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Coleen Dirk Feb 2018
She came walking in, her countenance, her movements revealing
Her thoughts...here we go again ....her heart already guarded

On her face she carried the anguish, the fear
Nothing else was known
No vision or dream would conquer
The rejections already formed in those boxes

She entered our lives anticipating how long
Rejection became complacent in her world all alone
Yet prepared her for the others who would help her survive
Would the days shortened in those boxes given her more

She embraced them completely, they knew what others will never know.  They were there to help her survive the things she knew she would never tell.  The things they alone had shared

Here this family so idealistic reaching out to her
She entered with the others, to endure another journey
Knowing it could not last
Allowing nothing of herself to escape to be loved

The voices told her she must be more, so
She would awkwardly fly to places that others feared
Places where she could not be reached,
Her thoughts she lived in more

How would she cope with what she knew . She grieved loss,  in her moments of silence.  Alone so alone four sides of nothing
This was her home, the voices her only sanity

When  she  entered into this family  all they saw was beauty,  intelligence and possibilities
Amazing how she was

Did she view them  as idiots for not knowing there was more
They did everything wrong,  they knew nothing, they were foolish and careless with love.

But where were their boxes?   there were no boxes
Perhaps this was different,  but no she could not let go of what she didn't know
Something called for her and  something followed..her wherever she could go

She  would go too far and for so long and
every time she returned her heart was damaged greater and the voices were louder than before .  Louder and stronger requiring more

She struck out in ways that were destructive and painful oh so painful and she felt it.   It was all very hard and further she would go, further and further away until one day she stayed.  Why could she not tell us, why could she not say,  the boxes made me this way
Coleen Dirk Feb 2018
Emerald waters, refreshing beauty
Spilling over sandy shores, washing
footprints, imperfections erasing,
penetrating body memories

Dormant pain, anguish flashing
Devoured by such ways
Surrendering, hope deferred
Still contending, traumatized within

Darkness shadowing, sparks of light
Listening prayer,  never heard
Resisting anguish souls know
Of nothing more out there

Searching knowing, relief never comes
Far away from fragmented lives
Faith without works, does it mean
Left to time, where nothing heals?

Solitude embracing, seas so clear
refreshing, soothing waters
passionately embracing,
emerging healing now complete.

— The End —