Where do I begin or end I am without any explanation of my sin I've chosen to stay mad because I understand why people are sad I'm ****** contagious and mighty in my mind teetering on the edge of insanity with my back to sublime I get bored with everyday life and depression is another label for a long drawn out death for 30 years il wait maybe 30 more il pay all my bills work and forever more be a ******* bore drill in my tired soul some more eat your heart out poe we all die wanting more I didn't ask for this so I won't ask for love or understanding or acceptance from above fill my mind with only ever my existences woes I count on fingers and toes all my scars and sewn my mouth shut for screaming in the dark I will not I walk by the lights of gunshots cause love is a fairytale like a old movie I play to reminisce of my young innocent ignorant hearts view of the world

She said you can come in but you can't stay

If you do as she likes she will love you

You can't live for yourself anymore, not while your here

And when its your time to leave please leave without getting lost

I want you to understand, her freedom is necessary for this love, not yours

You have responsibilities as well expectations, these started before you but you own this load as long as your here

The point
The driven passion
Is to capture ghost
Ghost that haunt you
And ghost that comfort you
Capture them in music
In poetry
In a drawing, painting
Even the unnamed ones
That you feel but can't label
As a cry out
Into the sea of
That they are not alone
The emberrassing, shameful, dark, personal, and intimate
It all has to be portrayed to the rest
In a way best seen fit by the soul who feels it
So toda la humanidad knows they aren't alone
This is the whole point of us
Not your feeble helping hand in industrial melencholy and monotonous 9-5 schedule of familiar day to day
But scary, new, chaotic, unexpected
Trajic feelings, ghost
Capture them, write them down, push them through strings or your eyes our your vocal chords, brush, pencil, pen........just capture, share
That's the whole point
Love, validate, live

Feet pounding against concrete
Night air cuts me
Mile one is never easy
Its working though
Everything is melting away
Her leaving
Him dying
Picking up pieces of a broken life
Each contact with the pavement reverberates like a pulse from impact up through my shins, knees, hips, spine, cheeks, eyesight into my skull to pound out the pain, confusion, and fear.
Until there's nothing left but rythym........ pulse, breathing, impact

The familiarity of what I was comes up on your lips
Living in the dark you accept anything given called love
But we both know labels are bandaids for sick intentions
I wage enough war within myself daily, I am no longer interested in fighting outside of me
I use to seek out me in others, that's not healing. Snakes, she has them. Her head and heart slither over your soul and body with warmth and tight embrace. We don't eat until food is ripe, ready, at its peak of vulnerability. With ego full she wanders.......

Endless me
Indefinite thoughts
Its never easy to justify self destruction
Calculated worth and value
Label givers
Depression isn't always dark and sad
The sun never goes down
people never change, only faces
This place is broken
Generations on repeat
Nobody's a hero here, people can't save themselves
You have to survive first
Breath when it hurts
Wear clothes
Look out windows
Then one day you are walking forward
I use to think I needed an end
Now I only see endless

I am on fire
Be kind
Brutal in your love
Cold in your empathetic ways
Pain is a part of burning
Ash to ash
Spit on the dust
Those up high Don't cry for us
I built my misery sat up the cornerpost tall
I flew forever during my fall
Dark don't scare me
Il climb out
I'm built for this life never any doubt
Born to lose I burn alive
Pierced heart and broken lives
I am on fire, may my ashes combust, spit on the dust, il fight till the end don't cry for us