Someone once told me, the faster you grow up the faster you grow to death, after he spoke those words it went in one ear out the other like anything that gets told to a 14 year old girl. But now 6 years have past and its has forever ever been implanted in my scattered and unscramble brain! Hearing the words growing closer to death never made any sense to me until I really thought about growing up and then heard the saying, you reach an age where you start losing the things you love most, I was 17 when I heard this. My mind worked in a way that only a 17 year old athlete would think, my arm and elbow will always be perfect I won’t lose them, 3 years past and softball has been out of my life for 2 years elbow still intact but I call my mom and brother everyday to make sure god let them breath another day. I was given many opportunities to do better with life and I’ve always pushed it away cause I was greedy about keeping myself happy only! Now with a little man growing and a strong daddy getting ready I only want for my family but now I’m looking over my solder, getting scared of dying, and am always afraid of turning a new age. When will I lose my world when she’s taken from me or when the man that told me these things lifts off this earth. I’m scared every day but I’m even more scared to show it.