.
I need a little bit of calm to my chaos
May be I am over reacting for things but,
This is definately not my charm.
I need someone to pat my back, hug me, caress me and say that everything is going to be super fine, after every dark night there is a beautiful bright sunshine!
This dark night seems neverending,
Alas! My wishes, my dreams, my desires still pending.
Dear Sai, life doesn't seem meaningful and cheerful anymore, hold my hands, kiss my forehead and take me to shore, ****! I'm sinking
I used to be a girl with jolly aura.
What has happened to me?
Its been long I haven't laughed genuinely.
Maybe because I'm away from home where my people love me truly and dearly.
Yes this journey is longer but definately not neverending.
I will grow much stronger.
I will strive and succeed, for that I am your Daughter, your bravest daughter.