You want to sleep, but your eyes won’t slim shut.
You crave happiness, but refuse to accept it.
You look for friends in empty thoughts.

How could I be wrong?
Am I not the puppeteer of my many faces?
Do I not control my thoughts?
I order my bones to grow steal and it’s my breath that they obey
How could I be wrong?
But my hands start to tremble as the faceless man cuts deep in my arms and leaves me drowning in my mimd
I yell for him to stop, to stop marching me down this black corridor
Don’t be dramatic! Far worse steps have been march down this hall
How could I be right?
If my brain does not obey me, and it is someone else's voice my body follows
Im left here with the faceless man, and then I
Suddenly realize
My cuts where never made by
someone else’s hand

Can you fall halfway?
Can you drown and still breathe?
If I touch the flame will I feel a warm burn?
Can you do it just for kicks?

It’s easy to want something for yourself when others want it too(for you), specially when it’s someone you like/love.
It’s easy to want happiness when someone is the imposible embodiment of it.  
Maybe that’s why romantic novels/songs/poems/movies are so praised nowadays. Because  having someone who is everything for you and that makes you feel you are nothing without them incentives you to reach happiness. It’s easy to be happy when you are not alone.
BUT, as Tyler Joseph once said:
“We all must learn to be happy with being alone; that’s when things begin to change”
So stop looking for them, because when they are gone what will be left of you?
You can and WILL be happy with yourself, and(as every thing that’s hard to achieve) I promise it will be worth it.